Absolution
by Masumi'sSword
Summary: LOVELESS: Forgiveness is the beginning. Ritsuka knows that only love will heal Soubi's broken soul and save him from a lifetime of pain. But will love save Ritsuka's heart, as well? RitsukaXSoubi,Yaoi, Canon. Spoilers through Vol 9 - Rating may change
1. Prologue On the Brink

**ABSOLUTION**

**By Masumi's Sword**

**Synopsis****: This fic takes place eight years after the last of the manga that has been subbed so far (Volume 9). Ritsuka is now twenty years-old, a university student, and he has not seen Soubi for eight years****. Since the entire story of Seimei, Ritsu and Septimal Moon has not yet been told, I've had to use my imagination a bit to fill in events that happen in the past. The story will be told in flashbacks and in the current timeline moving forward.**

**Pairings****: SoubiXRitsuka. Yaoi. Yes, this fic revolves around a relationship, physical and otherwise, between two men!**

**Rating****: "T" for language and sexual situations. I will publish uncut versions of lemons on my Rukilex account on Deviant Art that exceed the "T" rating.**

**Author's Note****: This is my first story for "Loveless." I had not intended to write a new story while I was still working on my Bleach stories, but Soubi and Ritsuka kept whispering in my brain, and, rather than ignore their voices, I indulged them. For those of my readers who don't know the "Loveless" fandom, I highly recommend watching the "Loveless" anime series – I think you'll fall in love with these characters and this universe as well. And, once you have fallen in love with Ritsuka and Soubi, be sure to read the manga as well!**

**If you like Bleach, or are interested in my other stories, I also write under the name Rukilex on Fanfiction! Check out my profile for links. And thanks for reading! -Lex**

* * *

Prologue: On the Brink

He stood on the landing of the small apartment building on the outskirts of Kyoto, a tall, confident young man with a lean athletic build, dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, a small duffel bag over one shoulder. There was no name on the apartment door, just the number "12" painted on a small wooden plaque affixed to it. Aoyagi Ritsuka ran a hand through his shoulder-length black hair and took a deep breath.

_Eight years._ Had it really been that long? On the train ride from Tokyo, Ritsuka had marveled at how quickly the time had passed.

"_I never want to see you again. That's an order." _

Even now, those words, spoken eight years ago, reverberated through his mind like a silent mantra. There had been many commands which Soubi had conveniently ignored; he had not, in the end, ignored this particular one.

Ritsuka took another deep breath and knocked on the door.

The sound of soft footfalls, bare feet on a wooden floor, the sound of a handle turning, and then they stood, eye to eye.

"Ritsuka." Warm brown eyes met cool blue. There was surprise on the older man's face – surprise, and pleasure.

"May I come in?" Ritsuka asked, simply.

"Of course, Ritsuka," Soubi answered, smiling and gesturing inside.

Ritsuka walked soundlessly into the small apartment – it was, unsurprisingly, sparsely furnished. Several canvases were laid out on the floor in what appeared to be the living room. Small dishes of paint surrounded the unfinished artwork; here and there, splatters of color interrupted the dull brown floors. The walls were bare, the blinds drawn.

Soubi walked over to the dining area and turned on a light. There was a single photograph on the cluttered table: a boy, dark-haired, his eyes reflecting sadness despite the smile on his face.

"You've changed," Soubi said, glancing from the photograph to the young man who now stood before him. "You are no longer a child."

Ritsuka smiled knowingly. He had lost his ears two years before, in his first year at university. She had been quite beautiful. Red-haired, outgoing, full of life. Everything Soubi was not.

"No," Ritsuka said simply.

Soubi pulled several piles of papers off the small couch near the paintings. "Please have a seat, Ritsuka," he said, his polite formality a reflection of the awkwardness that Ritsuka himself felt.

"Thank you," Ritsuka replied, sitting down.

Soubi walked over to the small refrigerator in the kitchen and retrieved two cans of beer. "Would you like a drink?" Soubi asked.

"Yes, thanks," replied Ritsuka, as Soubi handed one of the cans to him and sat down on the other side of the paintings on a wooden chair.

"Butterflies?" Ritsuka mused, studying the two canvasses on the floor. Cool shades of blue and green created a background like the sea; several large butterflies adorned the corners of one of the paintings, their wings vibrant orange and red.

"Of course," replied Soubi, not looking down. His eyes were fixed on Ritsuka.

"For years, I wondered why you painted them if you hated them so much," said Ritsuka softly.

"And you understand now?"

"Perhaps," replied Ritsuka, opening the beer and taking a sip.

"I hope you will enlighten me sometime," Soubi said, leaning back in the chair.

Ritsuka said nothing.

"It is good to see you, Ritsuka," Soubi continued, unfazed by the silence. "I thought that I would never see you again after Seimei left. I missed you, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka's eyes darkened slightly at the sound of his brother's name. "I didn't believe you would follow my orders when I told you to stay away from me," he said, glancing back down at one of the paintings.

"Have I disappointed you, then?" asked Soubi, a hint of a smile on his lips.

"No," replied Ritsuka. "For once, you kept your word."

"I live for you, Ritsuka," Soubi said simply.

"So you have told me," replied Ritsuka, a hint of weariness in his voice.

"This has always been true," Soubi explained, "no matter what has happened. It is _still_ true."

"You betrayed me, Soubi. In the end, you lived for _him_, not me." There was no anger on Ritsuka's face, although the brown eyes now reflected the same sadness as the photo of the young boy on the table. Pools of pain that ran deep.

"I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, Ritsuka."

"I forgave you the moment you betrayed me," said Ritsuka, smiling. "Just like I forgave Seimei."

"I love you, Ritsuka," said Soubi, his eyes meeting Ritsuka's with steely determination.

Ritsuka did not immediately reply, but lifted the beer to his lips once more and drank. Then, putting the can on a small table near the couch, he leaned forward, closing some of the distance between them.

"I want you to fight for me, Soubi," he said.

"I am Loveless' fighter," Soubi replied.

"Not for Loveless," Ritsuka retorted, a hint of anger in his voice. "I want you to fight for _me_, Soubi. For Ritsuka. That is _my_ name."

Soubi smiled, the same coy smile Ritsuka had seen hundreds of times before - a smile that said it all, and still said nothing.

_This is why I cannot trust you, Soubi,_ thought Ritsuka, the familiar pain of betrayal forcing its way to the surface once more, despite his best efforts. He stood up, walked over to the window and peered out at the darkening sky through the wooden slats. At the edge of the horizon were the same colors Ritsuka had admired in the painting minutes before – reds, fuchsias, oranges.

Soubi stood up and walked over to the window, stopping several feet behind Ritsuka. Ritsuka turned to face Soubi, narrowed his eyes and frowned. Then, looking into those cool blue eyes, he asked, "Do you really love me, Soubi?"

"Always," Soubi replied, reaching out and running graceful fingers through Ritsuka's hair.

In spite of himself, Ritsuka's eyes closed at the touch.

"_I want to see him. I don't want to see him."_ How many times had he experienced that same thought? Eight years ago, the dichotomy of his feelings for Soubi had been a constant source of distraction in Ritsuka's life. But now…

_I am no longer a child,_ he thought with some sadness, as his eyes met Soubi's. He felt a strong urge to feel the warmth of Soubi's arms around him, to put his head against Soubi's chest, to feel safe within those arms once again.

_You learned years ago that you cannot go back; the only way is forward. You finally accepted that you could not be the Ritsuka your mother remembered; you must accept that you cannot now become the child Soubi once knew._

"When I was young, I didn't understand when the others showed me their names," Ritsuka said, his hand reaching for Soubi's neck, gently touching the place where he knew Seimei had carved the word 'Beloved' into that pale flesh. "I didn't understand why they would care if the name appeared on their skin. What good was trying to understand something like that - something over which I had no control?"

Soubi was silent.

"I never wondered why 'Loveless' did not appear on my body," Ritsuka continued, resting his hand now on Soubi's neck, "because I didn't _care_ if it was there, Soubi. I am not 'Loveless'. If I am to fight as your sacrifice, then it will be_ my_ decision, _my_ choice. If you are to be my fighter, it is because you _choose_ to fight for me."

"And what have _you_ chosen?" Soubi asked, clearly intrigued.

"I have chosen to fight with you, Soubi," Ritsuka replied, feeling his eyes well up with tears.

Soubi reached up and brushed a single tear from Ritsuka's cheek.

"So what is your answer, Soubi? Will you fight for me?" Ritsuka asked a for a second time. "Will you fight for _me? _For Ritsuka?"

Before Soubi could respond, Ritsuka reached over to his right arm and, with some trepidation, pulled gently at the bottom of his sleeve.

"I have chosen you," Ritsuka repeated, his voice strong, insistent.

Slowly, Ritsuka pulled his sleeve upwards to reveal the bare skin of his forearm. Soubi's eyes widened in astonishment. There, tattooed on the soft flesh of Ritsuka's forearm was a single name: 'Soubi'.

"I have chosen _you_, Soubi."

* * *

**Author's Note****: Hope you enjoyed the prologue. I hope to update this story at least every 2-3 weeks and hopefully sooner. Please let me know if you liked it! Reviews always make me smile. Until the next update, thanks! -Lex**


	2. Coming Home

_**He who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.**_** -Japanese Proverb**

Chapter Two: Coming Home

**Six Months Before:**

The room was covered in butterflies – boxes, filled with iridescent color, adorned nearly every space on the walls. And yet the effect was overwhelming, depressing; Ritsuka felt as though he were surrounded by death, the beauty of the specimens lost on him. Why did seeing the butterflies make him feel as though he were about to cry?

_Soubi_, he thought, overcome with sadness. _How you must have suffered in this place._

"Aoyagi Ritsuka. What a pleasant surprise." The voice awoke him from his cheerless reverie.

"Hardly a surprise, Minami-san," Ritsuka replied evenly, quickly regaining his composure. "You were clearly expecting me."

"Very true," Ritsu replied. "I have been waiting for you for a very long time, Ritsuka-kun. I had hoped you would come sooner, but I am a patient man."

Ritsuka frowned, but said nothing. Ritsu stood and walked over to Ritsuka, reaching up and touching Ritsuka's face with his hands, probing to 'see' the face, no longer that of a child. Through the dark glasses, Ritsuka could not see Ritsu's eyes, but he knew that there were now only empty sockets beneath.

_God, Seimei, what were you thinking?_ Even now, Ritsuka had little love for the man who had trained Soubi – he had come to understand some of what Ritsu had put Soubi through – but the cruelty of Seimei's act still made him feel ill. _No one deserves to be treated that way._

Ritsu's hands ran lightly over Ritsuka's hair. Realizing Ritsuka no longer had his ears, Ritsu smiled, but said nothing. Ritsuka took Ritsu's hands from his head firmly but kindly and stepped back from the older man. "You know why I have come, don't you?" Ritsuka asked, frowning once more.

"Of course," Ritsu replied. "You want me to teach you."

"I want to learn what it is to be a fighter," Ritsuka said, determinedly.

"But you are _not_ a fighter, Ritsuka-kun," Ritsu replied, slightly amused.

"You and I both know that nothing is that simple, Minami-san," said Ritsuka.

"You have learned more about Septimal Moon, then," Ritsu said, with a smile.

"I've guessed," Ritsuka answered, coolly. "Soubi won't speak of it, and both Nagisa-san and Nana-san have avoided my questions."

Ritsu smiled, then gestured to a chair in front of his desk, walking back behind it with apparent ease. "Please, Ritsuka-kun," he said, "have a seat."

_He is blind,_ thought Ritsuka as he sat down, _but he is still strong._

"But you are not just here to learn about fighting," Ritsu said, a hint of amusement on his face. "Are you, Ritsuka-kun?"

"No," Ritsuka answered, surprised by Ritsu's question.

"You want to know more about Soubi."

"Yes," Ritsuka admitted freely.

"And yet you have not seen him in," Ritsu paused for effect, "nearly eight years now."

"That is true," Ritsuka replied.

"After all that happened, you still love him, don't you?"

"Does that surprise you, Minami-san?" asked Ritsuka.

Ritsu smiled. "No, Ritsuka-kun," he answered, "it does not surprise me, given what I know of you. In fact, it gives me hope."

At this, Ritsuka's face darkened. "It was not only my brother who abused Soubi," he said, with barely controlled anger.

"Do you wish me to tell you about Soubi?" Ritsu countered, unfazed.

"I want you to be honest," Ritsuka answered, simply.

"Training is harsh, Ritsuka-kun," Ritsu responded. "And Soubi…he was _different._"

"You mean he had a heart."

"Yes," replied Ritsu. "But it was more than that. He was vulnerable and he was willing."

"You exploited him."

"I simply worked to augment what talents he possessed," said Ritsu, a trace of a smile playing on his lips.

"You loved him, too, didn't you Minami-san?" Ritsuka asked, watching the older man's face carefully.

Ritsu said nothing. Again, Ritsuka found himself strangely drawn to the butterflies, despite the pain they evoked for him. The irony that now, the man who had spent so many hours collecting them would never again appreciate their beauty, was not lost on Ritsuka. He found himself wondering how difficult it must have been for Ritsu to let Soubi go, and his thoughts strayed to Soubi's paintings.

_No,_ he thought. _He never really did let Soubi go. He kept Soubi's soul pinned under glass, just like the butterflies. A prisoner._

"There's no need to answer, is there, Minami-san? We both know the truth. And yet, you let my brother take him, knowing what my brother was, knowing what he would do to Soubi."

"I did what I had to do, Ritsuka-kun," Ritsu answered, solemnly. "I had no choice."

"You won't tell me why, then? Why you gave Soubi to my brother?"

"I cannot," replied Ritsu. "That is for you to learn, Ritsuka-kun. And, knowing that I cannot reveal that truth to you, do you still want me to teach you?"

"Yes," replied Ritsuka, without hesitation. "I want you to teach me. I want to understand."

* * *

**The Present:**

"_Sit still. I can't draw you if you're fidgeting."_

"_We've been at this for three hours, Soubi," Ritsuka complained, shifting his leg slightly so that it didn't ache so much._

"_I like watching you, Ritsuka," Soubi replied with a coy smile._

_Ritsuka frowned, but before he could say anything in reply, he found himself gathered into Soubi's arms, pressed against his chest. He closed his eyes and inhaled the now-familiar smell of cigarettes and oil paint, burying his head deeper in the folds of Soubi's shirt. Soubi's arms tightened around Ritsuka's small body, at first gently, then firmer, until Soubi felt as though he would suffocate from the pressure._

"_Soubi," Ritsuka whispered, struggling against the oppressive grip, "I can't breathe."_

"_Soubi's gone," came a familiar voice. The grip did not relax, but bound Ritsuka still tighter._

"_Seimei!" gasped Ritsuka. "Seimei, please! I can't breathe!"

* * *

_

Ritsuka woke up in a cold sweat, sitting bolt upright and struggling to make sense of where he was. He felt a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Bad dream?"

"Soubi?" Ritsuka rubbed his eyes, slowly realizing that he had been asleep on Soubi's couch.

_Damn dreams,_ thought Ritsuka, avoiding Soubi's eyes.

Soubi sat down next to him, brushing Ritsuka's black hair lightly out of his face with graceful fingers. For a moment, as in the dream, Ritsuka let himself be drawn into a chaste embrace, the lingering fog of sleep transporting him back eight years to a time when he had willingly let himself be held. It felt good.

_Too good,_ thought Ritsuka, pushing Soubi away and standing up. _Dangerous. You're here because you need to do something. This isn't about you._

Soubi, undoubtedly sensing Ritsuka's discomfort, stood up as well and walked over to the kitchen. "Okonomiyaki?" he offered.

In spite of himself, Ritsuka smiled. Although his own abilities in the kitchen had improved since he left home, the memories of meals eaten with Soubi had been good ones – adventures into new tastes and smells, the opening of doors and the beginning of Ritsuka's healing.

"Sure," said Ritsuka, pulling on a t-shirt and walking over to the kitchen, sitting in one of the chairs at the small table. "I've missed your cooking, Soubi."

At this, Soubi smiled and began to mix the batter, artfully combining flour with the other ingredients, much as he mixed his paints to create just the right shade for his art. Several minutes passed in companionable silence with Ritsuka leaning on the chair, watching, and Soubi gathering more ingredients from the refrigerator.

"Why now?" Soubi said, quite casually, somewhere between beating the eggs and chopping the onion.

"Why am I here?" Ritsuka smiled and shook his head. "You tell me, Soubi," he countered.

"You spent three months at the Seven Voices," Soubi replied, not looking up from a particularly slippery mushroom that he was gracefully chopping with the large knife.

"I figured you'd been keeping up with me the past eight years," Ritsuka replied, with a soft laugh.

"Does that make you happy, Ritsuka?" asked Soubi, the corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards.

Ritsuka sighed. "Yes," he said. "I suppose it does." The truth.

"What were you doing at the school?" Soubi asked as he flicked a small bit of nori that had stubbornly clung to the outside of the bowl.

"You didn't ask Ritsu-sensei?"

"No." The smile had faded; Soubi's face was, once again, somber.

"I will tell you why I went there," Ritsuka said, "when it is necessary."

Soubi stopped beating the ingredients and turned around to look at Ritsuka. His blue eyes seemed almost gray in the florescent light, sad.

"When did you get the tattoo?" asked Soubi, after a pause.

"A few weeks ago," Ritsuka replied, "after I left Seven Voices. I made a decision, Soubi."

Soubi's hand strayed to the wrappings about his neck, a gesture not lost on Ritsuka. "It's nothing like what Seimei did to you, Soubi," Ritsuka nearly growled.

"He named me," Soubi answered, pouring the batter into a hot pan, his words nearly lost in the sound of the liquid as it met the heat and hissed angrily.

"He _branded_ you, Soubi," said Ritsuka, standing up and walking over to the counter. "You had no choice; you did what you were told. I know what happened. Seimei used you. He treated you like an animal."

"He commanded me. He was my sacrifice."

Ritsuka walked out of the kitchen and over to the window. Through the blinds, he could see the sun beginning to rise on the horizon. "I won't treat you like him, Soubi," said Ritsuka, slightly defiant now. "You deserve better than that."

Soubi placed the frying pan on the table, pulled several plates out of a cabinet and laid several sets of chopsticks by the plates. He then poured hot water into a small teapot and set it on the table, as well.

_Soubi,_ thought Ritsuka sadly, as he sat down across from the other man, _you really don't understand, do you?_

"I am happy you are here, Ritsuka," Soubi said, as they ate, pausing from time to time between mouthfuls to watch Ritsuka.

Ritsuka looked down at his plate, unwilling to meet Soubi's eyes. _Will he always break my heart?_ he wondered silently.

"You haven't asked me why I came," Ritsuka said, as he ate the savory pancake. He found he was far hungrier than he had realized; the thought of seeing Soubi again had, until now, banished all thought of food from his mind, and it had been nearly a day since he had eaten anything of substance.

"It doesn't matter to me," replied Soubi, smiling once more. "You came because you want me to fight for you. That is enough for me."

_What would it take to make you change, I wonder?_ thought Ritsuka sadly.

"Is it still simply enough that I command you to fight for me?" he said aloud.

"Of course," Soubi answered, never taking his eyes off of Ritsuka.

Ritsuka looked up at Soubi once more and felt his heart thud loudly in his chest. He swallowed hard and, ignoring the rising fear in his gut, he stood up and walked around the table. Soubi did not move, although Ritsuka was keenly aware of the fact that the other man was holding his breath.

_Why are you so afraid to love him?_ Ritsuka wondered, taking a deep breath. _You know what you must do to save him. You've gone over this a thousand times._

"Soubi," Ritsuka said, placing his hands gently on Soubi's shoulders. He felt Soubi's shoulders tense. He moved to the side of the chair and reached out his hand to Soubi. For a moment, Soubi did not move.

"I love you, Soubi."

"You've never said that to me before," Soubi whispered.

"No," replied Ritsuka, fighting back tears, "I guess I never have."

Soubi took Ritsuka's hand.

* * *

Okonomiyaki is a Japanese savory pancake containing a variety of ingredients. The name is derived from the word okonomi, meaning "what you like" or "what you want", and yaki meaning "grilled" or "cooked" (cf. yakitori and yakisoba). Okonomiyaki is mainly associated with Kansai or Hiroshima areas of Japan, but is widely available throughout the country. Toppings and batters tend to vary according to region (Courtesy Wikipedia).

* * *

**Author's Note****: I realized as I was writing this chapter, that I don't believe Ritsuka ever tells Soubi directly that he loves him in either the manga or the anime. Still, I don't think there is any question that Ritsuka ****does**** love Soubi. Ritsuka certainly has conflicted emotions when it comes to his feelings for him, but it's interesting to me that he never expresses his love for Soubi in words, although he does so for Seimei.**

**This story will explore the meaning of love for both Soubi and Ritsuka. I wonder if Soubi will ever be able to give Ritsuka the kind of love Ritsuka needs – unconditional and faithful? We've seen in the past that Soubi has been unable to break his bond with Seimei and that Ritsuka has suffered for it. We've also seen that Soubi's need to protect Ritsuka has kept him from forging the kind of bond needed for a fighter and sacrifice to become truly strong. The Ritsuka in this story is eight years older and wiser. Has he learned enough about what love really means to save Soubi from himself? And, if Ritsuka can save Soubi, will he save himself as well?**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Remember, reviews are love, too! Please let me know if you're enjoying the story. –Lex**


	3. Lost and Found

Chapter Three: Lost and Found

**Two Weeks Before:**

"Ritsuka-kun!"

"Kaidou-san."

"Kaidou-san? _Kaidou-san?_ After all we've been through together, you and I – I'm still Kaidou-san?"

"I'm sorry," laughed Ritsuka. "Kio-san."

"Just Kio, please," said Kio, motioning Ritsuka inside the apartment. "I almost didn't recognize you, Ritsuka-kun. How long has it been?"

"Eight years." The words sounded empty, hollow.

"Please, Ritsuka-kun, come in," said Kio, putting his hand on Ritsuka's shoulder. "It's been way too long, you know."

Once inside, Ritsuka was immediately confronted by an overwhelming sense of loss. The place looked almost exactly the same as he remembered it – almost the same, but for the unmistakable presence or, more accurately, absence - of Soubi. This apartment was devoid of anything of Soubi's, with the exception of a single canvas that hung on the wall over the eating area: a sea of blue and two butterflies.

Ritsuka took a deep breath. How many nights had he spent here as a child, asleep in Soubi's arms? At the end, when he had ordered Soubi to leave him alone, he had come to think of this place as his home – a refuge from his mother's abuse and the pain of Seimei's betrayal.

"Brings back memories, huh?" asked Kio, kindly.

"Mostly good ones," Ritsuka replied with a smile.

"He hasn't been back, either," Kio offered. "Not since graduation."

Ritsuka sighed.

"You did the right thing, Ritsuka-kun," Kio continued.

"I hurt him," said Ritsuka sadly.

"Sou-chan is a child," Kio replied. "More than you ever were."

"He's been hurt, Kio."

"You've always been kind, Ritsuka-kun."

"How is he?" Ritsuka asked, walking over to the painting and smiling.

"When you told him you wouldn't see him again, I thought he'd become what he was before – empty, barely alive," Kio said, softly. "And maybe he has, in some sense." Ritsuka ran his fingers over the rough surface of the painting, drawn, as always to the aching beauty of Soubi's art. "But there's something different this time, too."

"Different?" Ritsuka asked. "How?"

"I'm not sure I can explain it," Kio replied. "After you two met Seimei and Nisei that last time, he just…shut down."

Ritsuka frowned. _So did I. It was as if Seimei twisted my heart and ripped it in half._

"He still thinks he betrayed me," said Ritsuka, his voice low with emotion.

"Didn't he?" asked Kio. The words were harsh, but his voice was gentle and there was sorrow in his eyes.

"He didn't want to," Ritsuka answered, turning away from the painting. "I understand now. He's been…"

"Abused," Kio supplied, with a sigh.

For a moment, Ritsuka said nothing. _Kindred spirits,_ he thought, _Kio and I. Understanding Soubi but helpless to do anything for him._

"Where is he, Kio?" Ritsuka asked, finally.

"Kyoto," Kio replied. "Got a job as a graphic designer with some big advertising company there. It works for him – he can fade into the woodwork, he doesn't run into people he knows. I saw him about six months ago."

"I want to see him, Kio," said Ritsuka, realizing that speaking those words had made his shoulders and jaw tense involuntarily. _You can do this,_ he told himself. _You're the only one that can save him._

"Do you want me to go with you?" asked Kio, clearly intrigued at the prospect.

"No," Ritsuka answered, wishing he could take Kio with him, "but thanks for offering. This is something I have to do by myself. And if what I have in mind works, I'll bring him back here soon."

Kio's eyes lit up and he smiled gently. "He's lucky to have you, Ritsuka," he said.

Ritsuka returned the smile. "I was just about to say the same - that he's lucky to have you, Kio. I guess we both need him, don't we?"

**

* * *

The Present:**

Soubi stared at Ritsuka, still holding Ritsuka's hand.

Ritsuka smiled and pulled Soubi towards him away from the table, taking Soubi in his arms in much the same way Soubi had held Ritsuka, hundreds of times before. "I told you, Soubi," he said. "I made a choice. I chose _you_."

"I don't understand," said Soubi, clearly stunned at Ritsuka's gesture.

_Good, _thought Ritsuka,_ I've caught him off-guard. _

"There's nothing to understand, Soubi," Ritsuka replied, still holding Soubi, his arms laced around Soubi's waist. "When I was a child, you loved me. Now it's my turn to love you."

Ritsuka reached up and ran one hand through Soubi's ash-blond hair. It felt like silk between his fingers. Soubi's blue eyes met his own, and Ritsuka was struck at how childlike those eyes seemed – full of surprise and wonder. Ritsuka felt his heart race again. _You've known this might happen for years,_ he thought, _and yet you're still afraid._

"Ritsuka," whispered Soubi. "You don't need to do…"

"Shhh," said Ritsuka, putting his fingers to Soubi's lips. "Don't speak. Just let me love you, Soubi."

Soubi opened his mouth to speak again, but this time Ritsuka silenced him with his own lips. Soubi moaned softly as the kiss deepened and Ritsuka, in spite of himself, felt his body respond to Soubi's. It had never been like this before; before, it had always been something chaste, innocent. In truth, Ritsuka had not meant this to be anything _but _innocent. Still, he found himself thinking about how beautiful Soubi was…

_This isn't about you,_ Ritsuka thought once again, taken aback by his body's reaction, _this is about him._

Soubi pulled away, looking slightly stunned. "No," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "I don't deserve this."

Ritsuka took a deep breath. _You knew this wouldn't be easy,_ he reminded himself.

"It's alright, Soubi," he said out loud, smiling warmly and now looking directly into those cool blue eyes. "Just remember that I love you and I will not leave you. I have chosen _you_, Soubi."

Ritsuka's cell phone rang.

Inwardly relieved at the distraction, Ritsuka pulled the phone out of his pocket and tapped it. "Youji-san," Ritsuka said, studying Soubi's reaction at hearing the name with some amusement. "Outside Tokyo? When?"

Soubi frowned slightly.

"Good," Ritsuka replied after a pause, "we'll meet you there in a few days…. Yes, I'm here in Kyoto with him. ..Yes, he'll be coming, too. Thanks, Youji-san."

Ritsuka tapped the cell phone once more and replaced it in his pocket. "Still not interested in why I've asked you to fight for me?" Ritsuka asked playfully.

Soubi peered at Ritsuka over his round glasses. "No," he replied.

"You're lying, Soubi," Ritsuka said, smiling. "But I'll play along. You'll know soon enough anyhow."

_They will find me soon – they know I've been asking questions,_ thought Ritsuka_._

"We're going to Tokyo, then?" asked Soubi, walking over to the kitchen and beginning to clean up. Ritsuka thought he saw Soubi touch his hand to his lips for just an instant. Was it possible, then, that Soubi had felt it as well?

"Hmm," Ritsuka replied, watching Soubi and grinning. "Youji and Natsuo are meeting us. They've been working on something for me."

"Nagisa-san let them?" Soubi asked casually as he washed the dishes.

"Does that surprise you?"

"Nothing about you surprises me, Ritsuka," Soubi replied. "I have never doubted that, if you put your mind to it, you could accomplish a great deal."

Ritsuka laughed softly. "I'll take that as a compliment, then, that I'm beyond surprising you."

"When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow morning," Ritsuka replied. "I was hoping you might show me Kyoto today. That is, if you don't mind."

"I would do anything for you, Ritsuka," Soubi incanted over a sink full of soapy water.

* * *

Four hours later, Ritsuka lay back on the grass in Gosho Park, on the grounds of Kyoto's Imperial Palace. The spring sun was warm on his face, and the air was filled with the scent of blossoms from a nearby grove of cherry and plum trees. They had wandered the city together, talking little, enjoying the companionable silence of old friends. From time to time, Ritsuka had held Soubi's hand, ignoring the surprised looks of some passers-by.

"It's beautiful here, Soubi," Ritsuka said, smiling up at Soubi who sat, his knees pulled up to his chest, watching Ritsuka.

"I come here after work sometimes," Soubi said, pulling a cigarette from his shirt pocket and lighting it.

Ritsuka frowned, waving the smoke away from his eyes with his hand. "I thought you quit," he complained.

"I did," Soubi replied, "for a while, at least."

Ritsuka didn't need Soubi to explain; he knew why Soubi had started smoking again. Soubi always smoked when he was under stress. Even after Ritsuka had commanded him to stop, Ritsuka had caught Soubi smoking after Seimei's return from the dead.

_So many promises broken,_ Ritsuka thought sadly. _So many promises he truly wanted to keep._

"I suppose if I order you to put that disgusting thing out, you will," Ritsuka said, with obvious frustration.

"Of course," Soubi replied fervently.

"I won't do it, Soubi," Ritsuka replied. "I understand that when we fight someone must give the orders, but I won't order you about like some sort of pathetic dog."

"I want you to order me about," Soubi replied, simply, smiling coyly. "I live for you to command me, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka jumped up, his face flushed, angry. "Damn you, Soubi!" he shouted, causing several onlookers to glance in the other direction and speed up their steps. "I've told you, I'm not like Seimei or Minami-san. I _won't_ be like them."

Feeling as though he was twelve years-old again, Ritsuka stormed off into the grove of flowering trees. Once there, he leaned back against the gnarled bark of a particularly old sakura and closed his eyes.

_I swore I wouldn't do this,_ he thought angrily. _I swore that this time I'd know better, that I'd be more patient, that I… _

A sudden chill interrupted his thoughts. A feeling he had not experienced in eight years: the presence of a fighter nearby.

_They've found me already? Damn. We're not ready. _

He ran back over to where he had left Soubi. He was gone.

_No you don't,_ Ritsuka screamed in his mind. _Soubi! You will __not__ fight without me!_

And then he saw Soubi, standing in an open field, face to face with two scruffy-looking boys, sixteen or seventeen years old. Immediately, Ritsuka felt slightly dizzy, sick.

_Something is different about these two. They're not from Seven Voices. But how…?_

"I declare a battle by wordspell," said the older of the two boys, a dark-haired, lanky boy nearly as tall as Ritsuka, wearing all black, his nose pierced with a single silver hoop. "Fighter systems engage."

The world around them all but vanished. Ritsuka ran to Soubi's side, his eyes narrowed. All around them was nothing but bright light - an absence of color and form. Ritsuka had seen many backdrops for fights before, but nothing like this. Nothing so _empty._

_What are they?_ he wondered, fighting a renewed bout of dizziness.

"You were expecting them?" Soubi asked, eyeing the newcomers warily.

"Yes," Ritsuka replied. "I figured they'd show up sooner or later. I just hoped it would be later."

"Cut the yapping," said the boy who had spoken before. "Defend yourselves."

Ritsuka nodded almost imperceptibly to Soubi, who raised a hand, palm facing towards the pair, and frowned in concentration. "Who are you?" he asked.

"We are Three," replied the second boy, looking Soubi and Ritsuka over with obvious disdain.

"Three?" asked Soubi. "I have never heard of such a name."

"What difference does it make to you, old man?" demanded the first boy, angrily. "It's just a stupid name, anyhow. Names mean nothing to us."

"I am only curious," replied Soubi, "that's all." He glanced at Ritsuka, who took a deep breath, but said nothing.

"Let's do this, Akira," said the second boy. "We have our orders."

"Orders from whom?" asked Soubi, intrigued.

"None of your business," replied Akira, his dark eyes flashing almost red. He waived his hand in the air and shouted, "Capture the light and render it darkness!"

"Surround the light and deflect!" replied Soubi, watching the other fighter with interest. It was immediately clear to Ritsuka that Soubi had never seen such a fighting style before – cold, calculated, almost mathematical in its precision. Heartless.

"_We once believed that we could program our fighters with spells, that we could use spells in much the same way as the weapons of war. It was from this thought that the Zero were born."_ Ritsu's words, spoken to Ritsuka only months before. _"But it became clear that to manipulate the fight in such a scientific manner meant sacrifice far beyond what we imagined. If was because of this that some of us left Septimal Moon, renounced it. But there were others…"_

Despite his attempts to force Ritsu to explain, the older man had simply changed the topic or ignored Ritsuka's questions. In the end, Ritsuka had left Seven Voices knowing not much more about Septimal Moon than he had before. _What did Ritsu mean?_

Ritsuka felt himself bound by heavy metal shackles, doubled over and panting. Soubi's defense had not worked.

"Ritsuka," said Soubi with concern.

"I'm fine," Ritsuka replied, gritting his teeth and standing up straight once again. "But these guys…" His words were cut short by another attack from Three's fighter.

"Blood becomes ice, arresting life!"

Ritsuka dropped to his knees, clutching at his chest. The pain was overwhelming. He felt his heart skip a beat, then another.

"Ristuka!"

_Damn,_ thought Ritsuka, taking in deep gulps of air, trying to steady his heartbeat. _He's trying to kill me._

"Fool!" shouted the sacrifice of the Three pair. "You cannot protect your sacrifice by worrying about his safety."

"Whirlwind push through the clouds," said Soubi, forcing himself to look away from Ritsuka. The white background shimmered slightly as Soubi's hair flew about his face. "Erase the gateway!"

The blinding white backdrop now dripped with shades of blue and green – colors Ritsuka recognized from Soubi's art. _He understands,_ thought Ritsuka, still struggling not to lose consciousness. _He knows it's something about this place itself that is preventing his spells from reaching their target._

"Nothingness returns, the air is still," parried Akira. The colors vanished once more, bathing them all in an even brighter light.

Ritsuka found it increasingly difficult to breathe, let alone think clearly. _I'm missing something here,_ he thought. _This is about manipulating the environment._

"Open the portal, enter the night sky!" shouted Soubi. The blinding white of the fighting space was interrupted by stars overhead.

"Vanish life from this place, bring eternity," countered Three's fighter. And again, the white light returned and Ritsuka found himself gasping for air.

_Vanish life? Bring eternity? What the hell…? _And then it struck Ritsuka, what the other fighter had done, what was so different about this fight than the others.

"Soubi," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, the pain in his chest intensifying. Ritsuka grabbed Soubi's hand and pulled to get Soubi's attention. "Soubi," he said, between gasps, "you need to substitute your own imagery for their fighter's. They're using the images, the nothingness of this place, to attack."

Soubi's eyes burned a fierce blue, turquoise, like the ocean. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Fill the void with life," he intoned. "The hues of sunset, the smell of the earth, the warmth of clouds."

The pressure on Ritsuka's chest began to abate, the pain began to fade. He was still shackled, but he could breath once more. He opened his eyes to see the entire space filled with color.

"Empty this place of death, bind it in nature!" shouted Soubi, as the wind once again began to blow about them. There was a sound like the rustling of wind through the trees and the Three sacrifice fell to his knees. "Teeming seas abound with color, wrap your arms around the emptiness."

The Three sacrifice screamed and fell to the ground, bound by chains that appeared to shimmer like glass prisms, splitting the light into myriad colors. The boy moaned and Ritsuka felt the chains around his neck and arms fall away. The late afternoon sunlight replaced Soubi's surreal imagery as the real world around them reasserted itself with quiet grace- the sound of children laughing mingled with the scent of cherry blossoms.

"Should I kill them?" asked Soubi, evenly, his face unreadable.

"Dammit, Soubi," Ritsuka snapped, "you know how I feel about that. I want to talk to them."

Soubi smiled, but said nothing, as Ritsuka ran towards the Three fighting team. The fighter, Akira, looked at Ritsuka with pure loathing. "Damn fool, Takki," he hissed angrily. "Why the fuck did you have to get so beat up? You know I can't take you back like this."

"Sorry," mumbled the sacrifice, looking quite gray in the face.

Ritsuka now stood only feet away from the pair, Soubi several steps behind him, watching Akira warily. Akira, whose face now looked almost as ashen as his companion's, bent down over Takki and, without saying another word, pulled something from his pocket. There was a glint of sunlight on metal and, before Ritsuka could do anything, Akira had plunged the blade into Takki's chest.

"Stop!" yelled Ritsuka, horrified. Soubi reached for Akira, but he kicked Soubi hard in the shin and took off into the park, disappearing behind a high stone fence. Soubi would not leave Ritsuka, instead watching the boy run off.

Ritsuka, on his knees at the injured boy's side, pressed his palms against the bloody wound in a valiant effort to stem the bleeding. The boy called Takki looked up into Ritsuka's eyes and opened his mouth to speak. "Sorry…," he said, his voice barely audible, "…Akira." His body went limp.

"Ritsuka," Soubi said, his hand on Ritsuka's shoulder. "We have to get out of here. Now."

"But we can't," Ritsuka stammered, still pressing his hands against the wound, "he's..." Ritsuka's voice trailed off.

A crowd had gathered around them, muffled voices, expressions of shock at the sight of the still body of the boy, and the blood.

"He's dead, Ritsuka," said Soubi. "We can't stay here." Soubi pulled Ritsuka to his feet, even as Ritsuka stared at his bloody hands. "Come on, Ritsuka. Please."

The sound of sirens, a woman's scream – Ritsuka heard nothing but the pounding of blood in his own ears and Soubi's voice. "Please, Ritsuka. Let me keep you safe."

* * *

**Author's Note****: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter – I really appreciate it! It means a lot to know that the story has struck a chord with people other than me. ;-) So, a hint of things to come with Ritsuka's confession of love, as well as the first fight-sequence of the story. **

**As you can see, the 'Three' pair is different from the type of fighter we've seen in the past, but vaguely reminiscent of the Zero fighters. To them, a name is something superfluous that has no deeper meaning. And what of their fighting style, which manipulates the framework/backdrop for the fight and, in doing so, causes damage to their opponent's sacrifice? Ritsuka clearly expected he would encounter fighters, but who sent them? Septimal Moon? Seimei? And why would a fighter kill his own sacrifice? All will be revealed in time. -Lex**


	4. The Dark Side of the Moon

Chapter Four: The Dark Side of the Moon

**Three Months Before:**

"No!" shouted Ritsu, his spell missing Ristuka's head by just inches. "A fighter does not question a command."

"But if I don't defend against the spell, the sacrifice will be injured," Ritsuka shot back, angrily.

"There can be only one leader, Aoyagi-kun," said Ritsu, making his way over to Ritsuka across the large gymnasium, running his hand along the wall to navigate without his cane. "Challenging an order can mean death for both fighter _and_ sacrifice."

"But sometimes seeing things from a different vantage point…"

"It doesn't matter," Ritsu interrupted, pointedly. "A fighter must not question. A fighter must _obey_."

They had been sparring for hours, it seemed. Ritsu, despite his blindness, was still a powerful opponent for a novice like Ritsuka. Ritsu excelled at spells and had kept Ritsuka running all afternoon.

In the two months he had spent at Seven Voices, Ritsuka had learned to chant a number of spells, and had started to attempt to create his own, with moderate success. _"There is power in words, Ritsuka,"_ Soubi had once told him. Ritsuka had understood this, but only to a certain degree. Learning how to use his own spells had been both a revelation and a humbling experience; he realized how much of an art form Soubi had created, and how woefully inadequate his own attempts were in comparison.

"A spell comes from your soul, Ritsuka," Ritsu had told him one evening, after a day spent sparring in this same gym. "But the words are only the vehicle for power - you must have a reason to fight. This is why a fighter must care only for his sacrifice. The sacrifice is the fighter's reason to fight."

It was the first time Ritsuka had realized that the term 'sacrifice' did not take its name because the _sacrifice _gave himself up for the fighter, but because the _fighter_ gave everything up for his sacrifice.

"Ritsuka-kun," said Ritsu, now standing next to Ritsuka. "You will not progress until you understand what it means to possess the soul of a fighter."

"Soubi has that soul," Ritsuka said, softly, leaning against the wall.

"Soubi is far more than just a fighter, Ritsuka," Ritsu said. "His strength lies in the fragility of his soul, and in his willingness to be commanded."

Ritsuka said nothing, but wiped his sweaty forehead on his sleeve. No amount of time spent with Minami Ritsu would change Ritsuka's opinion of what Ritsu had done to Soubi, although Ritsuka had begun to understand Ritsu better. Ritsuka had come to Seven Voices prepared to despise the man who had broken Soubi's spirit; instead, he found himself pitying him.

"You asked me to tell you more about Soubi," Ritsu continued, undaunted.

"Yes," Ritsuka replied with irritation, "and you have consistently avoided my questions."

Ritsu smiled patronizingly. "There was never a student as talented," he offered, watching Ritsuka's face for a reaction. "His mother refused to allow him to come here. She knew what it would mean for him."

"But you brought him here anyhow," Ritsuka observed pointedly.

"After she died," Ritsu explained, "there was no place for him. He had no family, not even distant relatives. He would not have been safe in an orphanage; there were others who would have taken him for themselves. Others with far more depraved motives than my own."

"So _you_ took him," Ritsuka said, angrily. "You abused him, you…"

"I loved him," Ritsu said, cutting across Ritsuka.

"You tortured him," Ritsuka nearly shouted. "Natsuo told me. He overheard Nagisa-san…" Ritsuka felt physically ill, recalling Natsuo's stories of how Ritsu had 'trained' Soubi to withstand pain.

"I did what I had to do, Ritsuka," Ritsu said, his expression pained. "Soubi would have been destroyed had I done nothing."

"And you think what you did to him _didn't_ destroy him?" Ritsuka said, his now only inches from Ritsu's. "How old was he when you took his innocence? Fifteen? Sixteen?"

"Fourteen," replied Ritsu, his voice low.

"Would it have destroyed Soubi to allow him to keep his ears until he was no longer a child?" demanded Ritsuka.

"No."

"You tore his heart to shreds and fed what was left of him to my brother," Ritsuka hissed. "Of all the people…" Ritsuka's eyes filled with tears.

_Seimei. How could you have loved me when your heart was so cold?_

"I have made many mistakes, Ritsuka-kun," Ritsu said, with a sigh. "What I have left in this life, I don't deserve. That Nagisa would take me as I am, after all I have done…I am more than fortunate."

Ritsuka wiped his eyes. If he allowed himself to cry at this moment, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop. This place was a constant reminder of Soubi and of Soubi's pain. It was almost more than Ritsuka could bear.

"I know why you came here, Ritsuka-kun," Ritsu said, after a moment. "But you must know you cannot save him."

"You're wrong, old man," Ritsuka snapped, his words uncharacteristically harsh.

"I wish I _were_ wrong," Ritsu replied. "His was a beautiful soul."

"It's _still_ beautiful to me," Ritsuka replied passionately. "_I _will protect _him_ this time, Minami-san. And I _will_ save him."

* * *

**The Present:**

Ritsuka's body shook involuntarily. He sat, hugging his knees, seated on the floor of Soubi's apartment. The image of the dead boy was burned into his consciousness; he looked at his hands, half-expecting to see blood.

"Here," said Soubi, handing Ritsuka a glass of water, "drink this."

Ritsuka's hand trembled as he took the glass and drank the water too quickly. He coughed violently. Tears ran down his face; tears of sorrow at the death of the Three sacrifice, Tikki. Tears for the boy he had seen perish in flames in Seimei's place, whose identity he might never learn.

"Slow down," Soubi admonished kindly. "Don't drink it so fast."

Ritsuka closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt sick.

_It's not supposed to be this way,_ he thought bitterly. _I'm the one who's supposed to comfort him. I should have protected __him__._

Soubi sat down next to Ritsuka on the floor, brushing the tears from Ritsuka's cheeks. As a child, Ritsuka had hated to cry in front of Soubi. Now, he didn't care.

"Why?" whispered Ritsuka. "Why would he do that to his sacrifice?"

"I don't know," Soubi replied. "There was something about them. Something…"

"Cold," Ritsuka supplied, opening his eyes once more. "It reminded me of something Minami-san said when I was at Seven Voices– something about Septimal Moon - about Zero and some of the other experiments with fighter pairs. He said that scientifically manipulating fights caused the fighting units more harm then they had anticipated. It's what ended up dividing the seven members of Septimal Moon. He, Nagisa-san and a few others left the group."

"He never mentioned such a thing to me," said Soubi, taking the glass of water from Ritsuka and placing it on the floor. "He only told me about Zero. But then I never went back to Seven Voices after I thought Seimei had died, not until I went with you."

_I will save you, Soubi_, thought Ritsuka, like a silent mantra.

"Are you up to traveling, Ritsuka?" asked Soubi, standing up and offering Ritsuka a hand.

"Traveling?" Ritsuka asked, grasping Soubi's wrist and willing himself out of his emotional fog. "Why?"

"They will be looking for us," Soubi replied, pulling Ritsuka to his feet.

"They? You mean Septimal Moon?"

"Septimal Moon and the police, Ritsuka," answered Soubi. "They'll want to question us about the boy, Tikki. They'll find us here. Our photographs are already all over the internet."

"Damn, Soubi," Ritsuka said, sadly, "I'm sorry I've gotten you involved in this. I should have realized…"

"My life here means nothing, Ritsuka," Soubi said, interrupting. "I have been waiting for you for eight years. I will go anywhere with you, do anything for you. You have given my life meaning again, Ritsuka. You have no reason to apologize."

"Seimei."

"What about him?" asked Soubi.

"He's involved in this somehow," Ritsuka replied. "For all I know, _he_ sent that pair today."

"And what if he is involved?"

"Who will you fight for, Soubi?" asked Ritsuka, looking into Soubi's face, searching it for answers.

"I will fight for _you_, Ritsuka," came the confident reply.

_If only I could believe that, Soubi_, Ritsuka thought.

"I love you, Soubi," Ritsuka said, taking Soubi's hand in his and gently kissing it. _I will forgive you - again and again.

* * *

_

**Author's Note: I purposely did not have Ritsuka call Ritsu 'Minami-sensei' in this story – Ritsuka understands all too well the failings of the man who trained Soubi. In re-reading the manga, I found it interesting that Soubi does not call Ritsu 'sensei', either (when he calls him at all, that is) – perhaps as a result of the abuse Soubi suffered at Ritsu's hands. Or maybe it's something else – Soubi's disdain for anything that does not have a connection to Seimei or Ritsuka. And on that point – I have to wonder how much of that attitude came from Seimei, and his belief that everyone other than Ritsuka is an 'animal'.**

**Ritsu tells Ritsuka that Ritsuka cannot save Soubi. I suppose, from a psychological standpoint, that is true – change has to come from within. But what Ritsu overlooks is the power of an emotional connection to another human being – something Ritsu himself never really had. And that's where the hope in this story lies. But will Ritsuka be able to make a connection – a _true_ connection – with Soubi before it's too late? More questions… Answers to come, of course! -Lex**


	5. The Faint of Heart

**Author's Note****: Double update for the weekend! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and feedback – they really do mean a lot. Don't forget to review if you have a chance –I really do want to know if you're liking it! -Lex**

Chapter Five: The Faint of Heart

Ritsuka's head lay against Soubi's shoulder, his face partially hidden beneath the broad brim of Soubi's hat. The train jolted Ritsuka's head from its perch, and Ritsuka wrapped his arms tighter about Soubi to keep from slipping off. Soubi smiled as he watched Ritsuka sleep, glancing from time to time out of the train window at the darkness beyond.

They had left Kyoto on the first commuter train out of the city, eschewing the Shinkansen bullet train for the less visible local trains. It meant their trip to Tokyo would take much longer, but it would be easier to hide or, if necessary, slip off a train and avoid being questioned by the police. Ritsuka had laughed when Soubi bought the hat to disguise his blond hair, but so far, they had managed to elude the authorities.

Despite the uncomfortable nature of their trip, Soubi had never been happier: he was with Ritsuka once again. _"I love you, Soubi."_ The words echoed in Soubi's mind, and he smiled.

_I don't deserve him,_ Soubi thought, with a sigh. _After all I put him through…_

Ritsuka shifted slightly, burying himself in Soubi's chest. Soubi adjusted his arm slightly, pulling Ritsuka nearer.

_What have you gotten yourself involved in, Ritsuka?_ Soubi wondered silently. He could imagine, of course. Their last encounter with Seimei had been a painful one – the psychological wounds had run deep. Soubi felt a familiar pain in his chest at the memory of that last meeting, pain at his own betrayal of the young man he now held so lovingly.

_I am sorry, Ritsuka, that I always bring you so much pain._

* * *

It had all started so peacefully, that morning eight years ago. Ritsuka had left for school, having avoided his mother's watchful eye and slipping out without eating breakfast. Soubi had painted, skipping his modern art survey course and dragging himself to school well after lunchtime only because he had to turn in a project to his advisor. Kio, upon discovering that Soubi had eaten nothing since the night before, had taken it upon himself to pick up several bento boxes from the corner restaurant, and the two of them had worked on a required class project in the studio for several hours.

"You need to talk about it, Sou-chan," Kio had said, knowing full well that Soubi would say nothing about his encounter with Seimei at Seven Voices, or anything that happened afterwards.

"There's nothing to talk about," Soubi had said, popping a cigarette into his mouth and lighting it.

"You're not supposed to smoke in here, you know," Kio had said, falling comfortably into their little game of verbal sparring and dabbing white oil paint on a particularly stubborn section of the canvas in front of him.

"And you're not supposed to talk," Soubi had replied. "It's distracting."

"How's Ritsuka?" Kio had asked, noticing with some satisfaction the dark look this question drew from Soubi.

"He's fine," Soubi had replied. "He'll be coming over for dinner tonight."

"Oooh," Kio had nearly crooned, "that means you're cooking. I'm tired of udon."

"Who said you were invited?"

"I live there," Kio had replied, scowling.

"I'll let you join us then," Soubi had said, his mood lightening. "Ritsuka likes you, although I have yet to understand why."

Two hours later, Soubi had stood in front of Ritsuka's school, waiting for classes to end. Nearly thirty minutes passed, but Ritsuka had still not emerged from the school. Yuiko and Yayoi had already left, saying that they had looked for Ritsuka, but that he had received a phone call and had told them he would meet up with them later.

_A phone call?_ Soubi had thought, frowning and walking quickly into the schoolyard, _from whom?_

Soubi hadn't been surprised to find Ritsuka in the library, but the shock of seeing Ritsuka in Seimei's arms had nearly taken his breath away. As Soubi walked in, Seimei had turned his head just slightly and smiled at him. Seimei's meaning had been clear: _He is mine._

"Ritsuka."

"Leave, Soubi," Seimei had said, his voice soft, despite the implied command.

"Ritsuka," Soubi had repeated, walking closer and trying to see Ritsuka's face. He noticed the librarian, lying on the floor nearby, apparently asleep.

"Soubi." Ritsuka's voice, muffled, pathetic.

"He's fine, Soubi," Seimei had said, coolly. "He just needs some time to think. He has an important choice to make."

"Ritsuka?"

"I'm fine, Soubi," the tiny voice had replied.

"What choice, Seimei?" Soubi had asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

Seimei had laughed softly. "Don't mess with me, Soubi," he had said. "You know the choice he must make."

"You want him to leave with you?"

"Did you think he would stay here with _you_?" Seimei had said, as if speaking to a particularly dull child. "You were always naïve, Soubi."

"Ritsuka," Soubi had said, ignoring Seimei now, "he's dangerous. You saw what he did to Ritsu."

Ritsuka had turned to look at Soubi, tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyes pained, haunted. "Seimei," he had whispered. "Please, don't do this. Don't make me choose between you."

"I know you, Ritsuka," Seimei had replied, letting Ritsuka pull away from him. "We're the same, you and I. We belong together."

"You're nothing alike," Soubi had said, his blue eyes ablaze with anger.

"Stop," Ritsuka had moaned. "Please…Both of you…I can't…" His voice had trailed off and he had stepped away from Seimei, standing between the two men, clearly torn.

"Come with me, Ritsuka," Seimei had said, "or fight me, here and now."

"_Fight_ you?" Ritsuka looked so vulnerable and small standing there that Soubi had wanted to pick him up in his arms and hold him like a baby. "I can't fight you, Seimei. I love you."

"Then show me, Ritsuka," Seimei had demanded. "Show me you love me and leave with me. Leave this pathetic town. Leave _him_. Show me that you'll do anything for me, Ritsuka, or fight me."

"I forgive you, Seimei," Ritsuka had said, wiping his tears on his sleeve, "but what you've done…I can't just forget it."

Seimei's face had hardened.

"Leave," Soubi had said, his face pale under the fluorescent lights.

"I command _you_, Soubi," Seimei had answered coldly. "It's _not_ the other way around."

"You've hurt him enough, Seimei."

"I will fight you, Seimei," Ritsuka had said, softly. "If that's what you want."

"Ritsuka, no!" Soubi had nearly shouted. "You're not ready."

Seimei had smiled and looked at Soubi. "He's not ready because you aren't his fighter, Soubi. You are _mine._"

"I fight for Loveless," Soubi had replied, stubbornly, stepping in front of Ritsuka and facing Seimei.

"You've made a poor choice, little brother," Seimei had said, his eyes hard. He had turned and looked over to a tall stack of books. A young man with long, black hair stepped out from behind the bookcase, eyeing Soubi with pure hatred.

"Need some help, Seimei?" Nisei had asked, grinning.

"I doubt it," Seimei had replied.

Ritsuka had looked tentatively at Soubi.

"Who will you fight with, Ritsuka?" Seimei had asked.

"With Soubi, of course," Ritsuka had answered.

Seimei had laughed.

"Soubi?" Ritsuka, pleading for help.

"I …" Soubi had started to say.

"I order you not to fight, Soubi," Seimei had said, a look of triumph on his face. He had not raised his voice; he had simply spoken the words.

"Soubi!" Ritsuka had shouted.

Soubi had looked down.

"Soubi, you told me you would fight for me!" Ritsuka had shouted, looking at Soubi with a mixture of horror and sadness. Tears had begun to fall again down his cheeks.

"Ritsuka, I…"

"Soubi!" Ritsuka had yelled, interrupting. "You said you'd do anything for me. You told me you loved me."

"I do love you, Ritsuka," Soubi had said, his voice barely a whisper. "But…"

"But he is mine, Ritsuka," Seimei had said, cutting across Soubi. "I gave him my name. He cannot be anything but Beloved, and he knows it. It's written on his soul."

Nisei had laughed and shaken his head. "Shall we fight, then?"

"Seimei, please," Soubi had implored, his head still bent. "You know he cannot fight alone."

Seimei had walked over to Ritsuka. "Have you changed your mind then, Ritsuka? Knowing what Soubi is? Knowing that he will continue to betray you?"

"No!" Ritsuka had shouted. "Soubi never asked anything of me, and you've asked…you've asked too much. It doesn't matter. Kill me, if you'd like. I won't go with you."

Seimei had smiled at Ritsuka and then glanced back at Soubi, whose hands were now making tight fists at his sides. "You would let me kill him, Soubi? You, who love him so much?"

"I would die first," Soubi had answered, now visibly shaking. "Even if I cannot fight you, I will die for him."

"Let me do it, Seimei," Nisei had said, anticipation plain on his face. "Let me kill them both for you."

For a moment, Seimei had said nothing. Then, laughing softly, he had walked to the end of the stack of books and leaned casually against the library wall. "No," he had said, with visible enjoyment. "We'll let them live for now, at least. Soubi's already dead, anyhow. And Ritsuka," – he had paused for effect – "he's still young. Perhaps someday I will forgive him."

"But…," Nisei had protested.

"That's enough, Nisei," Seimei had said, looking at the Beloved fighter with narrowed eyes. "You take orders from me. It is not for you to decide this."

Seimei had turned and walked towards the library exit. Nisei had followed behind, looking irritated. When Seimei reached the doorway, he had looked back over his shoulder and said, "Goodbye, Ritsuka-kun."

Soubi and Ritsuka had watched Seimei and Nisei walk out of the library in silence. For several minutes, neither Soubi nor Ritsuka spoke, but Ritsuka's tears had continued to fall, unabated.

"Ritsuka," Soubi had said finally, walking over to Ritsuka and putting his hand on the boy's shoulder. "I'm…"

"Get away from me!" Ritsuka had shouted, pulling away from Soubi violently.

"Ritsuka. Please. I know you must hate me…"

"Damn you!" Ritsuka had shouted, his face contorted with anger. "It would be so much easier if I _could_ hate you!"

"I'm sorry, Ritsuka," Soubi had said. "I promised you so many things…"

"Please leave." Ritsuka was now sobbing openly.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

"No. You _don't_! You don't even understand what that means!"

The force of Ritsuka's words struck Soubi harder than any spell ever had. His hair now hung over his face. He was broken, dejected.

"I love you," Soubi had repeated, his voice barely audible.

"Leave, Soubi. Now." The tears had stopped. "I never want to see you again."

Soubi had not moved.

"You told me you would obey my orders," Ritsuka had retorted, angrily. "Fine. Then show me you really can."

"Ritsuka…"

"I never want to see you again," Ritsuka had repeated, this time with authority. "That's an order. Do you understand, Soubi? That is an _order_."

Soubi had taken a deep breath. "I understand," he had said, as he watched Ritsuka walk out of the library. "I will obey."

For eight long years, Soubi kept his word.

* * *

Soubi sighed deeply, the memory fading but the pain still gnawing at his heart. _"A blank slate is not empty," _Ritsu had told him on the day he had first met Seimei, _"it possesses unlimited potential."_

_Potential for what?_ Soubi wondered bitterly, stroking Ritsuka's hair gently as the train shook once more. _To hurt the one you love, over and over again?_

Ritsuka shifted slightly. "Soubi," he mumbled softly, half asleep and half awake. "I love you."

Soubi's eyes filled with tears.

* * *

**Author's Note****: I have to admit this chappie had me shedding more than a few tears to imagine what Ritsuka must have felt at both Seimei and Soubi's betrayals. And this wasn't the first time both men betrayed him. Still, Ritsuka never stopped loving either Seimei or Soubi. Oh, the wonderful angst of it all! ;-) Yep, I love angst. But I also love resolution. Absolution? Hope you enjoyed it! -Lex**


	6. The Name of the Game

Chapter Six: Name of the Game

"Ritsuka."

"Hmm?" he murmured sleepily, shifting slightly against the warmth of Soubi's chest.

"We have to go, Ritsuka," Soubi whispered. "We've got company. Police. They got on at the last station."

Ritsuka rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked around the car. There were several other passengers, tired businessmen most of them, sleeping. Soubi gestured to the door at the back, and he and Ritsuka quietly stole down the aisle. Glancing back, as they closed the door behind them and walked into the next and last car of the train, Ritsuka could see several plain-clothes detectives opening the door into the car where they had been.

The last car of the train was empty. Through the windowback door, Ritsuka could see the tracks and the faint lights from houses nearby. Soubi walked to the back and pulled on the handle of the door. It was locked.

"What are you thinking?" Ritsuka asked, concerned. "It's not like there's anywhere we can go from here."

"We have to get off the train, Ritsuka," said Soubi, glancing back over his shoulder.

"You can't seriously be thinking about jumping off a moving train, Soubi," Ritsuka said, growing more alarmed by the second.

"That's exactly what I'm thinking," came the calm reply.

"Look," Ritsuka protested, "I'm sure if we talk to them, explain that…"

"Explain that you were having a spell battle with a couple of punks and one of them knifed the other?" Soubi interrupted.

Ritsuka frowned, looked back at the approaching officers, then looked out the door again.

"You know how to do this," Soubi said. "You trained with Ritsu. This would have been the first thing he taught you – how to fall without hurting yourself."

"He didn't exactly make me try it out from a moving train," Ritsuka complained, sighing audibly.

"Watch me, Ritsuka," said Soubi. "I'll be waiting for you."

Ritsuka nodded, trying to ignore the sick feeling in his gut and the voice in his head that screamed at him not to try it.

Soubi raised his hand towards the door. "Release!" The door handle turned of its own accord, and the door flew open. The sound of the train on the tracks and the smell of the cool spring air made Ritsuka shudder inwardly.

"I'll be waiting for you, Ritsuka," Soubi said, smiling back at Ritsuka.

Ritsuka nodded again.

Soubi walked to the edge of the back platform and lifted his arms just slightly above waist-height. He took a deep breath and, tucking his head slightly, fell forward off the platform. A split second later, Ritsuka saw Soubi roll towards the side of the tracks. Soubi then stood up and began to run after the train.

Ritsuka gritted his teeth and thanked his lucky stars that they had not taken the bullet train. _It's only going about fifty miles an hour,_ he told himself, a thought which gave him little comfort.

Soubi was now barely visible on the tracks. _You have to do this now,_ he thought, _or you'll be miles apart when you jump. _He took a deep breath, imitating the same position as Soubi and, ignoring his pounding heart, fell forward off the platform.

He hit the ground hard on his right shoulder, narrowly missing the metal rail by inches. _Shit_, he thought, as he felt something in his arm pop. He rolled for several seconds, coming to a stop and hitting his head against the rail. He looked up at the starry night sky and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the intense pain in his arm.

He put his left arm on the ground and, pushing up on it, managed to stand up. He rubbed his head where he had hit the rail – there was a small bump there, but no major damage. His face was scraped and bloody, but none of the injuries were serious. His arm was a different story entirely; he was sure he had dislocated it, although he felt thankful that it wasn't broken.

_I have to get off the tracks and start walking back towards Soubi, _he thought, letting the arm dangle loosely at his side. _They'll be looking for us._

Fortunately, the right-of-way by the tracks was relatively flat and covered with rough gravel, which made walking easier. He walked through a small town, trying to stay hidden in the shadows at the edge of the tracks. About thirty minutes later, he spotted Soubi running towards him, a dark figure backlit by the lamps at the side of the track.

"Ritsuka," Soubi said as they met minutes later, looking quite pleased to see him. His expression, however, changed to one of concern when he saw Ritsuka's arm.

"Dislocated," Ritsuka offered, grimacing and feeling particularly inept.

"You did well, Ritsuka," said Soubi, smiling. "Let's get off the tracks and I'll take a look at it for you."

They climbed up a steep embankment to a dimly-lit street. Ritsuka, unable to use his arm for balance, stumbled several times but was rescued each time by Soubi, who moved cat-like, despite the angle of their ascent.

_He really is amazing,_ Ritsuka thought, watching Soubi. The futility of his quest to become a competent fighter seemed all the more clear to him. He would never rival Soubi's agility or his strength.

They found an empty warehouse not too far from the tracks. The windows were mostly missing, but the building was dry, relatively warm, and large enough that they could hide undetected for a least a few hours. Soubi helped Ritsuka down onto the floor, then dropped the small duffle bag he had been carrying on the ground and kneeled at Ritsuka's side. Ritsuka hadn't even noticed that Soubi had brought the bag with him.

"It's dislocated," Soubi said, after gently running his fingers over Ritsuka's arm and shoulder to assess the damage. "I need to get your arm back in the socket. It will hurt."

"Do it," Ritsuka said with a frown. He would not become a liability to them.

"Here," Soubi said, handing Ritsuka a rolled t-shirt from the bag. "You might want to bite down on this. It's better than biting your tongue."

Ritsuka took the t-shirt and put it between his teeth. He nodded to Soubi.

Soubi stretched Ritsuka's right arm out, parallel to the floor. Ritsuka winced. "This will only take a second, Ritsuka." Ritsuka closed his eyes.

Soubi pulled hard on Ritsuka's arm and, for a moment, the pain was so intense that Ritsuka thought he might pass out. A second later, the pain abated, and he pulled the t-shirt out of his mouth and sat there, panting, his heart pounding in his ears.

"Better?" Soubi asked.

"Yes," Ritsuka replied, with a sigh.

"It will hurt for a few days," Soubi explained, "but you'll be fine." He took a long-sleeved shirt from the bag and quickly fashioned a makeshift sling for Ritsuka's arm.

"Thanks," Ritsuka said, trying to smile but succeeding only in grimacing. He felt exhausted and his body ached all over.

Soubi pulled two sodas from the bag and sat down beside Ritsuka. "Thirsty?"

"Yeah," Ritsuka replied, "thanks."

Soubi opened one of the sodas and Ritsuka took it in his left hand, drinking greedily. Soubi drank his as well and, as he was drinking, Ritsuka noticed that the wrappings Soubi usually wore around his neck were gone, probably lost when Soubi jumped from the train. Ritsuka put down the empty can and instinctively reached to touch the scars. "Beloved," he whispered.

Soubi looked at him but said nothing.

"Ritsu told me that there are some fighters who have no names," Ritsuka said, his fingers still resting on Soubi's neck.

"Blank slates," Soubi replied. "Souls waiting to be named."

"Is it true, Soubi," Ritsuka ventured cautiously, "that once the name is written, it cannot be undone?"

"Yes," Soubi replied, unhesitatingly.

"I don't believe that," Ritsuka said, his fingers now lazily tracing the line of Soubi's jaw. "The Zero's partners can be changed."

"You saw the result of that," Soubi answered.

"They're still together - Koya and Yamato," Ritsuka said. "Did you know that?"

"No," replied Soubi, unmoved.

"Neither has their name on them, anymore, Soubi," Ritsuka offered.

"I have hurt you, Ritsuka," Soubi said.

"Dammit, Soubi," Ritsuka said, frowning, "this isn't about the past. It's about the future. _Our_ future."

"You're tired, Ritsuka," Soubi said, kindly. "You need to rest."

"Soubi," said Ritsuka sadly. "I wish…" His voice trailed off.

"What do you wish for, Ritsuka?"

"I want you to hold me, Soubi," said Ritsuka, his face now pressed against Soubi's, cheek to cheek. Soubi gently pulled Ritsuka closer to him, taking care not to touch Ritsuka's right arm or shoulder. Ritsuka closed his eyes and sighed. _Every time I do this for him, I feel as though I am the one who feels better,_ he thought, sadly.

Ritsuka pulled away slightly and looked into Soubi's eyes. "I love you, Soubi," he said. "You don't believe it yet though, do you?"

"Ritsuka, I told you that I don't deserve…"

"Kiss me, Soubi," Ritsuka said. "Let me prove it to you."

"You're in pain, Ritsuka," said Soubi. "Now's not the time…"

Ritsuka kissed Soubi gently on the cheek, his lips trailing down to meet Soubi's sweetly. "Do you love me, Soubi?" Ritsuka whispered, as their lips parted.

"Always," Soubi replied.

"Then please, Soubi," Ritsuka said, "let me love you back. Don't push me away."

"Command me, Ritsuka," Soubi answered, "and I will do anything for you."

Ritsuka froze. "No, Soubi," he whispered. "Never that."

Soubi balled up several shirts from the bag and laid them on the ground in a makeshift pillow. "You need to sleep, Ritsuka," he said, gently helping Ritsuka onto the ground on top of his jacket. Ritsuka closed his eyes as Soubi lay down next to him.

"Soubi," Ritsuka said, supremely conscious of the other man's body touching his, "when you're ready, I'll be waiting. But it has to be _your_ choice. I won't order you. Not about that. _Never._"

Ritsuka felt Soubi's hand gently brush his cheek and he breathed deeply. "Sleep, Ritsuka-kun."

* * *

**Eight years before:**

"Soubi-kun, when they told me you wanted to see me, I…"

The park was deserted. The sun had set, and the lights around them had begun to turn on. A cold breeze blew through the trees, rattling in the leafless branches.

"Sit back down, Ritsu," Soubi interrupted coldly, noting the dark limousine parked nearby and the young man sitting inside, watching them both intently – a fighter, no doubt sent by Nagisa to make sure no harm came to Ritsu.

Ritsu felt behind him with his cane and sat on the concrete bench. "I come all the way to see you and that's the welcome I get?" Ritsu asked, unfazed. "No kiss for your old teacher? Not even a hug?"

Soubi's face darkened, but he did not take the bait, instead sitting down next to Ritsu, careful to keep several inches of distance between them on the bench.

"Ritsuka has ordered me to stay away from him," Soubi said, after a minute of silence.

"Indeed," Ritsu replied. "And you were hoping that I could persuade him…"

"No," Soubi answered, cutting across him angrily, "I have hurt him enough. I will obey him."

"Seimei showed up here, then?" Ritsu asked, clearly already knowing the answer. "I'm not surprised. I'm sure you weren't either."

Soubi said nothing.

"Let me guess…," Ritsu mused. "He ordered forced you to betray that child again, didn't he?"

Again, silence.

"Soubi-kun," Ritsu said, his voice now suddenly serious, "you knew this would happen."

"I didn't ask you to come here for a lecture," Soubi replied, taking a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it.

"It must have gone badly," Ritsu said, waving his hand in front of his face to disperse the smoke. "I thought you had stopped smoking."

"He ordered me never to see him again."

"I see," Ritsu answered.

"I have every intention of obeying that command."

"Indeed. Quite an unfortunate time to start obeying him, isn't it?" Ritsu observed.

Soubi gritted his teeth, glad for once that Ritsu could not see the murderous look on his face. _Why did I even bother? _Soubi thought angrily. _It's not as if it wasn't expected…_

"So, Soubi-kun," Ritsu said, shifting slightly and turning his head to face Soubi. Despite his blindness, Soubi felt as though Ritsu's eyes could see right through his heart. "You clearly didn't ask me here to tell me you wanted to come back to Seven Moons. Can I assume, then, that there is something you want from me?"

Soubi frowned. "Yes," he answered, fighting his discomfort at being put in a position of asking Minami Ritsu for anything. "Two things."

"_Two_?" Ritsu mused. "My, my, you're quite the demanding student, aren't you?" Soubi stood up crossly. "I'm sorry, Soubi-kun," Ritsu said, clearly having sensed Soubi's anger, "I am listening."

"I want you to protect him for me."

"You have reason to believe Ritsuka is in danger?" Ritsu asked.

"No," Soubi replied. "I don't think Seimei will bother him for now , but he may seek out Seimei later. I cannot watch over him as I did before. "

"I will see to it that he is safe," Ritsu said, quite sincerely. "I will let you know if Seimei approaches him again."

"Thank you," Soubi said, quite uncomfortable that he might be beholden to Ritsu for anything. Still, it was well worth the price to keep Ritsuka safe.

"What is your second request?" Ritsu ventured, as Soubi sat down once more. Soubi frowned and took a deep breath, his feet shifting slightly on the gravel beneath the bench.

"I want to know more about the Aoyagi's," he said, quite sure that Ritsu would not comply this time.

"I'm surprised you waited so long to ask me," Ritsu said simply.

"You'll tell me?" Soubi asked, surprised.

"Of course," Ritsu replied. "I would have told you about them when I first gave you to Seimei years ago, if you had asked. What is it you wish to know, Soubi?"

"You told me once that they were from the Seven Houses," Soubi said, slightly taken aback at Ritsu's response.

"Yes," Ritsu replied. "One of the seven great families that founded Seven Voices, nearly three centuries ago. Royalty, as it were."

"Royalty?"

"Oh, yes," Ritsu replied. "The original spell masters. They defended the Emperor himself from those who sought to overthrow his rule. Of course, over the years the number of fighters increased as more joined the ranks, and the bloodlines were diluted. The Aoyagi's, however, rarely married outside of their family. The result, as you may have noticed, is that they are far less stable a bloodline than would be desirable."

An image of Ritsuka, battered and bruised, came unbidden into Soubi's mind.

"But you knew some of this story already, didn't you, Soubi-kun?" Ritsu asked.

"Yes," he said, "although I had never thought of them as 'royalty'."

"I'm not surprised. By the time you were a student at Seven Voices, the memory of the original bloodlines was not much more than a relic of our past," Ritsu explained. "And yet the most powerful fighters and sacrifices still come from those bloodlines. The ancient blood runs in your veins, as well. Your mother was from the Yamamoto bloodline, another of the original Seven Houses."

Ritsu paused for a moment, then continued, "But you haven't yet asked me what you've been waiting to ask me, have you, Soubi-kun?"

"You're still as condescending as you always were, Ritsu," Soubi responded, evenly.

Ritsu smiled, but said nothing.

"You told me that Seimei chose _me_," Soubi said, finally, losing his patience.

"Yes," Ritsu said, "he did choose you."

"I don't understand," Soubi said, frowning. "He must have known there was another fighter with the name 'Beloved'."

"I'm quite sure he did," Ritsu answered. "I believe he already knew who Nisei was when he was paired with you, although I didn't know it at the time."

"Then why…" Soubi's voice trailed off as understanding came.

"You've figured it out, haven't you, Soubi?" Ritsu asked, looking quite pleased now.

"He wanted _both_ of us," Soubi said, dully.

"That and," Ritsu paused for effect, "perhaps more."

"More?"

"You must have wondered why Seimei came back for Ritsuka, Soubi-kun," said Ritsu.

"I…," Soubi began, a growing look of horror on his face.

"I see you finally understand," Ritsu said, somberly.

"But Ritsuka has a name," Soubi protested.

"Yes," Ritsu replied. "But have you ever seen his name on his body, Soubi?"

"No, but I haven't looked, either," he replied, indignantly.

Ritsu laughed. "I didn't mean to imply anything impure about your relationship," he said, smiling, "although I hardly think your feelings towards him are chaste. Still, even you had seen him naked, you would not have seen his name. It would have been the same with Seimei. None of the Aoyagi family's names ever appear on their bodies.

"Seimei wanted _both _of us to fight for him," Soubi said, feeling quite uncomfortable now.

"Seimei would wish as many people to fight for him as he could, Soubi-kun," Ritsu replied.

"Why?"

"That is one question I cannot answer, Soubi-kun," replied Ritsu. "But you can count on him contacting Ritsuka again. He will wait until the time is right, Soubi, until Ritsuka has the strength he needs. And Ritsuka, like you, will be unable to resist."

* * *

**Author's Note: A bit of explanation of Seimei's motives and some background to fill out what we know from Volume 8 regarding the Aoyagi's. It's always bothered me that we know so little about why the fighting pairs fight at all, so I've used my own imagination to guess. But who is the enemy? Just Seimei? Or are there others that would seek power and throw away the old traditions of Seven Voices?**

**And, maybe more importantly for Soubi and Ristuka, what is in a name? We know that Ritsuka has never seen the name "Loveless" on his body, and obviously the only name on Soubi's body is the one Seimei carved into his neck with a knife (*cringes*). All throughout the manga and the anime, fighter pairs talk about the fact that Soubi and Ritsuka don't share a name, and it makes them weaker. But Ritsu, in the last volume, seems to imply that Soubi is far stronger because he is a "blank slate," as Ritsu puts it. Names, or lack thereof, will play a very important part in this story, as you can probably already see.  
**

**Hope you enjoyed the update! Thanks to everyone who favorited or reviewed. -Lex**


	7. Win or Lose

Chapter Seven: Win or Lose

They set off early the next morning, Soubi buying them breakfast at a small convenience store which they ate in a park at the edge of town. Despite the continual, gnawing ache of his injured arm, Ritsuka had slept peacefully at Soubi's side, a testament to how Soubi could ease Ritsuka's pain unlike anyone else.

"We're only about three hours from downtown Tokyo by bus," Soubi told Ritsuka as he nibbled gracefully on a rice ball and smiled warmly at Ritsuka. "I suggest we ride the local buses – it'll take longer, but we'll be less visible."

Four hours later, they had checked into a small hotel in Shinjuku – a tiny room with a single bed and communal bathroom, where they would blend in with the thousands of other tourists. Although Ritsuka's apartment was only about thirty-five minutes from downtown, they both knew it was too risky to stay there.

Ritsuka, knowing that his phone might be traced by either the police or Septimal Moon, had picked up a new phone near Shinjuku Station. "Youji and Natsuo are going to meet us tonight in Ueno Park," he told Soubi, reading a text message. "I've asked them to get me some information about Seimei."

"You intend to look for Seimei?" asked Soubi.

"Don't tell me you hadn't figured _that_ out, Soubi," Ritsuka said, shaking his head and laughing softly.

Soubi smiled coyly, but said nothing.

"I need to see him, Soubi," Ritsuka said, solemnly.

"And what will you accomplish by seeing him?" Soubi asked, pushing an errant strand of blond hair from his eyes.

"I have some questions I need to ask him," answered Ritsuka, thoroughly enjoying the look of curiosity on Soubi's face. "Some things I need to understand."

"And what then?" Soubi prompted, leaning his chin on his hand and looking up from the bed as Ritsuka pulled a clean shirt over his head, gingerly putting his right arm through the sleeve.

"I suppose I'll have to fight him," Ritsuka replied, evenly. A flicker of something like pain flashed through Soubi's eyes. _You knew this wouldn't be easy, _he thought.

"Why are you doing this, Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, studying Ritsuka's expression.

"There are many reasons, Soubi," Ritsuka replied. "I'm sure you can guess."

"He is dangerous, Ritsuka," Soubi said, softly.

"That's why I have _you_, Soubi," Ritsuka answered, knowing how his words cut Soubi. Soubi's response was to pull a cigarette from his pocket and light it. Ritsuka said nothing.

"This is a test, then," Soubi replied, taking a drag from the cigarette and watching Ritsuka carefully. "Of me."

"Is it?" Ritsuka answered coolly. "I guess so."

"I am yours, Ritsuka," Soubi replied, the flicker of fear in his eyes belying his confidence.

"I know, Soubi," Ritsuka replied, smiling at Soubi. _I know.

* * *

_

Ueno Park was filled with people on the late spring afternoon. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom; petals fell like pink snow over the grass. Scattered about were large groups of people celebrating the cherry blossoms. Now and again children ran by or rode their bicycles as their parents struggled to keep pace.

They walked at a comfortable pace, although Soubi kept glancing around as if expecting something similar to what had happened in Kyoto. Ritsuka, for once, felt focused and relaxed. He welcomed what was to come; he had planned this for more than two years and, despite the voice in his head telling him he was overconfident, he felt prepared. He had never been a particularly patient person. Still, at the back of his mind, he knew he had a choice of his own to make – the deadline fast approaching as the last few weeks of his break from school would soon be over.

_I don't want to go home without Soubi,_ he thought, fervently. _I don't want to leave him behind again._

"What are you studying in school?" Soubi asked, rather nonchalantly, as if he had read Ritsuka's mind.

"I actually haven't decided," Ritsuka responded, slightly apologetically. "I've been taking psychology classes. But I've also been thinking about becoming a lawyer."

At this Soubi stopped walking and turned to smile at Ritsuka. "Interesting," he said. "So I can go to you for counseling or, when I get myself into trouble, you can save me. Either way, it seems I'm in good hands." Ritsuka looked slightly uncomfortable at how close Soubi had come to guessing Ritsuka's true motives, but Soubi did not appear to notice.

They arrived at Shinobazu Pond a half-hour later. "We're meeting Youji and Natsuo here," Ritsuka announced, "at the Temple." He gestured towards the Temple of Benten, which sat in the middle of the pond, some distance away. "They should be here in about an hour."

They strolled slowly around the pond, taking the small footbridge across to the temple, a graceful structure with a traditional multi-tiered roof. The area in the center of the pond was planted with more flowering trees and shrubs, and the air was filled with fragrance. In the water, lotus flowers had begun to open and, from time to time fish nibbled at the edges of the wide green leaves, looking for bits of food. Butterflies soared from flower to flower, looking for nectar.

The inside of the temple was quiet and cool. Ritsuka sat down on a small bench and shut his eyes, silently trying to will away the constant ache in his right shoulder using one of the techniques Ritsu had taught him. Soubi wandered around the empty shrine, studying the architecture, listening to the sounds of birds outside.

Ritsuka felt a familiar coldness and shivered involuntarily. _A Sentokou…here?_ It wasn't Zero – he was sure of it. He stood up and looked around.

"Ritsuka?"

"You felt it, too? The fighter?"

Soubi frowned. "We should leave, Ritsuka," he said, looking concerned.

"You know this fighter, don't you, Soubi?" Ritsuka asked, growing alarmed at the expression on Soubi's face.

"Of course he knows me," came a cool voice from the next room. "I'm surprised you didn't recognize me as well."

"Nisei," said Ritsuka, feeling his heart pound hard in his chest.

"He's not alone," Soubi added darkly.

"Seimei," Ritsuka whispered.

"Hello, Ritsuka," said Seimei, walking into the large room where Soubi and Ritsuka stood. Nisei stood behind Seimei, clearly relishing having surprised the two.

"Why are you here, Seimei?" Ritsuka asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. He had wanted to find Seimei, but he had not expected Seimei to find _him_. He had hoped to have more time with Soubi before the inevitable confrontation.

_How did he find me?_ Ritsuka wondered vaguely.

"I'm here to finish what we started eight years ago, little brother," Seimei replied, glancing briefly at Soubi, then fixing his eyes on Ritsuka.

"I already gave you my answer, Seimei," Ritsuka said. "I haven't changed my mind."

Seimei was taller than Ritsuka remembered and, although he still wore his dark hair to the shoulders, Ritsuka noticed that he no longer had ears. His face seemed older, too. There were small lines around and dark circles under Seimei's eyes – eyes that seemed to harbor no love for his brother.

"I am disappointed, Ritsuka," Seimei said evenly, "but I am not surprised. You always were quite stubborn. I am, however, surprised that you still tolerate _him_," he added, glancing once more at Soubi.

"Leave Soubi out of this, Seimei," Ritsuka said, his eyes slightly narrowed. "This is between the two of us."

Seimei laughed. "Do you really believe that, little brother?" he asked, at which Nisei grinned. "You are still naïve." Seimei nodded to Nisei.

"I declare a battle by wordspell," said Nisei, his grin widening.

"Ritsuka, _no_!" shouted Soubi, as if awakening from a trance. "There's nothing to be gained from…"

"I accept," Ritsuka replied, cutting across Soubi and stepping forward.

"My, my," said Seimei, "you're quite confident, aren't you? But nothing has changed, Ritsuka. Soubi is still the same. He will not ignore my commands. Will you, Soubi?"

Ritsuka did not even look at Soubi. "If he chooses to fight with me, so be it," Ritsuka replied, determinedly. "If not, I am prepared to fight you myself."

"Ritsuka," Soubi said, "you cannot fight him by yourself."

Ritsuka said nothing, but continued to look at Seimei, his face hard, his eyes focused.

"Soubi," said Seimei, his voice light, easy. "You will not fight for anyone but me."

"Seimei," Soubi retorted, "you've hurt him enough. You who said you love him above all others. You…"

"Silence, Soubi," Seimei interrupted, in a voice that reminded Ritsuka of a man correcting a disobedient dog. "If you cannot fight for him, then you are welcome to watch."

Soubi looked at Ritsuka, who took a deep breath but did not look back at Soubi. _You knew this would happen. This is necessary – for him and for you_, he thought.

"It's alright, Soubi," Ritsuka said calmly, taking the sling off his arm and tossing it aside. "This has nothing to do with you. This is something I must do for myself. I never expected you to fight Seimei."

Soubi's face looked pained, but he remained silent. Ritsuka guessed at the internal battle waged behind those cool blue eyes.

"I won't leave you, Ritsuka," said Soubi. Still, he did not take his position by Ritsuka's side. Seimei laughed, but did not speak, instead nodding to Nisei.

The walls of the temple took on a pinkish hue, and the light that filtered in through the windows looked like the color of blood. Ritsuka immediately felt a change in the atmosphere. The air felt oppressive, thick. Dark.

"Heaviness replaces light, hope is lost beneath darkness." intoned Nisei, throwing his hand out towards Ritsuka. "Bind!"

"Deflect!" shouted Ritsuka, the spell missing him by a hairsbreadth. "Awaken promise, alight the moon!" Rays of pure white light flew from Ritsuka's fingers towards Seimei.

"Envelop and disperse!" Nisei parried, waving the white light away with barely the flick of a finger.

_This isn't about winning, _Ritsuka reminded himself. _All I need to do is survive. He won't kill me._ This last thought was more to assuage his own fear than anything else, but it was the only thing that made any sense to him at all. Seimei _wanted_ him – for what, however, he did not understand.

"I'm impressed, little brother," said Seimei, looking pleased, "you have learned far more than I thought possible. But this is pointless. You cannot defeat a Sentokou as powerful as Nisei. Admit that you cannot win this and come with me."

"Why do you want me so much, Seimei?" asked Ritsuka, his face wet with tears. "I have already given you my love and my forgiveness. Why must you destroy Soubi?"

"I don't need to destroy Soubi," Seimei replied, coldly. "He has already taken it upon himself to do the job for me. He's nothing but an empty shell of a man, a vessel that can no longer hold water."

"You're wrong, Seimei," said Ritsuka, steeling himself against what he knew would come next. "His soul is good and kind."

Seimei laughed. "Good? Kind? Did he tell you how he killed for me? How he tortured others for me?"

Ritsuka did not reply, but felt slightly sick at the thought. Nothing Seimei said surprised him, but hearing it from Seimei's mouth made it feel all the more real. Ritsuka looked to Soubi, but Soubi's head was down and he stood unmoving, like a statue.

"Cutting blades, fly free and seek unblemished flesh!" shouted Nisei.

The attack struck Ritsuka on the right shoulder and he heard someone scream. No, not someone – he heard _himself_ scream in pain, as if listening from afar. His right hand was now bound with chains, and he struggled to stay on his feet. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Soubi move slightly, as if fighting against invisible restraints.

"Light beneath the waters, rise up and push aside the black," Ritsuka said, struggling through the pain in his arm. "Open the gates and return from whence you have come!"

More light filled the room – warm and inviting. For a moment, Ritsuka felt the pain in his arm lessen slightly.

"Stifle all joy, collapse the air around. Bind!" shouted Nisei, triumphantly.

Ritsuka staggered backwards and fell to his knees, both arms now bound with chains. He gasped for air, his arm hurting far more than when Soubi had pulled it the day before.

_I may have miscalculated,_ was Ritsuka's only thought, as the world around him began to spin. A small, light-blue butterfly alighted by the open window. _Soubi!_

"Slice through skin and bone, wound the heart!" chanted Nisei, a gleam of pleasure in his cold eyes.

Ritsuka screamed once more as the spell hit him squarely in the chest. The pain was worse than anything Ritsuka had ever felt before and he grabbed at his chest. He felt something warm and wet under his hands. _My blood?_ he mused, as if watching the scene from a great distance.

"Stop this, Seimei!" shouted Soubi. "You've won."

Seimei nodded to Nisei once again, and Ritsuka felt the weight of another attack hit him. Powerless to defend, he collapsed onto the ground, moaning.

"Seimei!" Soubi yelled, this time standing in front of Ritsuka and facing Nisei, his hands by his side.

"And I thought you would just let him die," Seimei said, eyeing Soubi with contempt.

"Soubi," Ritsuka whispered.

"Will you fight me, then, Soubi?" asked Seimei with a smirk.

"I will not let you hurt him anymore," Soubi replied, avoiding the question.

Nisei raised his hand and pointed it at Soubi. Soubi did not move.

"Knives of steel, cut to the soul. Bind!"

"Useless!" shouted Soubi, lifting a shaking hand. "You will not touch him!" The attack dispersed as it reached Soubi's hand. "Water fall like petals on fire, extinguishing strength," Soubi said, his voice stronger now. "Attack!"

"Avoid!" Nisei replied, looking delighted to have an opponent worthy of his power. The spell split in two, traveling to either side of Seimei, leaving him untouched.

Seimei laughed openly now. "Well, well, well," he said, his voice full of derision, "you are not so weak, after all, are you, Soubi-kun?"

"End this, Seimei," hissed Soubi, his eyes now not more than slits. "This is not a fair fight."

"We will finish this another time, then," said Seimei, looking quite satisfied. "Perhaps there is more to you both than meets the eye."

Nisei glared at Seimei. "Again? You'll let them live?"

Seimei raised his head slightly, his chin angled high, studying Nisei with unbridled scorn. "This has never been about killing them," he said, simply, then turned to walk out of the room. Nisei blinked in confusion, but remained silent, instead turning and following Seimei out, his head slightly bent.

The world returned to normal.

"Ritsuka!" Soubi shouted, running over to the still figure on the floor and lifting Ritsuka's head. His face was covered in tiny cuts. Tiny lines of blood ran down his cheeks to his chin, pooling there and dripping onto the floor. His right arm was twisted at an unnatural angle; his body limp.

Soubi rolled Ritsuka gently onto his back. In the center of Ritsuka's chest was a deep wound which was bleeding profusely. Air hissed from the wound; it had punctured one of Ritsuka's lungs. "Ritsuka!"

Ritsuka's eyes fluttered open at the sound of his name and he looked up at Soubi, coughing up bright red blood. "Soubi," he whispered, smiling up into those cool blue eyes. "Soubi," he repeated, struggling to make a sound. "You…fought…for me."

The world went black.

* * *

**Author's Note****: Cliffie monster, as one my friends likes to put it (although definitely not as bad as some I've written)! I have a major love/hate relationship with cliffhangers. Love to write them, hate to be on the edge of my seat when I read them! Good news is that, at this rate, I'll finish this story in the next week. LOL. But seriously, I promise to update soon. If you enjoyed it, please review! And thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter. Take care. -Lex**


	8. Pain Runs Deep

**Author's Note: A quick update, as promised! I have been looking forward to writing this scene since chapter one, I think. It's not the end for either Soubi or Ritsuka - it is the beginning. BTW, I was joking that I'd finish the story next week! We probably have 4-5 chapters to go, still. I may continue the story beyond that (direct sequel, perhaps?) to resolve some of the issues about Septimal Moon and Seimei's motives, assuming enough readers are interested. Let me know your thoughts... **

**This chapter is written from Ritsuka's perspective, over the span of a week where he is mostly unconscious. It's meant to be a little disjointed, shifting between dream and vague awareness of reality until the end of the chapter. I've written in italics to show that Ritsuka is "out of it." Hope it's not too confusing! Enjoy!****-Lex **

Chapter Eight: Pain Runs Deep

_Voices came in a blur of light and sound, like a dream. Colors faded in and out, faces swam about his eyes. The sound of moaning could be heard amidst the voices - was that his own voice he had heard? He was drowning, the water swallowing him whole. He struggled to catch his breath._

"_Keep your hand pressed hard on his chest. Youji, get my bag out of the car. Soubi, get me a straw." A woman's voice, vaguely familiar._

"_A straw?"_

"_Dammit, Soubi, just get it! I'm sure one of the vendors has one."_

_Flashes of light, then excruciating pain and the feeling that he was suffocating. _

I can't breathe,_ he thought desperately._

"_There's a blade at the bottom of the bag. Soubi, hand me your lighter. "_

_The sound of a lighter clicking, followed by the smell of butane._

"_I need you to hold him still so I can re-inflate the lung. Give me the straw." A pause, then, "Ritsuka-kun! Ritsuka-kun, can you hear me? It's Nagisa. I'm going to have to cut you."_

_He struggled to respond, but no sound came from his lips._

"_Soubi," said Nagisa, her voice commanding, "put him to sleep."_

_He felt a gentle touch on his forehead, and the sounds and light vanished once more._

* * *

_He was no longer lying on a cold floor. He could see nothing, but he could feel the soft mattress beneath him. He tried to open his eyes, to focus on the sounds around him, but he was powerless to do so. _

"_He needs to go to a hospital." Ritsuka recognized the voice: Kio._

"_Nagisa-san is a doctor," came Soubi's voice, sounding as though it were underwater._

"_You're damn lucky I decided to tag along with the boys," Nagisa said, angrily. "He'd have been dead in a few more minutes. Punctured lung. Missed an artery by a millimeter. How the hell did you let this happen to your sacrifice, Soubi?"_

_There was silence followed by the sound of footsteps._

"_Soubi won't tell us anything, Nagisa-sensei." Natsuo's voice, this time. "We were supposed to meet them at the temple, and we found Soubi kneeling over Ritsuka-kun."_

"_It was Beloved," supplied Youji._

"_Grab me that needle," Nagisa ordered. Ritsuka felt slight pressure on his thigh, a pinprick, and a feeling of warmth which spread up his leg and to his chest and arms._

"_He fought alone," Soubi said, his voice almost a monotone._

"_Alone? How could you let him…?" Nagisa began angrily, then apparently thought better of it._

"_Soubi is Seimei's fighter," Youji said._

_Ritsuka felt his consciousness fade once more and blackness returned. Ritsuka dreamed…_

* * *

"_Seimei," Ritsuka whispered, holding his brother tightly. "Please, don't leave me."_

"_I'll never leave you," Seimei said, wrapping his arms about Ritsuka's tiny shoulders, pulling him closer. "You and I are one. We share the same heart, the same soul."_

"_Will you protect me?" Ritsuka asked, as Seimei ran his fingers through Ritsuka's dark hair, toying with one ear gently. Ritsuka shivered at the touch and closed his eyes._

"_Always," said Seimei. "But you must remain faithful to me alone, Ritsuka-kun. You must return my love."_

"_I love you, Seimei," Ritsuka murmured, "with all my heart, with all my soul, with my being."_

"_Will you fight for me, then, Ritsuka-kun?" Seimei asked, his voice soft and gentle, like a caress._

"_Of course I will fight for you, Seimei," Ritsuka replied. "You are my only brother, my protector. I will protect you, too."_

"_Then fight for me __now__," Seimei said, pulling away from Ritsuka, leaving him standing alone in an empty room that seemed to go on forever._

"_I will fight for you, Seimei," Ritsuka repeated, raising his hand to attack. "I will keep you safe."_

"_Then kill him, Ritsuka-kun. Show me you love me above all others. Show me the strength of your love!"_

_A silent figure stood before Ritsuka, faceless, frightening. Ritsuka uttered the incantation, sending the spell flying towards the enemy. But before the spell struck its target, the faceless figure was transformed: blond hair; ice-blue eyes._

"_Soubi?" shouted Ritsuka, horrified, as the attack hit Soubi in the chest and he crumpled to the ground. "Soubi, no! I didn't mean… I didn't want… Soubi, I love you!"_

_Ritsuka tried to scream, but no sound issued from his lips. He felt himself falling, drowning in tears._

"_Please," he pleaded silently, "please save me!"_

* * *

"How is he?"

"Better," Nagisa replied. "I want to move him to the school infirmary today."

"No," said Soubi. "Seimei knew we would be in Ueno. He'll know Ritsuka is at Seven Voices. It won't be safe there."

"He can stay here," Kio offered. "Tell us what to do. We can take care of him."

* * *

Soubi sat on the floor, his back against the wall, watching Ritsuka in the darkness. Instinctively, he reached for a cigarette in his shirt pocket, but stopped himself and took a deep breath. He stood up and walked silently over to the bed, rubbing his eyes. He sat down on the wooden stool at the bedside and looked down at Ritsuka's face. It was deathly pale. But for the rise and fall of Ritsuka's chest, he might have imagined…

"Ritsuka," he whispered. "I am sorry." He took Ritsuka's left hand in his. The skin was warm, reassuring. After a few minutes, he released Ritsuka's hand and brushed the dark hair out of Ritsuka's eyes.

_You put your faith in me, Ritsuka, and you almost died, _thought Soubi, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Need some help?" asked Kio, who had been sleeping on the floor nearby. "You haven't slept in days, Sou-chan. I can take over for a while."

"I'm fine," Soubi answered with irritation. "I won't abandon him again."

Kio laughed softly. "Sleeping isn't abandoning him," he said, putting a hand on Soubi's shoulder. "Besides, if what Youji and Natsuo told me is true, you saved his life."

"He's injured because I refused to fight for him," Soubi replied, dejectedly. "I could have protected him, but instead…"

"You really do like to wallow, don't you, Sou-chan?" Kio asked, shaking his head. "He knew what he was getting into. He wanted to be with you, Soubi."

Soubi said nothing.

"Have it your way, then," Kio said, with a yawn. "If you need to feel sorry for yourself, by all means, go ahead." He walked over to the kitchen and filled a glass of water from the tap.

"How do you know what he wanted, Kio?" Soubi asked, getting up from the stool and walking over to the kitchen.

"He told me, Soubi," Kio replied, turning around and glaring at Soubi. "He came here a few months ago, wanting to know where you were. Do you know that we wrote to each other by email over the past eight years? He said he wanted to know how I was doing, but he really wanted to know about _you_, Soubi. He asked about you. He was worried."

"He…wanted to know about me?" Soubi asked, hesitatingly.

"Yeah," replied Kio, sitting at the table and putting his feet up on the other chair. "Why does that surprise you?"

"No. I'm not surprised that…," began Soubi.

"Like hell you're not surprised," interrupted Kio, putting his glass down on the table with such force that water splashed about. "You figured he'd forgotten about you, didn't you? That was easier to handle than the truth, wasn't it? Because if you thought he cared about you – hell, you might actually be _happy_, right?"

Soubi looked down.

"You _want _to be miserable, Soubi," Kio said, with a sigh. "Face it. You don't believe you deserve happiness."

"You sound like a shrink," Soubi replied stonily.

"Whatever. It's true, and you know it."

Kio stood up and grabbed a towel from by the sink, mopping up the spilled water, not looking at Soubi.

"You know," Kio continued, "you say that you should stay away from him for his sake, but that's bullshit, Sou-chan."

Soubi raised an eyebrow and glared at Kio.

"Yeah, it _is_ bullshit. The kid is happy when he's with you. And don't tell me you haven't noticed it. If anyone should be miserable, it's _him_. His mother beat him, his brother faked his own death and tried to kill him…but when he's with you, he's happy. You're right - you damn well _don't_ deserve him."

"Shut up, Kio," Soubi replied, his blue eyes glittering angrily in the fluorescent light of the kitchen.

Kio scowled, threw the wet towel onto the counter and picked up his jacket from the back of the chair. "I'm going out," he said, walking past Soubi to the door. "Call me if you need me."

Soubi stood silently, watching as Kio slipped out of the apartment into the darkness, then turned back to the bed once more. He sat down again and took Ritsuka's hand in his. He closed his eyes, remembering the smile on Ritsuka's face as he lay on the floor of the temple.

"_You…fought…for me."_

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, as his eyes filled with tears.

* * *

Ritsuka opened his eyes, trying to focus on his surroundings. He tried to turn his head, but it began to pound and he quickly gave up. To his right, he saw the top of a head of sandy-blond hair – Soubi, asleep at the side of the bed. His hand felt warm. He smiled and squeezed the hand that held his, slightly surprised at the effort it took just to move his fingers.

_How long have I been unconscious? _he wondered as Soubi began to stir.

"Ritsuka?" Soubi whispered, looking up into Ritsuka's open eyes, a look of wonder and relief on his face.

Ritsuka smiled again and closed his eyes with the effort. _Damn,_ he thought. _I really got beaten up. _His chest hurt where Nisei's spell had hit him; he vaguely remembered Nagisa saying something about having to cut him.

"Soubi," he whispered hoarsely, his throat parched. He forced his eyes back open.

"Here," Soubi said softly, "have something to drink." He gently lifted Ritsuka up from the pillows and tipped a glass to his lips. The water felt cool on his throat.

"Thanks," he said, as Soubi put the glass down and helped him back once more. "How long?"

"Almost a week," Soubi replied, now sitting so Ritsuka could see his face.

"You look lousy," Ritsuka whispered, trying to laugh but stopping abruptly at the pain in his chest.

"You look worse," said Soubi, with a half-hearted smile. His face was unshaven and there were dark circles under his eyes. He looked exhausted.

Ritsuka reached for Soubi's hand, closing his eyes once more. An image of Soubi, standing in front of him, hand raised to Nisei's spell, passed through his mind. "Thanks," said Ritsuka, taking a deep breath.

"For what?" Soubi asked, taken aback.

"For staying here with me," Ritsuka replied, "and fighting for me." Tears fell from the corners of his now-closed eyes. _Soubi,_ he thought, _I knew you would fight for me._

Soubi's hand stiffened in his, but Ritsuka did not let go.

"More water?" Soubi asked.

"Yes," said Ritsuka, this time drinking longer. Soubi reached over and brushed away Ritsuka's tears.

"Are you in pain?" Soubi asked, apparently mistaking Ritsuka's tears.

"No," Ritsuka lied. He didn't care that his body ached from head to toe. The realization of what had happened back in the temple left him with a feeling of euphoria.

Soubi gave Ritsuka another sip of water, his eyes never leaving Ritsuka's face.

"I am sorry, Ritsuka," Soubi said softly, his eyes wide with emotion. "I betrayed you…"

"No," Ritsuka interrupted, his voice now far stronger than before. "You didn't betray me, Soubi. You fought for _me._You defied Seimei's orders and defended me."

"But I let you…"

"You are _my _Sentokou, Soubi," Ritsuka said, cutting across Soubi. This time, Soubi did not respond, although he looked away from Ritsuka, his face full of shame.

"Look at me, Soubi," Ritsuka ordered, swallowing hard and ignoring the pain that threatened to overwhelm him. Soubi did not comply. "Soubi, dammit," Ritsuka said, his voice now strong. "Look at me!"

Soubi turned slowly, and Ritsuka could see why Soubi had turned away: his eyes were full of tears.

"Soubi," Ritsuka said, gently, reaching out his hand and touching the scars on Soubi's neck, "your soul is not bound to Beloved. Don't you see? You're free, Soubi. You're free to choose again. Your soul is your own."

Soubi frowned, but the tears fell across his cheeks all the same.

"Soubi," said Ritsuka, smiling through his own tears. "I love you. My soul is yours. Who will _you _choose?"


	9. At a Loss

**Author's Note****: Time to shake things up a bit – can't have our boys getting too comfortable, at least not quite yet. XD Hope you enjoy the longer chapter! -Lex **

Chapter Nine: At a Loss

**Twenty-four years before:**

"Soubi-kun? Soubi-kun, where are you?"

A tiny face poked out from between the door and the wall. A fit of giggles, then a small voice, "You couldn't find me, could you, Mama?"

The blonde-haired woman smiled, crouched down and picked up the small boy, covering him with kisses. "You've gotten very good at hiding, haven't you, Soubi-kun?"

Soubi laughed as his mother put him down again. "Can we go to the park, Mama?" he asked, his eyes wide with excitement.

"I can't right now, little one," his mother said, sadly. "I have to go somewhere. Daddy's downstairs making you dinner."

"Will you be back to tuck me in?" Soubi asked, looking disappointed.

"I don't think so," his mother replied, straightening his hair, which was now sticking out in a dozen different directions. "But I promise I'll come and give you a kiss when I do get home, alright?"

"Are you going with that man again, Mama?" Soubi asked, looking concerned.

"Minami-san? Yes, sweetheart."

"I don't like him," Soubi said, hands now on his hips, scowling. "He's weird."

Soubi's mother laughed. "Yes," she said, smiling at her son, "I suppose he is a little bit strange."

"He wants to take you away from me," Soubi said, pouting now. "He doesn't like Daddy, either."

"Minami-san likes you just fine, Soubi-kun," his mother replied, leaning down and giving Soubi a kiss on the cheek. "He's just isn't used to children, so he doesn't know how to talk to you."

"He's stupid," Soubi said, stomping his foot for emphasis. "I don't want him around you."

"Soubi-kun," said his mother, standing up straight now and frowning slightly, "Minami-san is a good man. Now go on downstairs and help your father set the table for dinner, alright?"

Soubi screwed up his face, but turned to walk downstairs despite his frustration. His mother put her hand on his head, gently rubbing his right ear. "I love you, Soubi-kun! Don't you forget that." Soubi frowned, then ran down the stairs and headed for the kitchen.

"Don't forget to kiss me goodnight, Mama!" he shouted from the bottom of the steps. His mother smiled.

But there would be no goodnight kisses that night, or any other after. That was the last night Soubi saw either of his parents alive.

* * *

**The Present:**

"Soubi?"

"Hmm?" Soubi replied, gently stroking Ritsuka's hair. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed, Ritsuka's head in his lap.

"I want to go to Seven Voices."

"You're not ready yet," Soubi replied, glancing at the bandages on Ritsuka's chest as he spoke. "Nagisa-san wants you to wait another few days before you leave the apartment."

Ritsuka frowned. "I need to go there, Soubi. Septimal Moon was part of that place. I need to understand…"

"You need to _rest_, Ritsuka-kun," Soubi said, interrupting.

Ritsuka closed his eyes again, giving in to the sensual feeling of Soubi's fingers as they twirled strands of black about in a mesmerizing circular pattern. _God, Soubi,_ Ritsuka thought, fighting the feeling of hunger for more than just Soubi's touch, _how could I not have realized it before?_

"Ritsuka?"

"Yes?"

"When did you decide to tattoo my name on your arm?"

Ritsuka hesitated. _Why do I always feel as though __he__ is the strong one, and I'm just a child?_

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Soubi said, when Ritsuka did not respond.

"It's alright, Soubi," Ritsuka said, realizing that his mind was wandering again, "I don't mind telling you." He paused, reaching up and putting his hand on Soubi's wrist to stop him from rubbing his head; he couldn't think straight anymore, not with Soubi's continued touch. It was almost more than he could bear.

"To be honest," Ritsuka continued, taking a deep breath and willing his body back under control, "I thought about it even before Seimei's return, eight years ago."

Soubi's eyes widened with surprise.

"You didn't expect to hear that, did you?" Ritsuka asked, turning around now so that he was looking directly up at Soubi.

"No," Soubi answered, clearly moved. "But what if I had refused you? If I had told you I would not fight for you?"

"I knew you'd say 'yes'," came the determined reply. "You are _my_ fighter, Soubi. I am _your_ sacrifice. It was meant to be that way. I knew it then and I'm sure of it now."

Soubi smiled and reached down to kiss Ritsuka. "You asked me a few days ago who I would choose," Soubi whispered. "I have chosen _you,_ Ritsuka."

"And what about Beloved?" Ritsuka asked, reaching up and touching Soubi's neck.

Soubi's eyes looked pained. "It is difficult for me to forget," he answered carefully. "When I see him…"

"Will you obey him again?" Ritsuka pressed.

"No," Soubi replied adamantly. "He is no longer my master. _You_ are."

Ritsuka sighed. "I don't want to be your master, Soubi," he said. "I want more than that." _I want to be your friend, your brother, your partner, your lover,_ thought Ritsuka silently, his head spinning.

"I am what I am, Ritsuka," said Soubi, gently putting a pillow beneath Ritsuka's head and standing up. Instinctively, he reached in his pants pocket for a cigarette, then stopped, realizing that he had none left; he had thrown them all away after Ritsuka had been injured.

_You are so much more than what you believe you are, Soubi. But I will be patient. I'll wait for you._

"Hungry?" Soubi offered, walking to the kitchen.

"Starving," Ritsuka replied honestly. "But I always am when you're cooking, you know."

Soubi smiled and turned his back to Ritsuka, pulling out various dishes and ingredients from the cupboards. Ritsuka stood up slowly, his chest aching dully, and he walked over to the kitchen.

"You're not supposed to be out of bed," Soubi said, his back still to Ritsuka.

Ritsuka wrapped his arms around Soubi's chest and leaned his face on Soubi's back. "I never stopped loving you, Soubi," he said. "I never stopped thinking of you. I'm happy when I'm with you."

Kio walked through the front door and Ritsuka turned to smile at him.

"I see I can't leave you two unchaperoned," he quipped, winking at Ritsuka.

"Ritsuka is going to rest on the couch until I'm done cooking," said Soubi, taking Ritsuka by the hand and leading him back to the living area. "Lunch in about a half hour," he announced, at which Kio grinned broadly.

"You're the best, Sou-chan," Kio said, picking up a sketch pad and a pencil and starting to sketch Ritsuka.

"I'm not cooking for _you_," Soubi replied with a slight smirk.

Kio sighed dramatically and shook his head. "Works the same for me, though," he quipped, winking at Ritsuka again, who laughed softly.

Soubi put a pot of water up to boil and set down to the task of chopping vegetables - bok choy, mushrooms, carrots and onions. After several minutes, he let his mind wander back to the battle with Seimei and Nisei, analyzing it for the hundredth time. It wouldn't be long until Seimei returned; he was sure of it. They would both need to train. He sighed wistfully. He wouldn't be able to put Ritsuka off for much longer; they would both need Ritsu's help, much as it pained him to admit it.

Soubi's phone vibrated in his pocket, bringing his focus back to the onion he had been chopping. He glanced quickly at Ritsuka, who was now sound asleep on the couch. "Kio," he whispered, putting his hand on Kio's shoulder. "Keep an eye on him for me."

Kio nodded and Soubi stepped out onto the outside landing, tapping the phone lightly with a finger.

"Hello?"

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Soubi was headed down the street towards the subway and downtown Tokyo, having left Kio in charge of the soup simmering on the stove. It was early afternoon, and the streets were crowded with people. The cold spring weather had begun to turn warmer; hints of summer were in the air. Ritsuka had still been asleep when he had left the apartment; with a little luck, he'd be back before Ritsuka awakened.

He reached Shinjuku station a short while later. He walked purposefully to the end of the plat form of Track 6. There was no one around.

_Funny,_ Soubi thought, as he walked around, _Youji said he'd be waiting for me here._

"Agatsuma Soubi?"

"Hmm?" Soubi turned around. "Where is Youj…?"

Something hard hit Soubi from behind his head, and he fell with a thud to the concrete platform. A hand touched his forehead and the world around him disappeared.

_Ritsuka!_

* * *

Ritsuka woke with a start. Had he heard Soubi's voice?

"Hey, sleepy-kun," laughed Kio. "I was wondering if you'd sleep the entire day away."

Ritsuka yawned and stretched. _Soubi was right,_ he thought with a slight smile, _I __was__ tired. _He rubbed his eyes, deciding that he must have dreamed about Soubi.

"Sorry," Ritsuka replied, "I said I'd sit still for your sketch."

"I hadn't meant for you to be quite _that_ still," Kio said, grinning. He picked up his sketch pad and showed it to Ritsuka. It was a sketch of Ritsuka, fast asleep.

"I wish I could draw," Ritsuka complained. "Soubi tried to teach me once. It was an unqualified disaster."

"You have other talents," Kio prompted.

Ritsuka raised an eyebrow.

"Soubi told me you fought Seimei and Nisei."

"I wouldn't call that talent," Ritsuka said, slightly embarrassed. "I'm not anywhere nearly as good as Nisei, and Soubi is the most amazing…"

"How many sacrifices do you know who can fight?" Kio asked, cutting Ritsuka off.

"What do you know about sacrifices, Kio?" Ritsuka answered, frowning.

"I know enough."

"I don't understand," Ritsuka said, running his hand through his hair and looking intently at Kio.

"I guess Soubi never told you," Kio replied, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Don't worry, Kio," Ritsuka replied, "I won't be mad at him for keeping something from me. I'm used to it."

Kio frowned. "Promise?" he asked.

"Promise," Ritsuka replied, laughing so hard he had to hold his chest.

"You're not supposed to laugh yet. Your stitches, remember?"

"Yeah," said Ritsuka, "I know. Nagisa-san gave me the lecture yesterday on the phone. So tell me. What do you know about sacrifices?"

"My father was a fighter," Kio replied. Ritsuka's eyes widened. "Yeah, it was a surprise to me, too," he continued. "Until eight years ago, after we went to the Seven Voices, I had no idea."

"So it was just a coincidence that you met Soubi?" Ritsuka asked, astounded.

"I doubt it," replied Kio. "My family had some say in where I went to university. I'm guessing they knew Soubi was enrolled there."

"But how…?" began Ritsuka.

"That's a story for another time," Kio said, interrupting. "This conversation was about _you,_ right?"

This time it was Ritsuka who frowned.

"My point is that it _is_ unusual for a sacrifice to be able to fight," Kio continued, ignoring Ritsuka. "And it's not just what _I've_ learned – Soubi was really surprised, too."

"He never said anything to me about it," Ritsuka protested.

"Watching you fight scared the hell out of him, Ritsuka," Kio said, his face softening slightly. "He wouldn't admit it, of course, but he was terrified you'd be hurt. He'd be the _last_ person to encourage you to fight again."

"I don't intend to fight again," Ritsuka said, quite seriously. "I'm happy to have Soubi take care of that from here on out."

"He told me you're better than most of the intermediate students at Seven Voices," Kio said, watching Ritsuka for his reaction. He was not disappointed – Ritsuka's eyes widened slightly at this information. "How long did you study with Ritsu?"

"A couple of months," Ritsuka replied.

Kio smiled and laughed softly. "I'm guessing Ritsu isn't exactly the type that heaps praise on his students."

"I wasn't looking for that man's praise," Ritsuka nearly spat.

"No, I can understand why. From what little I know from Soubi, the man was a rat bastard."

"That's an understatement," Ritsuka interjected, a tiny muscle in his cheek jumping involuntarily.

"My point is that you have talents, Ritsuka," Kio continued, undaunted. "More than you know. Maybe Seimei realizes that, too. Maybe that's why he wants you."

"I don't know," Ritsuka said, considering the idea.

"What do you know about your family, Ritsuka?"

"I…," Ritsuka began, hesitatingly, "not much, I guess."

"Haven't you ever wondered why both you and your brother share some of the same abilities?" Kio asked. "Isn't it possible that it's more than a coincidence? Isn't it possible that it's in your genes, Ritsuka?"

"My genes?" Ritsuka had honestly never considered the thought, but it immediately seemed to make sense.

"I don't know much about Seven Voices or spell battles," Kio said, "but I know that the ability to fight runs in families." Kio paused, studying Ritsuka's face. "Did you know that Soubi's mother was a fighter, Ritsuka?"

"No," Ritsuka answered.

"She was Ritsu's fighter."

"Ritsu's f…fighter?" Ritsuka stammered, stunned.

"Yes," Kio replied. "Soubi told me that much, after you ordered him to leave. Truth is, he had way too much sake that night, and I'm sure he told me more than he wanted me to know. It's the first time he ever talked to me about his parents."

Ritsuka said nothing.

"Look," Kio said, after a minute of silence, "I realize this is a lot for you to hear, but I thought you should know. The way things have been going, we might not get another chance to talk anytime soon."

"I…uh…thanks," said Ritsuka, still in shock.

"You need to talk to Soubi, Ritsuka," Kio said, kindly. "Maybe now that Seimei no longer has his claws in him, he'll tell you more about it."

"Where is he, anyhow?"

"He got a call a few hours ago and said he had to take care of something," Kio replied. "Said he'd be back for dinner."

"Thanks, Kio," said Ritsuka, smiling once more.

"For what?" Kio asked.

"For being such a good friend – to both of us."

* * *

Soubi opened his eyes. He was lying on a concrete floor in the darkness; it felt cold and damp. He could hear water dripping in the distance.

_Where am I?_ he wondered vaguely, trying to clear his head. He remembered Shinjuku Station and the platform. His hand went instinctively to the back of his head; there was a large lump there where he had been hit. _Shit._

He tried to stand up, but the world around him spun violently and he thought better of it. _They've drugged me_, he thought, as he laid his head back on the hard floor.

Footsteps echoed in the distance. Muffled voices, dark shapes and then a sharp pain in his arm – a needle, he realized. His eyes felt heavy.

Silence, again.

* * *

Ritsuka frowned at his phone.

"Still no answer?" Kio asked.

"No," Ritsuka said, feeling uneasy now. "When did he say he'd be back again?"

"Dinnertime," Kio replied, looking concerned. He glanced up at the clock: it was well after midnight.

"Something's wrong, Kio," Ritsuka said. "The only time Soubi won't take my calls is when he's doing something stupid like fighting by himself, or he's hurt."

"I'm sure there's a good explanation," Kio offered. "He said he was going to meet Youji at Shinjuku Station and bring him back here. Maybe Youji's train got delayed."

Ritsuka frowned, then pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and tapped the several times.

"Youji?"

"_Ritsuka-kun,"_ Youji replied. _"You still awake? How are ya doin'? "_

"I'm fine, Youji," Ritsuka replied, looking up at Kio, his frown deepening. "Where are you?"

"_At school,"_ Youji replied, "_where am I supposed to be?"_

"Do you know where Soubi is?"

"_Soubi? How would I know where that idiot is?"_

"You didn't call him this afternoon?" Ritsuka asked, feeling his heart begin to pound in his chest.

"_Nah_," Youji replied. _"Why would I do that?"_

"Sorry, Youji," Ritsuka said, "I must have misunderstood. I thought you might be coming to Tokyo."

"_Tokyo? Nah, Nagisa-sensei wouldn't let me. Said Natsuo and I'd be bothering you –that you needed your rest," _Youji replied. _"Is something wrong?"_

"I'm not sure," Ritsuka answered, tentatively. "Listen, if you hear from Soubi, tell him to call me right away, okay?"

"_Sure, Ritsuka-kun,"_ Youji replied. _"Let me know if you need any help, okay?"_

"Thanks. Will do, Youji," Ritsuka replied. "I'll talk to you later." Ritsuka tapped the phone once more and looked up at Kio.

"Something's wrong, Kio," he said. "Soubi's been hovering over me like a mother hen the past four weeks. He wouldn't have just taken off like this without talking to one of us first."

"No," Kio answered, "you're probably right."

"I thought I heard his voice before," Ritsuka said, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I thought I was dreaming, but now…" His voice trailed off.

"Can you hear him when he calls you?" Kio asked.

"I'm not sure," Ritsuka answered. "I heard him at the Seven Voices, when Seimei returned. But it's been so long…maybe the connection isn't there anymore."

"Unlikely," Kio replied.

Ritsuka stood up and grabbed his jacket from off the back of a chair.

"Where are you going?" Kio asked. "Your body isn't healed yet."

"I'm going to Shinjuku Station," Ritsuka said.

Kio stood up. "I'm going, too," he said. "Can't have you passing out on the street by yourself."

"You don't need to come, Kio," Ritsuka replied, silently relieved that Kio had offered.

Kio grabbed his own coat and opened the front door. "No arguments. I'm coming along. Soubi'd shoot me if I let you go alone."

"Thanks, Kio," Ritsuka said, as they walked down the steps and into the cool Tokyo night.

* * *

"Agatsuma-san."

Soubi struggled to open his eyes; the light in the room was nearly blinding. His head felt fuzzy, his body weak. He tried to move his arms, but realized that they were restrained. He was lying on some sort of table, immobilized.

"I really do apologize for the inconvenience," the voice continued, "but we can't have you escaping at the moment."

"Where am I?" Soubi asked, still trying to focus on the nebulous figure that looked down at him.

"I'm afraid I cannot tell you that, Agatsuma-san," the man replied, shining a light in one of Soubi's eyes.

"Then you won't tell me who you are either, I take it," Soubi replied.

"Oh, no," the man replied, "I'm happy to tell you who _I_ am. Minami Sora. Pleased to meet you."

"Minami?"

The man's face now began to come into focus. Blond hair, green eyes.

"Of course," Sora replied, with a knowing smile. "You know the name well. Your former sensei is my younger brother."

"Ritsu never spoke of a brother," Soubi replied, narrowing his eyes .

"No, I suppose he wouldn't have mentioned me," Sora replied. "We haven't always seen eye to eye. Still, I would have thought he would have spoken of me to his most prized student."

Soubi said nothing.

Sora smiled. "I see you have no great love for my brother, Agatsuma-san," he said, clearly pleased with this revelation. "Good. Then perhaps you will agree to cooperate with us."

"Us?" Soubi ventured.

"But you already know who we are, don't you?" Sora replied, with a soft laugh.

"I was hoping you would tell me yourself," Soubi parried, his eyes fixed on Sora's. "It's far more entertaining that way."

"I'll indulge you then," answered Sora, smiling coyly. "We are Septimal Moon, as you have undoubtedly guessed. About ten years ago, we decided to break off from my brother and his associates after a slight difference of opinion."

"Slight?" mused Soubi.

"_We_ prefer to see it that way," Sora replied, quite obviously enjoying the interaction.

"And what does Septimal Moon want with me?" Soubi asked, although he was quite sure he already knew the answer.

"We are in need of your services, Agatsuma Soubi," Sora replied quite off-handedly. "Your services, and those of your sacrifice, Aoyagi Ritsuka."


	10. A Way with Words

Chapter Ten: A Way with Words

**The Present:**

"Are you serious?" Soubi replied, looking at Sora with mild amusement.

Sora frowned and sighed. "Quite serious," he replied. "But I hadn't expected you to join us easily; after all, Seimei has tried several times to persuade you. I realize you probably need some time to think it over."

The edges of Soubi's mouth turned up slightly. "Seimei is working for you?" Soubi asked.

"Seimei is hardly an employee," Sora answered, with a smile. "You might want to think of him more as a partner in this venture."

Soubi said nothing.

"Does that disturb you, Agatsuma-san?" Sora asked, intrigued by Soubi's lack of response.

"What do you intend to do with me, now that I have refused you?" asked Soubi, ignoring the question.

"Nothing," Sora replied, "at least for the time being. For now, you will serve your purpose simply by being here. And, of course, I will do my best to _persuade_ you."

At this, Soubi frowned and glanced around the room. It was clearly a medical facility of sorts – bottles of liquids were stacked on clear glass shelving, trays of medical implements sat, ready for surgery, in clear cases. Several computers were lit with data sets and a set of surgical lights hung overhead. He could well imagine what might be used to 'persuade'.

"Be gentle with me," Soubi said, unfazed.

Sora smiled once more. "Of course," he said, picking up a syringe and injecting Soubi in the arm. "But, for now, you will sleep, Agatsuma-san."

* * *

**Fourteen Years Before:**

Soubi stood in the library, staring out the window. It was early winter; the sky was gray and ominous. It would snow soon. His heart felt like the cold sky – haunted, empty.

He tried to ignore the voices behind him – laughter, sniggers, whispers. He told himself he didn't care what they thought. _So I lost my ears,_ he thought, focusing on a tree whose leaves had begun to turn orange and red. _So what?_

Minami Ritsu. Truthfully, he hated the man as much as he loved him. No. That wasn't right. He loved the man more than he hated him.

"Submit to me, Soubi," Ritsu had said, his green eyes ablaze.

**Submission**. The word dominated Soubi's existence from the minute he awoke in the morning and began to spar with Ritsu, to the minute he closed his eyes, curled up in his small bed alone at night. The method varied, but the result was always the same: he would give willingly of himself, regardless of the cost.

_Minami-sensei is all that I have._

He knew that the other students mocked him behind his back. Soubi, the teacher's pet. Plaything, more accurately. And now, there was something more obvious to tease him about.

_I love him. Does he love me?_

**Love**. Another word, unlike submission. A word that conjured up feelings of need. The need to be loved, to be wanted. The dream of his mother holding him had begun to fade, replaced by something less…beautiful.

_Is it wrong, for me to feel like this about him? I'm not yet a man._

**Shame**. He knew instinctively that it hadn't been right, what Ritsu had done the night before. So where was his shame? He had been wanted, enough that Ritsu had allowed him to spend the night in Ritsu's bed, enough that Ritsu had wanted to touch him. He had welcomed the soft touch of Ritsu's fingers and the feel of Ritsu's skin against his own. He craved warmth.

_I don't care what they think about me._

**Worthless**. The way he felt when no relatives came forward to claim him, after his parents' deaths.

_I am __not__ worthless. Minami-sensei wanted me. He wanted __me__._

"So that's how he does it – bangs the teacher," the kid named Kori said to another student. "No wonder he gets the best grades."

**Anger**. The feeling he did his best to repress; the thing of which Ritsu had done his best to exorcise from his psyche. The feeling that had made him feel alive once.

_Ignore them. _

"Soubi-kun, show me how well you fight," Kori continued, imitating Ritsu's voice. "Soubi-kun, show me how well you suck di…"

"Shut up," Soubi growled, turning around and punching Kori hard on the chin. "Leave me the fuck alone!"

Kori fell backwards onto the library floor. "Bastard!" he shouted, rubbing his chin. Several other students gathered around, eager to watch a fight.

_I won't give in to them. I won't fight them. I fight only for one person._

Soubi frowned and turned to walk away. "Just leave me alone," he said, under his breath.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, turning him around. He swung, hard, believing the hand to be Kori's. His hand met another, larger hand.

"Soubi-kun?"

"Minami-sensei," Soubi said, looking quite wretched and hanging his head. "I…" His voice trailed off. He counted the squares of the wooden flooring, noting the differences in the grain of the wood.

**Pathetic**. Another painful word, and an accurate description of his life at Seven Voices. A word that described his feeling of guilt and failure at having defied Ritsu.

_Will he make me leave? Will he love me less?_

Ritsu frowned. "Soubi-kun," he said, evenly, "what happened here?"

"I'm sorry, Sensei." Soubi glanced over Ritsu's shoulder. Several of the girls in the group were rolling their eyes at each other.

"I will see you in my office, Soubi-kun," said Ritsu. "Now." Soubi followed Ritsu out of the library, keenly aware that several of the boys were licking their lips at him suggestively.

A minute later, in Ritsu's office, Soubi stood staring at the floor once again.

"What was that all about, Soubi-kun?" Ritsu asked.

"Nothing," Soubi replied, refusing to look up at Ritsu. "It doesn't matter."

Ritsu put his hand on Soubi's shoulder.

"You must never fight except to protect your sacrifice, Soubi," Ritsu chastised. "You know this."

"Yes," Soubi answered, still looking at the floor.

"Come to my room again tonight, Soubi," Ritsu whispered.

**Hunger**. He would go, of course, for the love he craved. Even though he knew it was wrong.

* * *

**The Present**

_I have to get the hell out of here,_ Soubi thought vaguely, looking around the empty cell. His hands were firmly secured behind his back and his mind felt dulled from the drugs. He would not be able to use a spell to break free of this prison in his current state. Sora clearly understood his abilities.

_Ritsuka,_ he thought, leaning against the cold stone wall and closing his eyes, _they want you. They expect you to come after me._ The thought frightened him. He would need to think of something to keep Ritsuka away, except that right now he just couldn't think clearly.

* * *

Shinjuku Station at three a.m. was nearly empty. A few late-night stragglers made their way to the trains here and there. Shadows of people, almost surreal.

"Excuse me," Ritsuka said to the attendant at the ticket booth. "I dropped something on one of the platforms when I got off the train this afternoon. I've forgotten what track number I was on."

"Of course, sir," the attendant replied, smiling at him kindly. "What train were you on?"

"The mid-afternoon train from Gora," Ritsuka answered.

The woman clicked the mouse to her computer several times, then looked up through the glass and said, "That train came in on Track 6."

"Arigato gozai masu," said Ritsuka, turning to Kio and nodding.

Ritsuka paced back and forth on the track. _Nothing, dammit,_ he thought, stopping to lean against one of the support pillars.

"You look exhausted, Ritsuka-kun," Kio noted.

"Now _you're_ sounding like a mother hen, Kio" Ritsuka snapped, irritated with himself more than Kio.

"Someone has to watch out for Sou-chan's interests, right?" Kio replied, smiling warmly at Ritsuka.

"Hn," Ritsuka muttered under his breath.

Ritsuka walked to the end of the platform again, this time bending down and running his hand lightly over the concrete. He turned his hand over – there was dirt on his fingertips. He frowned again, then moved over a foot or two and repeated the motion. _Still nothing. _A small mark at the edge of the platform near the yellow line caught his eye. He moved again, running his fingers over the mark, then examined them once more. _Blood?_ His heart leapt in his chest.

"Kio!" he shouted.

Kio came running down the platform. "Did you find something?" he asked. Ritsuka showed him the dark red smear on his finger. Kio frowned. "I'm sure it's nothing, Ritsuka-kun," he said, looking unconvinced.

"I know what blood looks like, Kio," Ritsuka retorted angrily as he turned to look for more spots. He found several others. "There isn't much," said Ritsuka, continuing to look around. "That's good news. At least we know he probably wasn't badly hurt."

"Ritsuka," Kio began, "you don't even know if that's _his_ blood." This drew a dark look from Ritsuka, who swallowed hard and took a deep breath, trying to control his temper.

Kio, who had gotten to his knees to look for himself, pulled a strand of hair off the ground. It was long and blonde. "At least we know he was here," Kio offered, seeing Ritsuka's expression.

They spent the next half-hour combing the concrete for more clues. They found nothing else.

"He's not here anymore," Ritsuka said finally. "I can feel it."

"So what now?"

"Do you still have a car?" Ritsuka asked.

Kio frowned. "You're not supposed to be going anywhere, Ritsuka," he said, looking at Ritsuka warily.

"You can't expect me just to sit in bed and do nothing, can you?" Ritsuka answered.

Kio sighed.

"Look, I just want to go to Seven Voices," Ritsuka said, his expression softening slightly. "Nagisa-san will be there – she can check me out. I'm not going to be chasing all over the place."

"Seven Voices?" Kio asked, remembering the last time he had been. "Why there?"

"This has to do with Septimal Moon, Kio," said Ritsuka, rubbing the tense muscles in his neck with his hand.

"How do you know that?"

"When we fought Seimei in Ueno," Ritsuka replied, "I just _knew_ Seimei was interested in more than just me."

"But I thought he had given up on Soubi," said Kio.

"That's what he said," answered Ritsuka. "I don't believe it. Seimei wants both of us. I'm sure of it."

"And if he has Soubi…"

"He knows I won't be that far behind," Ritsuka finished.

"That's a damn good reason _not_ to go, then," Kio said pointedly. "If this Septimal Moon is using Soubi to get to you…"

"I don't care," Ritsuka replied. "Would you just sit around and hope for the best if you were in my shoes?"

Kio considered this, eyeing Ritsuka with resignation. "I have a car," he said finally, scowling at Ritsuka.

"Good," Ritsuka said. "We'll leave tonight."

"Tonight?" Kio protested, "but…"

"I'll sleep in the car, alright?" Ritsuka offered.

Kio sighed. "Alright," he said finally.

"Thanks, Kio," said Ritsuka.

"Yeah," Kio answered. "And when Soubi threatens me with bodily harm…"

"I'll defend you," laughed Ritsuka, forcing a smile. "Promise."

* * *

They arrived at Seven Voices near daybreak. The early morning sky was a cloudless bluish-black. Here and there, flowering bulbs poked their heads out of the grass in bursts of color. The old building stood like a sentinel at the end of the long driveway. Ritsuka shuddered involuntarily, remembering the first time he had seen this place, eight years before. Each time he came here, the effect was the same, as if Soubi's past lurked around every shadowy corner of the school.

Ritsuka walked to the large front doors and rang the bell. He and Kio waited in silence for several minutes, until the sound of footsteps on the marble floor was heard through the doors. The latch turned and a young woman peered out at them, clearly irritated.

"You woke me up," she complained, looking over Ritsuka and Kio with contempt.

"Summimasen," said Ritsuka, doing his best impression of puppy-dog eyes. The woman's face softened slightly. "I need to see Minami-san. It's urgent."

The girl frowned, then asked, "Who are you?"

"Aoyagi Ritsuka," Ritsuka replied. "This is Kaidou Kio."

"Aoyagi? You're Seimei's brother, aren't you?"

"Yes," Ritsuka answered, realizing that for the first time, he was not pleased to have to answer in the affirmative. This thought saddened him.

"Please come in," the woman said. "I am Tanaka Akiko. I'm new here – Nagisa-san hired me to help Minami-san with paperwork."

Kio and Ritsuka followed Akiko into the main entry and down a long hallway to Ritsu's office. It was unchanged from when he had last seen it months ago; glass cases filled with the still forms of butterflies covered the walls. Unlike before, however, Ritsu's desk was now meticulously clean. Several stacks of paper were neatly arranged to one side. Ritsuka smiled; this was Nagisa's work, undoubtedly. She had been putting pressure on Ritsu for years to hire someone to help him. Ritsu had been right to think himself fortunate to have Nagisa in his life.

A few minutes later, Ritsuka heard the sound of Ritsu's cane on the hallway floor, and the door to the office opened. Kio, who had heard the story of how Ritsu was blinded, was nevertheless clearly distressed to see the result.

"Ritsuka-kun, Kaidou-san," said Ritsu, smiling broadly and walking up to Ritsuka and Kio as if he could see them quite clearly, "to what or to whom do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"Soubi is missing," Ritsuka replied, releasing Ritsu's hand quickly and stepping back from him.

"Missing?"

"He received a call from someone he thought was Youji and went to Shinjuku Station," Ritsuka explained. "We found some blood on the train platform, but nothing else."

"Interesting," said Ritsu, running his hand along the desk and sitting in the chair behind it. He motioned to Kio and Ritsuka to sit in the chairs positioned in front of the desk.

"You know something about this, don't you, Ritsu?" Ritsuka asked, frowning.

"I can guess," Ritsu replied. "Your performance at the temple clearly got someone's attention."

"Someone? You mean Seimei?"

Ritsu smiled. "You already had _his_ attention," he said, lightly. "No, I meant others."

"Septimal Moon?"

"Yes," Ritsu replied. "And given what I heard about Soubi's performance that day, I'm guessing that it was not only you that they want now."

"You think they want Soubi?" Ritsuka asked.

"Quite likely," replied Ritsu. "They believe they can use him, too."

"He defied Seimei's orders…," Ritsuka began, his voice trailing off as his thoughts wandered.

"Precisely. It appears that you, Ritsuka, were the catalyst for him to sever the bonds with Seimei," Ritsuka explained. "He is far more useful now that he does not answer to only one master."

"Useful?" Kio interjected.

"Yes, Kaidou-san," Ritsu said. "Useful. Septimal Moon's main goal has been to create fighters and sacrifices that are easily interchangeable."

"An army," Ritsuka said, his voice flat.

"That is correct, Ritsuka-kun," said Ritsu. "An army of spell fighters would have some advantages over pairs, would it not?"

"I suppose so," Ritsuka said, thinking about the implications.

"This is what Nagisa-san had originally developed the Zero for," Ritsu explained. "But after your experiences with them, you understand that she was not truly successful in her experiments."

"Yes," Ritsuka replied, thinking back eight years before, when he and Soubi had fought Koya and Yamato. "There were problems with changing the Zeros' pairings. Has Septimal Moon been able to work out the problems?"

"From what I understand, the answer is 'yes' and 'no'," answered Ritsu.

"Go on," prompted Ritsuka, when Ritsu hesitated. "Please."

"From what Nagisa-san has learned, Septimal Moon has modified the Zeros so that they are interchangeable, at least for a limited number of times," Ritsu said. "But…"

"But they want Soubi because he's a blank fighter," Ritsuka finished.

"Yes," Ritsu replied. "Blank fighters – or blank sacrifices – are quite rare. They are generally only found in the bloodlines of the original seven families."

"_My_ bloodline."

Ritsu raised an eyebrow. "I see you have figured a few more things out since we last spoke," he say, coyly.

"It was a good guess," Ritsuka replied evenly. "And, from what I understand, it explains how I am able to double as a fighter."

Ritsu smiled. "And what about you, Kaidou-san?" he asked.

"Me? I'm no fighter."

"Have you ever tried?" Ritsu parried.

"Not interested," Kio replied stonily.

"Are you implying that Kio's family is also one of the original seven?" asked Ritsuka.

"Yes," replied Ritsu, at which Kio scowled and crossed his legs.

Light streamed in through the high window in Ritsu's office. Ritsuka yawned and rubbed his eyes. Despite the fascinating conversation, he was utterly exhausted.

"You are tired, Ritsuka," said Ritsu. "I've had rooms prepared for you both. Nagisa-san would like to see you when you have rested up a bit. Something about checking your stitches. We can talk more later."

"Thanks," said Ritsuka, too tired to protest.

A half hour later, Ritsuka gratefully closed his eyes, thankful to have a comfortable place to rest. He would ask Nagisa more about Septimal Moon when he saw her. He needed to find Soubi, and soon. If he was correct – that Septimal Moon was holding Soubi prisoner – it wouldn't be too difficult to find him.

_They __want__ me to find them,_ he thought, as sleep overtook him. _They want us both._


	11. Bonds

**Author's Note****: Thanks, as always, for the great feedback! We're past the halfway point now, and on to the journey to find Septimal Moon. But what will Ritsuka find there? And what will he and Soubi face? As always, lots of questions. Answers to come! Enjoy. –Lex**

Chapter Eleven: Bonds

**Twelve Years Before:**

"Soubi."

"I don't feel like talking," Soubi replied sullenly. He had been walking down the hallway towards the cafeteria when Ritsu had come up from behind him.

"You didn't come to my room last night," said Ritsu, sounding slightly hurt.

Soubi looked around. The hallway was empty. "What's the point?" Soubi asked, reassured that no one would overhear them. "You've chosen a sacrifice for me. I'll be leaving here in a few days."

"You always knew this day would come, Soubi-kun," Ritsu replied, putting his hand around Soubi's shoulders. Soubi pushed Ritsu away.

"I wanted to be _your_ fighter," Soubi said, his voice low and full of emotion.

"And I explained to you that there could be only one fighter for me," Ritsu answered, simply. "You were never meant to be mine."

"You told me that I could be _anyone's_ fighter," Soubi insisted.

"You cannot be mine," came the cool response.

"Why?" demanded Soubi, raising his voice slightly. His cheeks were red with anger. "Why? Because I'm not _her_?"

Ritsu looked surprised.

"I know about you and my mother," Soubi said, defiantly.

"There was nothing between us, Soubi," Ritsu explained calmly. "She was my fighter, that's all."

"You wanted there to be more than that," Soubi insisted. "You loved her, didn't you?"

Ritsu looked at Soubi. "Yes," he replied. "I loved her. But we never…"

"That doesn't matter," Soubi retorted angrily. "You _wanted_ her."

"Yes, Soubi," Ritsu admitted, "I wanted her."

"How did she die?" Soubi demanded, his face hard with rage.

"I cannot tell you that," Ritsu replied.

"Cannot or won't?" Soubi hissed.

Ritsu did not reply.

"You killed her didn't you?" asked Soubi.

"No," replied Ritsu, still quite calm, "I did not."

"But you're the one responsible for her death and my father's, aren't you?"

Ritsu looked quite pale and his green eyes looked slightly haunted.

"That's it, isn't it?" Soubi continued, mercilessly. "You are responsible for their deaths."

"I…," Ritsu began, unsure of what to say.

"You only wanted me because I looked like _her, _didn't you?"

"No, I…"

"You slept with me because you couldn't have _her_. You never loved me, did you?"

Ritsuka took a deep breath. "That's not true, Soubi-kun, I…"

"You're a liar, Ritsu. You used me. You never cared for me, and you never loved _me –_ you loved _her_!" Soubi's head hung low now; he refused to meet Ritsu's eyes.

"You're wrong, Soubi-kun," Ritsu said, reaching for Soubi. Soubi knocked Ritsu's hand away and stepped back several feet.

"I'll go," said Soubi, under his breath, "since that's what you want. But I'll never come back here. Do you understand? After I leave, I never want to see you again."

"Soubi-kun, please…," Ritsu began once more. "Listen to…"

"I'm through listening, _Sensei_," Soubi said, turning and walking down the hallway. "I know my place. I know what I must do. I will not fight it."

Ritsu watched Soubi walk away. In truth, he had always known this day would come, but he was surprisingly sad all the same. Gentle Soubi, who had overcome his anger to become a source of quiet strength. The sweet boy who had accepted his fate until now without complaint.

"Soubi," said Ritsu to himself, after Soubi was out of earshot, "I always loved you. It's just that I never deserved you."

* * *

**The Present:**

"_Ritsuka!"_

Ritsuka sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. Had he heard Soubi's voice? The line between dream and reality seemed somehow blurred. It took him a few minutes to realize where he was – the simple dorm room looked nothing like Soubi's apartment. He heard the sound of students in the hallway and it all came back to him.

_Get it together, Ritsuka, _he told himself, frowning and stepping out of the bed. _This is your chance to show Soubi you are strong._

He showered and changed, glancing briefly at the clock beside the bed and mentally chastising himself for having wasted most of the day sleeping. It was now nearly dinnertime and, but for the empty growl of his stomach, he felt far better than when he had arrived early in the morning.

Unlike the dormitories, the communal living area had a high, vaulted ceiling and a large fireplace which burned so hot he could feel the heat from across the room. Walking into the common room, he spotted Kio sitting in a comfortable chair looking through a spell book as he drank tea and ate cookies.

"Ritsuka!" Kio said, grinning broadly. "Glad to see you up and around."

"You should have woken me up," Ritsuka said, frowning.

"Cookie?" Kio offered, ignoring Ritsuka's comment. Ritsuka took the cookie without a word, then helped himself to several more. "They're having dinner in the cafeteria," Kio added. "That'd probably be a better choice than cookies."

Ritsuka frowned again. "Have you seen Nagisa-san?" he asked.

"No," Kio said, "but one of the students told me that Nagisa wants to see you in her office."

"Where is her office?" asked Ritsuka.

"I'll tell you if you promise to get some real dinner after you get done with her," Kio replied, with a smirk.

"Hn," replied Ritsuka.

"I know you're going to go chasing off the minute you have a chance," Kio said, serious now. "You're no good to Soubi if you're so weak that you pass out before you even find him."

Ritsuka sighed. "You're both mother hens," he said impatiently.

Kio smiled but said nothing.

"Fine," Ritsuka said. "I'll get dinner afterwards. Promise."

"I'm going to hold you to that," Kio said, laughing. "Besides, you damn well need a mother hen, you know."

* * *

"Ritsuka-kun!"

"It's good to see you, Nagisa-san," said Ritsuka, blushing slightly at the older woman's overly-friendly embrace. His embarrassment only seemed to encourage her more, and he delicately extricated himself from her grasp.

"I should lock you up, you know," she laughed, raising an eyebrow at him. "You were supposed to stay in bed a few more days."

"I'm fine," Ritsuka replied, walking in and taking a good look around the room. He had never been in Nagisa's office before. When he had trained with Ritsu, he had spent most of his days in the gym, eschewing the main areas of the school - the other students had heard of him or, perhaps, had heard of Seimei, and he had not wanted the attention or the inevitable questions.

Nagisa's office, unlike Ritsu's, was colorfully decorated. The rich floral prints of the chairs and sofa met the bold striped patterns of the draperies in an explosion of energy. Whereas Ritsu's office was understated, almost austere, Nagisa's office was a reflection of the myriad contradictions of the woman who still dressed in the clothing of a young girl. Here and there, the office's surfaces were adorned with tiny figurines – the kind of cheap, brightly painted porcelain that one might find at a Chinatown souvenir shop. The walls were hung with simple Japanese watercolors, obviously expensive and done in a style that reminded Ritsuka vaguely of Soubi's art.

The fleeting thought of Soubi was a reminder to Ritsuka that the other man was still held captive somewhere. This thought physically pained Ritsuka, and he took a deep breath, willing his mind to focus on the woman with the two high pigtails and the pink glossed lips.

"Let me see your chest," Nagisa ordered, assuming at least temporarily a more professional demeanor. Ritsuka lifted off his shirt to reveal a long, pink scar that ran from over his right nipple to just below his heart. She ran her fingers along the wound. "Is it still sore?" she asked, after a moment.

"Just a little," he admitted.

"That's normal," she said. "The wound is healing nicely, but the muscles underneath will take a bit longer to recover. You should try not to overexert yourself for the next week or two."

"Thanks," he said, pulling his shirt back over his head, "for saving my life."

She smiled, the childish expression now returned to her face. "That was a reckless thing you did in Ueno," she said.

"It was necessary," Ritsuka answered, taking a seat on one of the overstuffed chairs.

"Ritsu tells me your gamble paid off," she said. "He didn't think you could do it. Neither did I. What would you have done if Soubi hadn't…? "

"I never doubted him," Ritsuka said, cutting across her.

Nagisa's musical laughter filled the office. "You are so cute, Ritsuka-kun," she said, brushing his cheek with her hand. "You _do_ love him, don't you?"

Ritsuka blushed again, but said nothing.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, you know," she continued, unfazed. "Lord knows that man needs someone to take pity on him."

"Soubi doesn't need pity," Ritsuka retorted, becoming quite defensive.

Nagisa laughed again. "I didn't mean it _that_ way," she said, sitting down on the couch and crossing her legs beneath her. "Sit down and relax, Ritsuka," she added, smiling and tapping on the cushion next to her.

Ritsuka sat on the chair facing the couch, scowling.

"Really," she said, smirking slightly, "I didn't mean it the way it sounded. It's just that Soubi-kun is so…depressing. I think he just enjoys being miserable."

It was hard to argue with that statement, so Ritsuka decided not to answer.

"I know some of what he went through," Nagisa said, shedding her childish demeanor once more. "I know how heartless Ritsu was with him – I really do. Ritsu told me what he did to Soubi."

"Ritsu _told_ you?" Ritsuka asked, shocked by this revelation.

"Yes," she replied, "after he recovered from Seimei's attack. I think he felt guilty, although he'd never admit it outright."

"What he did to Soubi was unforgiveable," Ritsuka said, angrily.

"Yes," Nagisa said, sadly, "I suppose it was." She shifted slightly on the couch, leaning back against the pillows. "Still, Soubi is a grown man, Ritsuka. At some point, we all have to move forward and live our lives, in spite of our pasts. Maybe now, Soubi can do that…" Her voice trailed off wistfully.

"I have to find him," Ritsuka said, deciding that it would get him nowhere to defend Soubi any longer. He needed information, and he was convinced that Nagisa had it.

"Why do you think I know where he is?" Nagisa parried, smiling coyly at him.

"Because you've known where Seimei was all along," Ritsuka replied, watching for her reaction.

"When did you realize that?" she asked, clearly impressed.

"I saw the look of guilt on your face, eight years ago," Ritsuka replied. "I didn't understand what it meant until a few months ago, though. You and Seimei worked together on Septimal Moon, but it was more than that. You wanted him."

Nagisa sighed. "He was a fascinating boy, your brother," she admitted. "Attractive, too, just like you, Ritsuka-kun. Ritsu wouldn't give me a second look, and I suppose I hoped maybe Seimei would. I was foolish. I didn't see him for the monster he was until it was too late."

"He got the security codes from you, didn't he?" Ritsuka asked. "That's how he got in here so easily, isn't it?"

"Yes," she replied and, for the first time, there were tears in her eyes. "It's because of my stupidity that Ritsu was hurt. I trusted Seimei. When he told me he wanted to come back and work with me, I believed him."

Ritsuka felt oddly sorry for her, the grown woman who, in many ways, was not much more than just a child. "Seimei would have found a way inside, even if you hadn't helped him, Nagisa-san," he said, kindly.

"You are so different from your brother," Nagisa said, smiling again. "Soubi is a lucky man."

"Where is he, Nagisa?" asked Ritsuka. "Please. I don't want to see Soubi hurt again."

Nagisa looked at Ritsuka sadly. "I don't want anything to happen to you, either, Ritsuka," she said.

"Please, Nagisa," Ritsuka repeated.

"All right," she said finally, hopping up from the couch and walking over to the window. It was now completely dark outside; the sky was cloud-covered, without stars. "I'll tell you. But only if you agree to take Zero with you when you go chasing after him."

"Fine," Ritsuka replied, stifling an urge to tell her that he didn't need any help when, truthfully, he knew that he needed all the help he could get. "I'll take them with me."

"There's a school on Hokkaido," she said, "outside of Sapporo, in the foothills of the mountains. After Seimei's attack on Seven Voices, they began training their own fighters there. I sent another Zero pair to find out what they were up to. They reported back that they had found Seimei, but then we lost contact with them. A few months later, they turned up on the grounds here." Ritsuka's eyes widened. "They were dead, Ritsuka," said Nagisa, solemnly. "Both of them."

"Why would they have dragged the bodies back here – all the way from Hokkaido?" Ritsuka asked incredulously.

"Seimei's always been one for drama, I guess," Nagisa answered. "How else can you explain gouging out Ritsu's eyes and writing a message to you in Ritsu's blood?"

Ritsuka had no answer. In spite of everything he knew about Seimei – in spite of everything Seimei had done to hurt Ritsuka over the years – Ritsuka still could not forget the kind, protective older brother he had known as a child. He had never truly been able to reconcile these two different 'Seimeis'. It was as if his older brother really _had _died ten years before, and he had been replaced by a new, frightening person who looked and sounded just like Seimei, but who was nothing like the brother he had lost.

Nagisa smiled once more. "I told you this only because I want you to understand the danger, Ritsuka-kun," she said. "Youji and Natsuo are more experienced than the Zero pair we lost. Still, given what Soubi told me about the fighter pair you met in Kyoto, Septimal Moon's fighters are probably stronger."

"Why do you think the Three fighter killed his sacrifice?" Ritsuka asked.

"I can guess," Nagisa replied. "If Septimal Moon is working to create an army of spell fighters – they would want to keep that work secret. By leaving behind a badly-injured sacrifice, they would also be leaving behind information that we might be able to use to defeat them in the future. You have to remember that the Zeros are not human – they are _created_."

"I refuse to believe that they aren't human," Ritsuka said. "You've seen for yourself that they have emotions; that they want to keep living."

"I understand," Nagisa replied, "and I, too, have come to understand that they are not merely tools. But your brother is hardly warm-hearted – he always saw them as something to be used and discarded, if necessary. To him and to Septimal Moon, they are replaceable. Weapons."

This thought made Ritsuka shiver; he felt slightly ill at the thought that Youji and Natsuo could be thought of as weapons to be discarded when they had outlived their usefulness.

"I'll be leaving in the morning," said Ritsuka, standing up now. "I appreciate your honesty, Nagisa-san."

Nagisa walked over to the door and embraced Ritsuka once more – this time, in a genuinely warm manner. "I'm happy to have helped. If you need anything from us, please let me know. I'll arrange transportation to Sapporo for you and the others."

"Thank you."

"And Ritsuka-kun?"

"Hmm?"

"Please bring Soubi back here," Nagisa said. "He needs to speak with Ritsu. They _both _need it."

"I'll do my best," Ritsuka replied. "That's all I can offer."

* * *

Ritsuka met Kio, Youji and Natsuo near the front entryway to the school at the first light of day. Youji and Natsuo looked extremely pleased to be permitted to accompany Ritsuka to Hokkaido, having never journeyed beyond the main island of Honshu.

Kio looked least pleased of all, although he had insisted on accompanying Ritsuka. "Someone has to make sure you don't get yourself killed doing something stupid," he had said, the night before. Ritsuka had just laughed and thanked Kio for the vote of confidence.

As they gathered their things, Nagisa and Ritsu met them to say their goodbyes. Nagisa, as always, embraced Ritsuka in an overly-friendly manner, relishing Ritsuka's obvious discomfort. Ritsu, however, took Ritsuka aside, away from the others.

"I have something I'd like you to give to Soubi, when you find him," Ritsu said.

"_When_ I find him?" countered Ritsuka.

"I have no doubt you will find him and bring him back safely, Ritsuka-kun," Ritsu replied, with a knowing smile. "I am quite confident in your abilities."

"I hope I'm worthy of your confidence, Minami-san," Ritsuka replied, masking his surprise at the unexpected compliment.

Ritsu pulled a small book from his pocket and placed it in Ritsuka's hands.

"What is it?" Ritsuka asked, running his fingers lightly over the worn red-leather cover.

"That is a diary," Ritsu replied, his face suddenly quite sad. "It was Soubi's mother's diary."

"His mother's?"

"I failed Soubi on so many levels," Ritsu said, with a sigh. "It is because of me that his parents died. And it is because of me that Soubi…" His voice trailed off.

Ritsuka frowned, happy that Ritsu could not see the expression of pity on his face. He took a deep breath and reached out to hold Ritsu's hand. "I will make sure he gets this," he said, finding that he no longer harbored anger towards Soubi's former teacher.

"Thank you," Ritsu replied, squeezing Ritsuka's hand.

"Would you please do me one other favor when you see Soubi-kun again?" Ritsu asked.

"Of course," Ritsuka replied.

"Tell him that I have always loved him," Ritsu said. "And please, tell him I am sorry."


	12. Captive Hearts

Chapter Twelve: Captive Hearts

Soubi struggled to keep his eyes open. It had been like this for as long as he could remember – weeks, perhaps – living in a dreamlike state, trying to focus, trying to separate reality from hallucination. Images of his past at Seven Voices mingled freely with those representing his greatest fears: Ritsuka lying dead on the floor of the temple, covered in blood; Ritsuka leaving him again and reuniting with Seimei; growing old knowing that Ritsuka would never return.

From time to time, food would appear in his cell. More often than not, the tray of bread, meat and cheese would remain untouched. Sometimes, although he did not remember eating, the tray would be emptied of its contents. In brief moments of lucidity, he recognized the sensation of hunger amidst the nausea and dizziness. He quickly lost track of time in the semi-darkness.

Sometimes, he would try to focus on his surroundings, trying to claw his way out from the depths of his mind. Ritsuka would come – a thought that to Soubi was both a source of hope and gnawing fear. He wanted to protect Ritsuka; he feared for his safety. He would not allow them to hurt Ritsuka. He would die first.

_My Ritsuka._

He had never been sure what had attracted him most to Ritsuka. At first, it was Ritsuka's child's vulnerability at the loss of Seimei. Ritsuka's pain had mirrored his own for, although Soubi could never truly say he had loved Seimei, Soubi could never deny that he had _needed_ Seimei. As Seimei's fighter, Soubi had found a purpose – something that had saved him from the pain of losing Ritsu. Later, Soubi had found himself drawn to the strength of the young boy who, in spite of his mother's abuse, had found room in his heart to love her.

_We're more alike than we seem_, thought Soubi, in a rare moment of lucidity. _And now…_

Now, Ritsuka had come back to him, although Soubi knew he hadn't deserved it. There had been no one since Ritsu who had made Soubi feel safe and loved. No one until he had met Ritsuka. And he had fallen hard, more so since Ritsuka had returned to claim him as his fighter. And still, after so many years, there had been nothing more than a few kisses, claimed to steel himself for battle, to bond them together. But now, Soubi's drug fogged mind imagined far more…

_You have no right. He has his life to live. You cannot do to him what Ritsu did to your mother. When this is over, you will have to let him go. For good.

* * *

_

Ritsuka, Kio, Youji and Natsuo arrived in Sapporo early in the morning, having taken the ferry from the main island rather than flying.

"I don't like this, Ritsuka," said Youji, as Ritsuka hailed a taxi at the waterfront. "You shouldn't be going there alone."

"They want me, Youji," Ritsuka replied. "They're not going to kill me. They took Soubi because they wanted me to come after him. We've been through this a dozen times - you three know what you have to do."

Kio smiled at Ritsuka and put his arm on Youji's shoulder. "Come, boys," he said lightly. "We've got to get ready. Ritsuka will be fine."

Ritsuka looked at Kio and mouthed, "Thank you," before he climbed into the cab. Once inside, he breathed a sigh of relief – much as he had enjoyed the company, he had been more concerned for their safety than his. He still held out hope that he would not need their help later; that he would be able to get Soubi out by himself, without anyone else's involvement.

* * *

The taxi dropped Ritsuka off about an hour later at the foothills of Soranumadake, a small mountain overlooking several marshy lakes outside Sapporo. Ritsuka, who had never been to Hokkaido before, marveled at the beauty of the place, silently wishing he could find the heart to enjoy it. It was slightly cooler here than in Tokyo, and he was thankful for the sweatshirt Kio had lent him.

The school Nagisa had described was old and reminded Ritsuka of Seven Voices. The traditional style buildings were dark and somber, and Ritsuka almost expected to be greeted at the front entrance by an elderly servant wearing traditional Japanese dress and wooden geta. To his surprise, however, he was met by no one, instead walking through the gates towards what appeared to be the main entrance of the building, unimpeded.

_Am I just supposed to walk up to the door and knock?_ he wondered silently, climbing the large steps to the doorway. It seemed strange; he had imagined more of a welcoming party – but then again, this was not some action movie, he reminded himself. _They've been expecting me,_ he thought, _and they know I won't do anything to risk Soubi's safety._

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He waited for several minutes, and he wondered if Nagisa had been mistaken, or if perhaps Septimal Moon had moved its headquarters elsewhere. Then, finally, one of the large carved doors swung slowly open. But it was no servant who stood in the entrance, it was a man, vaguely familiar in appearance, blond haired, with deep green eyes.

"Welcome, Aoyagi Ritsuka," said the man amiably. "We've been expecting you."

"There were less dramatic ways of getting my attention," Ritsuka said as he narrowed his eyes.

"I apologize for our methods, Aoyagi-kun," the man replied with a smile, "but I hardly think a formal invitation would have been sufficient in this case. You had already made it quite clear to your brother that you had no interest in what we had to offer you, although I understand that Seimei-kun had little opportunity to explain."

"Maybe if he hadn't nearly killed me," Ritsuka replied, "I'd have had more time to consider his proposal."

"Indeed," said the man, with a hint of smile. "I was quite pleased to hear you had survived. It would have been a real loss if you had died."

Ritsuka said nothing.

"But I forget my manners," the man said, gesturing to Ritsuka to enter. "My name is Minami Sora."

"Minami?" Ritsuka repeated.

"Indeed," replied Sora. "My brother is Minami Ritsu. I heard you trained with him at Seven Voices."

"You seem to know a lot," Ritsuka said, wondering how much Septimal Moon knew, and how they had come upon that knowledge. Was there a spy at Seven Voices?

"Not as much as I would wish," Sora answered, leading Ritsuka into a large lobby area. The floors were a deep, aged wood, the walls a slightly lighter shade. The décor was sparse and quite old. It reminded Ritsuka more of a museum than an active school.

"Where is Soubi?" Ritsuka demanded, tired of the niceties.

"He is here," replied Sora. "I will take you to him."

"What do you want from me?"

"We can speak of that later, Aoyagi-kun," Sora replied. "I know you will want to see him for yourself, before you will be willing to hear what we have to say."

"Why would you assume that I'd ever be willing to hear it?" Ritsuka asked.

"I will let you decide that for yourself," Sora answered simply. He gestured to a small doorway at the end of the hallway. From what Ritsuka could see out the windows, they were at the back of the building now. Sora opened the door to reveal a set of long steps downwards. The walls at the sides of the stairs were solid rock.

"The main facility here is underground," Sora explained, noting Ritsuka's look of surprise. "During the Second World War, this building was meant to house government officials in the event of an attack. It has served our purposes quite well."

"What purposes?" Ritsuka asked, as they descended several levels.

"Enlightenment," Sora replied, with a smile. "The expansion of thought and the rise of the spellmasters. But I will tell you more about Septimal Moon after you have been reunited with your beloved Soubi-kun."

This last comment disturbed Ritsuka far more than Sora's knowledge of Seven Voices. He felt almost violated, as if Sora could somehow see into his mind, understand his deeply conflicted feelings for Soubi. Even a spy would not be privy to what Ritsuka had in his heart. No, this was something far more frightening. Ritsuka forced himself to push these thoughts aside, as they continued to move further downwards, and daylight was replaced by darkness.

After several more minutes they reached the bottom of the steps, which opened up onto a roughly cut passageway. At times, he thought he had heard voices, but they seemed distant, and could not make out what they were saying. Here and there they passed by doors, some of which were open. Inside, Ritsuka could see sparely furnished rooms which reminded him of the dormitories at Seven Voices.

"_A rival school, then?" _Ritsuka wondered. _"But to what end?"_ So far, Sora had only spoken in vague terms and near riddles, which only served to make Ritsuka more concerned for Soubi's safety and his own.

They reached the end of the hallway in front of a lone door – a dead end, actually, where the passage terminated in solid rock. The lights were even dimmer now, and Ritsuka was vaguely reminded of a dungeon from a fairy tale his mother had once told him.

Sora turned back to him and smiled. "I will leave you two for now," he said, taking a magnetic card from his pocket and swiping it on a reader mounted beside the door. The lock on the door made an audible clicking sound. Sora opened the door to reveal a dark room, then motioned for Ritsuka to enter. "Don't worry," he said with a slight smile, "I'll be back tomorrow morning for you. Someone will bring you dinner in the meantime."

* * *

Ritsuka walked into the room and Sora shut the door behind him. Ritsuka stood for a moment, listening for Sora's steps on the stone floor. His eyes had begun to adjust to the near darkness, and he walked into the center of the room, which was far larger than Ritsuka had realized. A small bed was pushed up against one of the walls and, next to it, a table. On the table was a tray of food, untouched. Soubi was not on the bed.

"Soubi?"

There was no answer. Ritsuka allowed himself another minute for his eyes to adjust, then began to walk the perimeter of the room carefully. His heart was pounding. Could Sora have just wanted to imprison him? Was Soubi really here? He shook his head, realizing that Sora could have killed him at any time, and he would have been hard pressed to have defended himself. No. Soubi was here, somewhere in the darkness.

Finally, after several minutes, he saw a shadow in the far corner of the room.

"Soubi?" Ritsuka's eyes widened in fear as he saw the still figure on the floor. He ran over to it and dropped to his knees. A tiny sliver of light filtered into the dark cell from the hallway, and Ritsuka moved several inches over so as not to block it. His hand went automatically to the tangled mat of blond hair, brushing it out of the other man's face. What he saw in the dim light made his heart pound madly in his chest. Soubi's face was battered and bruised – a myriad number of injuries, some healing, others clearly freshly inflicted. His shaking hand met Soubi's chest and, once he realized that Soubi's heart was beating strongly and he could feet the rise and fall of Soubi's breath, Ritsuka found he could breathe once more.

_Why did they do this to you, Soubi?_ he wondered silently, his heart aching. _If only I had gotten here sooner…_

Slowly, gingerly, Ritsuka used his hands to assess the extent of Soubi's injuries. It became quickly apparent that none of the injuries were life-threatening. The most disturbing discovery, however, was not the obvious bruises, but the tiny puncture marks Ritsuka found on Soubi's arms. Scores of them.

_They've been drugging him,_ he thought, horrified. _But why? _The answer came rather quickly: Sora did not want to risk leaving Soubi's abilities intact. Ritsuka had little doubt that Soubi could escape from this prison if he had his wits about him. Sora, no doubt, understood this as well.

Ritsuka lifted Soubi's head and gently placed it in his lap. He absentmindedly continued to stroke Soubi's hair, trying to gather his thoughts. "Soubi," he whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Soubi stirred in Ritsuka's arms.

"Soubi?" Ritsuka whispered.

Soubi struggled to open his eyes, succeeding only in part. "Ritsuka?" he said, his voice hoarse, barely audible.

Ritsuka smiled and kissed Soubi gently on the forehead. "_Thank God."_

"Soubi," Ritsuka said, "you had me so worried."

"You shouldn't have come," Soubi whispered, although Ritsuka saw a hint of a smile on Soubi's face and knew the other man was pleased to see him.

"There are plenty of things you think I shouldn't do," Ritsuka said gently. "That's never stopped me before."

"No," said Soubi, his voice slightly stronger now, "I suppose not." His eyes began to close again. "But you must leave now, while you still can."

"You're in no condition to go anywhere," Ritsuka replied, ignoring the implication that he leave Soubi behind. "They have no intention of killing either of us…yet."

Soubi smiled stupidly upwards at Ritsuka, his expression childlike, simple. Soubi's blue eyes looked dull and glassy, and Ritsuka felt something much like pain rise in his chest. Pain, and guilt.

"_Sora allowed me to see Soubi…no, he __wanted__ me to see Soubi as a warning to me of what will happen to both of us if I don't cooperate. He knows Soubi will obey my orders," _thought Ritsuka. Then, another thought, _"Seimei must have told Sora what happened in Ueno Park. Sora must know Soubi no longer will obey Seimei."_

"They wanted you to come, Ritsuka."

"I know," Ritsuka said, helping Soubi to sit up against the stone wall.

Once he was sure that Soubi would not tumble over, Ritsuka stood up. "I'm going to get you some water, Soubi." A minute later, he was again by Soubi's side, helping Soubi drink. "Not too fast," Ritsuka added, with a smile.

"This is quite a change of roles," Soubi said. His speech was slow and slightly slurred.

"You need someone to take care of _you_ sometimes, you know," Ritsuka chastised kindly, as he put the empty glass down and proceeded to brush the hair out of Soubi's eyes. In the light from the doorway, Ritsuka could see that Soubi's once bright blue eyes were now a shade of dull gray. He bit his tongue to keep the tears at bay. _"This is my fault,"_ he thought bitterly.

"You must escape," Soubi said, struggling to focus on Ritsuka's face.

"We came here to bring you back, Soubi," Ritsuka said determinedly, "we aren't leaving without you."

"We?"

"Kio, Youji and Natsuo are waiting for us in Sapporo," Ritsuka explained.

"Sapporo?" Soubi repeated, clearly surprised at the revelation. "I didn't realize they had taken me so far away."

"When's the last time you ate anything?" Ritsuka asked, looking with concern at Soubi's face, which was deathly pale.

"I'm not sure," Soubi replied. "I'm not really sure how long I've been here. It all just runs together." He smiled back at Ritsuka, who frowned.

"You need to eat, Soubi," Ritsuka said, standing up and walking over to the table. He picked up the tray of food and laid it down on the floor next to Soubi, then sat back down. He picked up the napkin from the tray and poured a bit of water from the carafe onto it. He gently began to wipe Soubi's face of the dried blood and dirt from the floor.

"Does it hurt?" Ritsuka asked, studying Soubi intently.

Soubi smiled. "Not anymore," he said dreamily.

Ritsuka laughed softly. "I kind of like you like this, Soubi," Ritsuka said, picking up a piece of bread and tearing off a small piece and putting it to Soubi's lips.

"Like what?" Soubi murmured as he chewed the bread slowly.

"Soft and fuzzy," Ritsuka said, with a grin. This comment drew a lopsided grin from Soubi who looked sleepily back at Ritsuka.

Ritsuka's eyes were wide with emotion; he was overcome with relief at having found Soubi safe. Instinctively, he reached for Soubi's face, running his fingers gently over the bruised skin. He paused briefly at Soubi's lips, transfixed there. Soubi looked at Ritsuka as if trying to understand. He reached for Ritsuka's hand and kissed it.

"You came back for me again," Soubi said, sighing deeply and releasing Ritsuka's hand. "But you shouldn't have, you know," he added, softly.

Ritsuka fought back tears and stroked Soubi's angular chin. "You're a damn fool, Soubi," Ritsuka said, frowning now. "Did you really think I would let you go again?"

"Of course," Soubi replied. "And you _should_ let me go, Ritsuka. You should not be risking your safety for me."

"Dammit, Soubi," Ritsuka nearly shouted. "You don't understand anything, do you?"

Soubi stared at Ritsuka. _"What have you suffered, Soubi,"_ wondered Ritsuka sadly, _"that you believe you don't deserve to be loved?"_ His heart ached to make Soubi understand.

This time, Ritsuka could not hold back his tears. He didn't care. He reached for Soubi and pulled him close, stroking his hair, wishing Soubi could hear his thoughts and understand how much Soubi meant to him. Leaving Soubi here alone would be like leaving a part of himself behind; he could no more leave Soubi and flee than he could cut off his right arm.

"Soubi," he whispered, trying to master the flood of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. "How can I make you understand?" He put his hands to Soubi's face and just looked into Soubi's blue eyes for a minute. He saw both surprise and confusion there.

"Please," Ritsuka said finally. "Let me show you…" Startled, he realized his hands were trembling. Before when he had told Soubi he loved him, it had been difficult, but he had understood that the connection between the two of them had to be reforged. But now… Now, the feelings ran deeper, the risk was greater.

Ritsuka swallowed hard and brought his lips to meet Soubi's. Soubi's expression of surprise intensified, as Ritsuka felt the familiar hunger that had grown over the past few months rise from within his soul.

At first, Soubi seemed to hesitate, as if overwhelmed himself by Ritsuka's gesture. But then, slowly, he began to respond to Ritsuka's demand, and Ritsuka felt Soubi's lips part as the kiss deepened. Ritsuka's heart beat wildly in his chest, and he lost all track of where he was. The only thing that mattered was Soubi, the taste of his mouth, the musky scent of him, the way his body felt in his arms.

"_I love you, Soubi,"_ thought Ritsuka desperately.

"Ritsuka," murmured Soubi faintly.

Ritsuka pulled away, suddenly conscious of the fact that Soubi was weak, vulnerable, unable to choose for himself. _"Oh, God,"_ thought Ritsuka, _"am I like Ritsu? Taking advantage of his pain?"_ The thought terrified him.

"I'm sorry," Ritsuka said, releasing Soubi and turning back to look at the tray of food. He picked up a piece of cheese and, without looking into Soubi's eyes, brought it to Soubi's lips – the same lips that moments before he had so eagerly hungered for. "You're weak, hungry. I shouldn't have…"

"Shouldn't have…?" Soubi whispered. "No. _Should_ have."

But Ritsuka still could not look at Soubi, instead concentrating far too much on the food so as not to be tempted to kiss Soubi once more. _ "I'm so sorry, Soubi," _Ritsuka thought sadly. _"I can't seem to do anything right, can I?"_

A half hour later the tray of food was empty, and Soubi's head was once more on Ritsuka's lap, his eyes closed. "I love you Ritsuka," Soubi said, his voice thick with sleep.

* * *

Author's Note: Yes, finally! Fluffiness! No limes yet –sorry, I just couldn't see that happening while Soubi is in a drug-induced coma and they are both imprisoned in a cell (lol, that WOULD be interesting, wouldn't it, though?). But yes, this story is supposed to be as realistic as possible, so I've restrained myself. Still, this chapter does mark the beginning of the "burn" in "slow burn." XD Plenty more to come – I promise! -Lex


	13. Eye of the Beholder

Chapter Thirteen: Eye of the Beholder

When Soubi awoke in Ritsuka's lap Ritsuka was sound asleep and still sitting up, his back against the wall of the cell. Judging by the cold dinners that sat on the floor nearby, Soubi guessed it must be late evening. Soubi smiled and gently shifted so that Ritsuka's head now lay in his own lap. Vaguely, he remembered Ritsuka's kiss.

"_The drugs are wearing off,"_ he thought. _"The main event is about to begin."_

He ran his fingers gently along Ritsuka's arm, pausing briefly over the place where Ritsuka had tattooed the name 'Soubi' in bold letters. _His_ name.

"Soubi-kun," his mother had once told him over a bowl of noodles, "your name means 'True Beauty'."

Only he had never felt beautiful.

Ritsu had once said Soubi's was a beautiful soul, but Soubi had filed that statement away in the drawer marked, 'Lies', and had thrown away the key. Those lies had found a place near the other parts of himself marked, 'Childhood' and 'Happiness', which he had also tried to forget. No, the only thing that was real to him was the boy – now the man – who had time and again shown him love, in spite of his betrayals (of which there had been many). _"Ritsuka,"_ he thought. _"I never deserved you. Haven't I done enough to prove to you I'm not worthy?"_

His fingers brushed Ritsuka's face now, and he remembered what Ritsuka had said only hours before, _"Did you really think I would let you go again?"_

"_I only hurt the people I love, or they hurt me," _he thought sadly, thinking of his parents. They had loved him, wanted only the best for him, given him a home where he felt safe and warm. And yet, in the end, he had been unable to prevent their deaths. He had been too weak. Too small. Too fragile.

And what had love ever done for Ritsuka? He had been betrayed by the brother he worshipped, abused by the mother he had longed to please, and ignored by the father he had once hoped to emulate. And still Ritsuka was here, risking everything to bring him back.

Ritsuka stirred in his arms, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. _"How could you ever think I wouldn't want you?" _Soubi thought, smiling back at him and brushing a lock of dark hair out of Ritsuka's face.

"Soubi," said Ritsuka, the fog of sleep lifting rapidly. "I was so worried about…" These words were cut short as Soubi kissed Ritsuka - a chaste kiss at first, then deepening as before - only this time, it was Soubi who pressed the issue. Lips parted and Ritsuka was left stunned, blinking up at Soubi.

Soubi grinned. "I was too tired before to tell you that this is what _I_ wanted as well," he said, feeling slightly guilty that he had so quickly given in to his need for his dark-haired sacrifice. He had told himself he would let Ritsuka go. But now…

"You…," Ritsuka replied hesitatingly, "_want_ this?"

"Always," Soubi replied emphatically. His eyes were once again clear blue, his brain more focused than it had been in weeks, perhaps months. "I wanted this when you were still a child, but…" His voice trailed off at the memory of Ritsu.

"Soubi," said Ritsuka, now sitting up and taking a deep breath, "you could _never_ have done to me what _he_ did to you. I know you too well." Ritsuka smiled broadly, looking quite relieved. He put his hands to Soubi's cheeks, stroking them gently with his thumbs. "But I'm glad to know it, all the same. I had worried that, last night, I had gone too far."

Soubi's reply was another kiss, more passionate this time. His hands ran through Ritsuka's dark hair, pulling the other man hungrily towards him so that their shoulders touched. Soubi lifted the dark hair from Ritsuka's neck and planted several feathery kisses on the sensitive skin there. Ritsuka gasped, his body responding in kind.

For several minutes, they both appeared to forget where they were, as well as the dire situation in which they found themselves. Finally, Ritsuka regained his senses enough to speak coherently. "I want you, Soubi," he moaned, "but we both know this isn't the time or the place. Are you well enough to walk?"

Soubi laughed softly. "I'm well enough for _many_ things," he replied with a sly grin, his body still vibrating softly from Ritsuka's touch. "But if you wish to leave here," – he stood up and held his hand out to Ritsuka – "then we will leave."

"They're waiting for us, aren't they?" Ritsuka asked, standing up. "It's not a coincidence the drugs have worn off."

Soubi squeezed Ritsuka's hand. "They intend to test you," Soubi said, looking at Ritsuka with a slightly dreamy look in his eyes.

"They intend to test _us_, Soubi," Ritsuka replied carefully. "Blank fighter and blank sacrifice." Soubi's eyes widened, but he said nothing. "I know, Soubi," Ritsuka replied. "It's why the name 'Loveless' doesn't appear anywhere on my body. It's why Seimei ordered you to come for me, after he faked his death. He knew it all along – what I was - and so did Minami Sora. They need us for something, although I'm not sure yet what that is."

"I am _yours_, Ritsuka," intoned Soubi. "I am your fighter, and no other's."

Ritsuka brought Soubi's hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "Do you trust me, Soubi?" Ritsuka asked, after a moment's pause.

"Implicitly," Soubi replied, without hesitation.

"Good," Ritsuka said softly, kissing Soubi once more for good measure. "And if I ask you to do something you disagree with, will you do it, regardless of the consequences?"

Soubi looked at Ritsuka inquisitively. "You mean, will I obey your orders?" he ventured.

"I…," Ritsuka said, realizing that was exactly what he was asking Soubi to do. "Yes, if it's necessary," he finished, resignedly.

"I will obey your orders, Ritsuka-kun."

"Alright. Then let's get the hell out of here."

* * *

The lock on the door took Soubi less than a minute to defeat. Ritsuka tried to banish from his mind the memory of Soubi breaking the window at Seven Voices and allowing Seimei to escape. _"We've had so little time to train. This will only work if we trust each other,"_ he reminded himself as he followed Soubi down the stone corridor to the stairs beyond.

Minutes later, they emerged onto the ground floor of the old building. There was no one in sight.

"_Could we both have been wrong?"_ thought Ritsuka. No. It had all been too easy. They were here, somewhere, waiting.

"This way," Ritsuka said, pointing down a corridor. "I came this way before. The front door is this direction."

Sure enough, they quickly reached the front doors, which were locked. Ritsuka nodded to Soubi, who again opened the lock with little effort. They pushed the heavy wood open and walked out into the sprawling grounds. Emerging from the gate between the high hedges onto a large open space, they saw Sora, seated on a small, wooden bench, clearly waiting for them.

"I had expected you sooner," he said ironically, looking quite pleased with himself. "I do hope you enjoyed your time together."

Ritsuka's expression darkened. "You've had your fun with us," he said, without attempting to disguise his irritation. "Now either let us go, or tell us what business you have with us."

"My, my," Sora replied, sighing theatrically. "I _have_ angered you, Aoyagi-kun. I probably should have listened to your brother. He warned me that taking Soubi from you would not please you. He said you were quite attached to him, in fact."

"Enough with the bullshit, Sora," Ritsuka retorted. "You have my full and undivided attention, for what it's worth. But if you don't get on with your little show, we'll be leaving."

"Of course, of course," Sora replied, looking to his left and nodding slightly. "But you must know that you have a part to play in my 'show', as you put it."

A young man and woman, both dark-haired and wiry, stepped out from behind one of the trees. Ritsuka immediately felt the not-so-subtle pull of an activated spell-fighter. He glanced at Soubi, who raised an eyebrow, but did not immediately respond.

"You expect us to fight them?" Ritsuka demanded, frowning at Sora.

"Of course," Sora answered with a soft smile. "And if you defeat them, I will let you both leave here."

"Why should I believe that?" Ritsuka replied, glancing at Soubi.

"I am a man of my word," Sora explained, "regardless of what you think of me at this moment."

Ritsuka brushed Soubi's hand with his own - a reminder, he hoped, of the trust he was placing in the other man. The edges of Soubi's mouth turned up slightly.

"Fighter systems engage," Ritsuka intoned, turning to face the two newcomers. "I am Ritsuka. He is Soubi. We fight together, of our own choice."

The woman laughed at Ritsuka's words and looked at Sora, who did not respond. She had clearly expected Ritsuka to identify his fighting unit as 'Loveless'. "I am Kali. He is Senda. _We_ are Nothingness," she replied, smiling and touching her palm to her partner's.

Sora's face disappeared, replaced now by familiar surroundings – the park, outside of Tokyo, where Ritsuka had first met Soubi. Ritsuka smiled at Soubi and nodded approvingly of Soubi's choice of backdrop. It was fitting that Soubi would choose to fight in a world that reflected where they had begun their relationship, and it gave Ritsuka courage for what he knew might come.

"Winds of change," the man chanted, "shatter their truth!" The wind began to blow and the backdrop appeared to twist and turn like an image on a computer screen being distorted. Ritsuka felt suddenly very dizzy, and grabbed onto Soubi's arm to steady himself.

"The willow tree's roots run deep," Soubi offered, stepping in front of Ritsuka, "defend and reestablish the truth!"

The background came back into focus, and Ritsuka felt the ground under his feet become solid once more. _"This is the same as before,"_ he thought with a shiver of fear, _"like the two boys in the park."_ He did not yet understand what the Nothingness fighter was trying to accomplish, but the unrest within his soul grew with every passing moment.

"Reject the truth, let the darkness pervade the empty places inside," the Nothingness fighter countered with a hint of a smile.

This time, it was not Ritsuka, but Soubi who reeled at the attack. _"What the hell?"_ he thought, reaching for Soubi's shoulder just in time to keep him from falling under the weight of it. "Soubi," he asked, "are you alright."

Soubi drew a deep breath and smiled back at Ritsuka. "I am fine," he replied, although he was ghostly pale.

"What kind of attack was _that_?" Ritsuka asked, not sure if he was still holding onto Soubi because Soubi needed him to, or whether he needed to feel Soubi for his own peace of mind.

"The attack was undoubtedly meant to reach _me_," Soubi replied, frowning.

"Horrors within, show them the truth," the fighter replied, before Soubi could respond. Again, the background of the part appeared to waver. Bits of blackness seemed to overtake the trees and the sky, like a puzzle missing key pieces.

Soubi blinked hard, trying to focus on the fighter pair. "The truth is absolute," he shouted back, clearly struggling to maintain control, "reality is here, within our grasp!" The park once more reasserted itself, but it appeared almost two-dimensional now. The birds and the wind through the leaves of the trees could no longer be heard.

"Pain runs deeper with emptiness," the Nothingness fighter said, taking advantage of Soubi's momentary lack of focus. "Cut to the heart and let it bleed!"

Soubi moaned and, despite Ritsuka's best efforts, dropped to his knees. "Soubi!" Ritsuka shouted, taking Soubi's hand. He could feel Soubi shaking.

"What are you doing to him?" he demanded of the Nothingness fighter, feeling the bile rise at the back of his throat.

It was the Nothingness sacrifice who spoke. "A fighter's only goal is to win the fight, Aoyagi Ritsuka," she said, obviously relishing Soubi's pain. "That you cannot see your fighter's greatest weakness is also your _own_ weakness."

"_What does she mean?" _Ritsuka thought desperately, turning his back on her and reaching for Soubi's face. His cheeks were stained with tears.

"_Nothingness. Pain running deeper with emptiness," _he repeated silently to himself. _"What sort of attack is this?"_

"Ritsuka," Soubi moaned. "I am sorry… I cannot…"

"Soubi!" Ritsuka shouted. "Soubi. Please tell me," he begged, looking into Soubi's blue eyes for the answer. "What is he doing to you?"

"I won't let you suffer," Soubi whispered, shaking his head. "Not again."

"I'm not suffering, Soubi," Ritsuka replied softly. "I'm fine. It's you that's…"

"I won't wait forever for your pathetic little love scene," the Nothingness fighter interrupted, raising his hand. "If you don't fight me, you will both die here."

Ritsuka turned around and pointed at the man. "Light of morning, break through the darkness and sear the flesh!" The Nothingness sacrifice cried out as beams of light flew towards her, making contact with her skin. Despite the attack, she remained on her feet.

"Darkness and pain are stronger," the fighter responded, his face now set in deep concentration. "You cannot defend!"

Ritsuka felt the weight of the fighter's attack hit him squarely on the chest. He staggered backwards several feet, stopping just before he touched Soubi. For a moment, it seemed as if the world around him simply vanished – as if the sunlight he had invoked had suddenly been snuffed out by an errant moon, much like an eclipse. The blackness was now complete.

"_What is this?"_ he wondered, instinctively reaching out for Soubi's shoulder to steady himself.

And then he understood. This attack – the same type of attack that had sent Soubi to his knees – it was _not_ a physical attack at all. It was something different; something far more insidious.

In the distance, he heard laughter – Nothingness – although he did not know if it was fighter or sacrifice. He struggled to see the world around him, but saw only blackness.

"_Nothingness,"_ he thought desperately. The name was no coincidence. Like 'Zero', the name signified the absence of thought and feeling. _"'Pain runs deeper with emptiness',"_ Ritsuka repeated to himself, trying to keep his mind from wandering to the darkness that surrounded him. _"What does it mean?"_

"Soubi!" he shouted. His voice seemed to die at his own lips, the sound failing to travel outside of himself. _"Like a void. Like emptiness. __Nothingness__. Only it's more than that."_

"Soubi!" he shouted again. Out there – _somewhere_ – he felt a stirring of life. _"No. Not life. __Spirit__. Soubi's spirit His soul."_

"_This is a test of me – of us," _Ritsuka thought, beginning to grasp what they were up against. And then, somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he finally understood: the test was not one of physical strength. No physical attack would defeat such an opponent. They were cold, unfeeling. _"Heartless. Soulless."_

He forced his eyes open wider still. There was nothing in the blackness but him - he could not see Soubi, but he could _feel_ him. "Soubi!" he shouted for a third time. "Soubi, take my hand!" He knelt in the nothingness, following Soubi's shoulder to his arm, and grabbing what he knew to be Soubi's hand. He still could not see Soubi, but his hand was warm and solid.

"Soubi," he said, now embracing Soubi. "I know you can hear me. I know you can feel my hand in yours. Please, Soubi," he pleaded, feeling hot tears run down his cheeks, "find your way back to me. We are real, but nothing else here is!"

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry for the slow update. Unfortunately, life and work have been pretty time-consuming, so my writing has had to take a backseat. I hope to update much more quickly next time! Thanks for all the reviews and favs! They are great motivation to write, as always. I really appreciate it!**

**So, lots of questions, some of which will be answered next chapter: What is the nature of Nothingness? Why is this fighting pair so different from any of the others Soubi and Ritsuka have fought? And why is it Soubi who feels the effects of the fighter's attacks more than Ritsuka? Why does it matter that Soubi and Ritsuka are "blank" fighter and sacrifice? The key to Septimal Moon lies in the answers to these questions.**

**Next chapter: "Inner Labyrinth (Soubi's Narrative)"**


	14. Inner Labyrinth

Chapter Fourteen: Inner Labyrinth

Soubi lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling as the cool light of early morning began to shake off the darkness. This was _his_ room, at his parents' house. He raised his hand, curious to see what it might look like; it was small – a child's hand. He put my hands to his face, exploring the soft skin there with wonder.

"Mommy?" he heard myself say. The voice that came from his lips was a child's voice. "Mommy?" he said, louder this time.

He heard footsteps in the hallway and the sound of his door opening.

"Soubi-kun?"

He began to cry and sat up in bed, his arms outstretched, hungry for her touch.

"What's the matter, Soubi-kun?" his mother asked, sitting on the bed and taking him in her arms.

"I had a bad dream, Mommy," he sobbed.

"It's all right, little one," she said, holding Soubi tighter. "It was just a dream."

* * *

Ritsuka wandered in the darkness for what seemed an eternity. Sometime after he had felt Soubi's hand, warm and solid in his, it had slipped from his grasp. He was alone in the emptiness now, and he struggled not to be afraid.

"_None of this is real,"_ he told himself stubbornly, finally sitting down of what he believed to be the ground. _"Soubi is here. Somewhere."_

As he sat in the pitch blackness, Ritsuka thought once more about Sora's fighters. They, like the fighters he and Soubi had met in Ueno Park, appeared to be using psychological attacks. It was the most frightening type of attack he could imagine, because it was something beyond his control – he could not train to repel such an attack, nor could he guess at the depths to which it could cause him pain. This, Ritsuka told himself, pushing back his own fear to find himself lost in this place, was a place of pure thought.

"Soubi's thoughts," he said out loud, his voice traveling no further than his own lips.

It made sense. The attack had been meant all along for Soubi. Sora _knew_ the depth of pain that lived in Soubi's soul, and he had targeted it, as surely as if he had taken a gun and fired it into Soubi's heart.

"_I have to find him,"_ Ritsuka thought. _"I have to bring him back, or we'll both die here."_ He had no doubts whatsoever that, without Soubi at his side, he would never leave this place. They were connected, the two of them. They could only leave this place of unreality together.

"_How do I find you, Soubi?"_ Ritsuka wondered. _"Where would you be?"_

Sitting there in the darkness, Ritsuka realized how little he truly knew about Soubi. This thought left him feeling slightly guilty. _"Whose fault is that?"_ he asked himself. _"It's not as though you haven't had time to ask him about himself or his past."_ Maybe, he realized, Soubi wouldn't have answered his questions, but without asking…

He remembered his time with Ritsu, the long days spent at Seven Voices training with Soubi's mentor. "The space in which a fighter chooses to battle is of his own creation," Ritsu had told Ritsuka. "He must control that space, or be subject to the will of his opponent."

With Ritsu, Ritsuka had rarely controlled the fighting space – Ritsu was far more experienced and skilled. But sometimes, on a rare occasion, the older man would _allow_ Ritsuka to take control. Ritsuka had always created a space comfortable to him – comfortable and familiar. And it was almost always a place where he and Semei had gone together – the park near their parents' house, the school yard, Semei's bedroom. It had never been a place where Ritsuka had felt safe with Soubi; Ritsuka was not willing to share that place or those memories with Ritsu.

"_Where would you go, Soubi?"_ wondered Ritsuka. _"Where do __you__ feel safe?"_

Ritsuka imagined Soubi's apartment outside of Tokyo, focusing on the details of the building, the paintings which had hung on its walls, the smell and feel of the place. He closed his eyes – not that it mattered much in the darkness – and conjured up an image of Soubi, cooking exotic dishes in the small kitchen, the feel of his head against Soubi's chest, the way Soubi's silken hair would always find its way into his eyes…

Ritsuka's eyes opened slowly. It was no longer dark; he was sitting on the floor of Soubi's apartment. He could smell the food, hear a car drive past the building outside. He stood up and walked to the kitchen, running his fingers along the edge of the countertop. It felt solid. Real. "Soubi?" he said, looking around now. "Soubi, are you here?"

But there was no answer. Of course Soubi wouldn't be here – this wasn't a place that was comforting to Soubi_._ "_I_ felt safe here," Ritsuka said, sighing audibly, "not _him_." He walked over to the couch and sat down, closing his eyes once more.

* * *

Soubi sat on the stairs, waiting for his mother to return. She had promised to tuck him in, and he had told his father he would stay in his bed and wait, but he found he couldn't. He felt anxious. He felt _afraid_. His mother would have laughed at him if she were there, and she would have told him he worried too much. But the truth was that Soubi didn't like the man named Minami-san – he didn't like that his mother spent so much time with him. He didn't understand what they did, why they were connected, what power he held over her.

Soubi had pressed his father for information that night, trying to find out more about Minami-san, but his father had just shrugged and said, "For such a little boy, you worry far too much, Soubi-kun." And, with that, he had taken Soubi up to his room and tucked him into bed. To be fair, he _had_ tried to lie in bed and wait, but after an hour, he had given up.

His father was downstairs, watching the news on TV. He listened for a few minutes, then grew bored hearing about Japanese politics and the upcoming elections. Earlier, he had sat on his father's lap and read a book about butterflies – Soubi's new obsession – but it was a school night, and his father had not let him stay up later.

There was a knock at the front door. Soubi scooted down the stairs a few more steps. From this vantage point, he could only see the top of his father's head.

"Who are you?" his father asked, after he had opened the door. He seemed surprised, perhaps because it was so late in the evening.

"Where is he?" came the cold response – a voice, not quite a man, but with a certain tone that sent shivers down Soubi's spine. "The boy."

Soubi heard the door close and another set of footsteps. "Who are you boys?" Soubi heard his father ask, his voice now belying anger and concern.

"Watch who you're calling 'boys', old man," came a second voice, slightly higher pitched than the first. Soubi saw a glint of light downstairs, as if the overhead fixture had caught something like metal or glass, and reflected it onto the wall.

"What the hell?" he heard his father say. Soubi tensed now; he could hear rising panic in his father's voice. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Where's the boy, old man?" the first voice repeated, more menacingly than before. "This knife ain't just for show, ya know."

"I don't know who you're talking about," Soubi's father said stubbornly. Soubi grabbed onto the wooden railing so tightly, his knuckles turned white.

Soubi heard a slap, then the sound of something hitting the wall. "If you don't tell us, we'll just kill you and look for him ourselves."

"_Daddy,"_ thought Soubi, _"they're hurting you…"_

"You've got the wrong address," he heard his father say. "Just leave. I'll give you whatever you want. I have some money in the study."

"We ain't interested in money, old man," came the voice of the second boy. "We want the kid. Soubi."

Soubi gasped. "He's upstairs, isn't he?" asked the first boy.

"There's no one upstairs," Soubi's father said, sounding frightened now. Another loud slapping sound, and a thud, this time.

Soubi shook, frozen in place, unsure of what to do. Then the door opened again. "I'm sorry I'm late…" his mother began, her voice faltering.

"Mommy!" shouted Soubi, now running down the steps.

"There he is," growled one of the boys.

"Soubi," shouted his mother, "run! Get out of here!" Soubi saw the other boy slap his mother's face. She leaned towards the wall, then swung her arm, hitting the boy with her elbow. He shouted in anger, then pulled a knife from his belt. That's when Soubi realized the other boy was armed, as well.

"Bitch!" the boy shouted, stabbing Soubi's mother in the stomach.

"Soubi," she moaned. "Get out of here!"

"Mommy…" he whimpered, his expression one of horror and fear. Blood trickled out of her mouth.

Soubi's father struggled to his feet, and grabbed one of the boys around the neck, choking him. "I don't think so!" shouted the boy who had just stabbed Soubi's mother, lunging and hitting Soubi's father in the upper chest. He fell against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor.

"Soubi," he whispered. "Save yourself. Get out of the house…"

"Mommy… Daddy…" Tears now ran down Soubi's face as he back slowly up the stairs. Where would he go that they couldn't find him?

"Get the kid," said one of the boys to the other.

Soubi now turned and scrambled as quickly as he could to the top of the stairs, looking around desperately for a place to hide. He could hear footsteps on the stairs, and he brushed the tears from his eyes. He ran into the spare bedroom, closing the door behind him and locking it from the inside, then he opened the closet door. Inside, there was a small opening that led to the attic storage area. He pushed the wood that covered the opening away and, closing the closet door behind him, stepped through the opening and into the dimly lit space beyond and replaced the wood behind him.

"_Mommy! Daddy!" _he thought, as he shivered in the darkness. _"Please help me!"

* * *

_

Ritsuka, once more in the darkness, clenched his fists in frustration. _"Soubi! Soubi, where are you?" _he thought, reaching out, imagining Soubi's hand once more in his own. He opened his eyes to find himself sitting on a wooden floor in a small, dusty attic. In the corner of the attic sat a small boy with shoulder-length, dirty blond hair.

"Soubi!" he shouted. Relief flooded him to see Soubi there. "Thank God I found you!"

The boy did not respond, but hugged his knees tighter around him. He looked terrified. Tears ran silently down his small face

"Soubi!" Ritsuka repeated, standing up as best he could so as not to hit his head on the rafters and walking over to the boy. "Soubi! It's me. Ritsuka!"

The boy did not respond – in fact, Ritsuka was sure this young Soubi had not heard a word he had said. _"He doesn't sense my presence,"_ Ritsuka thought.

There was the sound of pounding on a door or wall nearby. With each pound, Soubi shook visibly. "Fucking brat!" Ritsuka heard a voice say from nearby. The sound was muffled, but the words were clear enough. The pounding went on for several minutes, until finally there was an audible crash – the sound, Ritsuka guessed, of a locked door having been broken in.

"No, please," whispered Soubi, his tears continuing to fall.

"Soubi," Ritsuka said, reaching out for the young boy. "It's all right. None of this is real. I'm here…" But his voice trailed off as his hand passed right through the boy, as if the boy were real, but Ritsuka was only the ghost of a person.

This time, it was Ritsuka's turn to shiver. _"How do I make this real for me, too?" _he wondered, trying to gather his thoughts, even as the sound of a struggle was heard outside the attic.

"Soubi," he intoned once more. "Soubi. It's me, Ritsuka. I'm here. Take my hand." Soubi did not even look in his direction.

"_Damn!"_ thought Ritsuka, frustrated and at a loss to know what to do.

At that moment, the small entrance to the attic space opened. Soubi scampered further into the recesses of the storage area, trying to hide behind some boxes. Ritsuka saw a head of blond hair appear through the opening. Minami Ritsu.

"Soubi-kun?" Ritsu said softly, stepping into the attic. Soubi peered from around the boxes but remained perfectly quiet, still shivering uncontrollably. "Soubi-kun, it's me, Minami-san," he said. "It's all right. They won't hurt you. I made sure of it." He paused for a moment, then said, "Please, Soubi-kun. Come with me. It's going to be fine."

Soubi began to sob uncontrollably.

The scene shifted, and Ritsuka found himself by the front door of Soubi's home. Blood was splattered against the walls. Four bodies lay, unmoving, at the bottom of the stairs. He felt sick, even though he knew none of this was real. Ritsu, carrying Soubi, walked down the stairs.

"Don't look now, Soubi," Ritsu said softly, patting the boy's head. But Soubi ignored the older man and looked towards the doorway. His face paled, and he screamed…

* * *

A little boy stood in a graveyard full of dark stone monuments. Ritsuka immediately recognized the Agatsuma name on the stone in front of the boy. At its side, a wooden sotoba* was inscribed with the names of Soubi's parents, to be engraved later on the stone monument.

Ritsuka did not recognize many of the people who were walking out of the graveyard, but he noticed that some of them, although quite young, walked in pairs. _"Fighters and sacrifices,"_ he thought, _"come to pay their respects to Soubi's mother."_ At the end, though, it was just Ritsu, left standing by Soubi's side.

After the others had long gone, Ritsu wiped away tears and offered his hand to the small boy. Soubi refused it angrily. He rounded on Ritsu and shouted, "They're dead because of _you_!" Ritsu's face remained impassive, but there was deep pain in his green eyes. "I want to be by myself," Soubi said, hands on his hips, scowling through his own tears.

"I will wait at the gate, Soubi-kun," he said simply, his jaw tensing as he walked away from the boy.

Soubi waited a few moments, then knelt before his parent's grave. Tears fell from his eyes onto the cold stone below, and he began to sob in earnest, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. By now, Ritsuka felt his eyes burn with unshed tears – both for the small boy standing there by himself, as well as the man he loved.

"Soubi," he whispered, watching the boy wracked with pain. "Soubi. Please. Let me share your pain. Let me into your heart."

The little boy turned and stood up once more, wiping his eyes and looking to the place where Ritsuka stood. For a moment, Ritsuka was sure that Soubi was looking right through him. But then Soubi's eyes met Ritsuka's.

"Are you a… ghost?" Soubi asked.

Ritsuka took a deep breath, afraid that if he spoke now, he might lose Soubi once more. Finally, gathering his courage, he said, "No, Soubi. I am not a ghost."

"I know you," the boy said, trying to remember where he had seen Ritsuka before.

"Yes," Ritsuka replied. "You know me well, Soubi."

"Mommy and Daddy are dead," the boy said, looking down for a brief instant. "I… I couldn't save them."

"No one could save them, Soubi," Ritsuka said, feeling hot tears on his cheeks.

"I _could_ have saved them!" Soubi shouted, his face twisted with pain. "If I had been stronger!"

Ritsuka walked over to Soubi and knelt down beside him so that their faces were at the same level. "No, Soubi," Ritsuka said, "there was nothing you could have done. You were just a child."

"But they died because of _me_!" Soubi yelled, turning his back on Ritsuka, his shoulders trembling.

"No, Soubi," Ritsuka said gently. "They died because there is evil in this world."

Soubi did not reply, but continued to cry, sniffling and choking on his own tears.

"Soubi," Ritsuka pressed. "Soubi. Let me share your pain. Please, Soubi, open your heart to me. I love you, Soubi. I want to stay by your side, forever."

"Forever doesn't exist," Soubi replied. "Forever ends, and all that's left is emptiness." His voice was still a child's, but the words were not. "How can I know that you won't leave me, just like they did?"

"You _can't_ know that," Ritsuka answered. "But they are still in your heart, aren't they?"

Soubi thought for a moment, then said, "I guess so."

"I will always be in your heart, Soubi, even if I can no longer be by your side."

"But I don't want to be alone," responded the small boy, turning around and looking into Ritsuka's eyes again. "I'm so tired of being alone."

"I won't leave you, Soubi," said Ritsuka. "I don't want to be alone anymore, either." He reached out his hand. "Please, Soubi," he implored. "Take my hand. Come back with me. Let me give you my love for as long as I can."

Soubi reached out tentatively and Ritsuka's fingers closed around the small boy's. "That's it, Soubi. Now let me take you home."

* * *

_The hand that Ritsuka now held was no longer a child's. For a moment, Ritsuka stood, hand in hand with Soubi. He reached up for what was now the familiar face of the man he loved with his free hand, and caressed Soubi's cheek with lithe fingers._

_"Soubi," he whispered, his fingers now tracing the lips he so longed to kiss, "we are stronger together."_

_"Thank you, Ritsuka-kun," Soubi said, smiling now. He pulled Ritsuka to him and kissed him deeply, closing his eyes to feel the other man's warm body against his. "Thank you," he repeated, "for taking me home."_

* * *

Soubi felt the cool wind on his cheeks, and quickly got to his feet. "Ritsuka!" he said, reaching out a hand to the dark-haired man who lay on the ground. Ritsuka blinked, took Soubi's hand and then stood up. "Stand behind me," said Soubi, his face now completely focused, his eyes now fixed unwaveringly on the Nothingness fighter.

"Soubi," said Ritsuka, looking concerned.

But Soubi smiled. "You are my sacrifice, Ritsuka," he said with startling conviction. "I will fight for you, and you alone. And I _will not_ lose."

* * *

*A typical Japanese grave is usually a family grave (Japanese: 墓,haka) consisting of a stone monument, with a place for flowers, incense, and water in front of the monument and a chamber or crypt underneath for the ashes. The date of the erection of the grave and the name of the person who purchased it may be engraved on the side of the monument. The names of the deceased are often but not always engraved on the front of the monument. The names of the deceased may also be engraved on the left side, or on a separate stone in front of the grave. Often, the name is also written on a sotoba, a separate wooden board on a stand behind or next to the grave. These sotoba may be erected shortly after death, and new ones may be added at certain memorial services.

Courtesy: Wikipedia


	15. Sweet Respite

Chapter Fifteen: Sweet Respite

Ritsuka did as he was told, taking his place behind Soubi; he knew better than to try to fight Sora's team in earnest on his own – Soubi was, and had always been his fighter. Still, the shock of learning of the true manner in which Soubi's parents had died left him feeling shaken.

"_Why did Ritsu lie? He said they died in a car accident…"_ He was sure it had been Ritsu who had told Soubi to keep his parents' murders a secret, just as sure as he was that Ritsu held many other secrets he had chosen not to share.

"I'm glad to see you've rejoined the fight, Soubi-kun," Sora said, his voice bringing Ritsuka back from his thoughts.

Soubi, ignoring the older man, narrowed his eyes and said, "Transform the horizon. Awaken!"

Ritsuka felt the slight dizziness he always felt as the world around them shifted into the familiar fighting space of the park where he and Soubi had first spoken, not far from Ritsuka's school. He could feel Soubi's strength in this place, and he knew with certainty that the Nothingness fighters would not be able to drag Soubi back into his subconscious.

"Illuminate the evening sky! Awaken!"

"Reestablish the night," the Nothingness fighter responded to defend, "permeate!"

The two spells met several feet in front of where the Nothingness sacrifice stood. She staggered slightly, looking suddenly pale. The Nothingness fighter turned to assess her injuries. "Damn you!" she shouted at her partner. "Don't look at me, look at him!"

But it was too late. Soubi, his body tense with power, launched his attack before the fighter could defend. This time, the Nothingness sacrifice fell to her knees, gagging and spluttering, pulling at her neck, where several heavy chains had wrapped themselves around her.

"Envelop!" Soubi shouted. The chains began to visibly tighten. Ritsuka looked at Soubi with concern; Soubi's body was tense with fury. "Abolish the night!"

The Nothingness sacrifice clawed at the chains, gasping for air.

"Soubi!" Ritsuka shouted. "Soubi, that's enough! You'll kill her."

"She'd have seen _you_ dead," Soubi retorted, pulling the chains still tighter.

"Soubi," Ritsuka said, putting his hand on Soubi's right arm, "that's enough. Don't you see? It's what _he_ wants!" Ritsuka glared at Sora, who was watching them all with obvious interest.

"I…" began Soubi.

"Soubi," whispered Ritsuka, tightening his grip on Soubi's forearm. "Please. We've won. Don't give Sora what he wants."

Soubi took a deep breath, releasing it slowly and dropping his arm to his side. Ritsuka closed his eyes in relief, feeling his heart pound wildly in his chest.

"I am impressed," Sora said, after a few moments of silence.

"We've played your little game, Minami-san," Ritsuka said, his upper lip curled slightly in anger. "Now let us go."

"Of course," Sora answered, glancing over with contempt at the Nothingness pair, "I gave you my word." The fighter was now bent over his sacrifice. The chains had vanished. "Come!" he commanded the Nothingness pair.

"Minami-sama," the Nothingness fighter said, looking dejected, "we…"

"This is not the time or place," Sora said, between clenched teeth. "I will deal with you both later."

"Let's go, Soubi," Ritsuka said. "We're done here." Soubi nodded.

"Stay away from him, Minami-san," Soubi warned, as he turned to follow Ritsuka down the path to the front gates, "or I will kill you as surely as I would have killed them."

* * *

"Eat," Ritsuka ordered Soubi, with a frown. Soubi raised an eyebrow and smiled coyly at Ritsuka. "Are you uncomfortable with the role reversal?" Ritsuka added with a smirk.

"Not particularly," Soubi replied, peering at Ritsuka over his wire-rim glasses. "I'm actually enjoying it."

"Hmm," Ritsuka murmured, doing his best to look motherly. "You won't enjoy it as much if I force feed you. You look terrible, Soubi."

"The drugs they pumped into me didn't do much for my appetite," Soubi admitted, taking his chopsticks and fishing a long strand of noodles out of the soup bowl. He put his mouth to the noodle and sucked at it suggestively, watching Ritsuka squirm.

Ritsuka sighed and shook his head in mock irritation. "What _am_ I going to do with you, Agatsuma-san?" he asked.

Soubi swallowed the noodles and grinned. "I could think of a few things you could do _to_ me…" he teased. In spite of himself, Ritsuka felt his face grow hot with embarrassment. "Of course, I'd understand if you didn't really mean those things you said to me in the cell," Soubi added. His words were lighthearted, meant playfully, but Ritsuka could detect a real note of insecurity underneath.

"I meant what I said," Ritsuka replied, his expression entirely serious. Soubi smiled, then went back to working on his udon with renewed interest.

They had returned from Sapporo only the night before, along with Kio, Youji and Natsuo. Ritsuka had insisted on returning to Tokyo and his apartment, rather than Soubi's. School would be back in session in less than a week, and Ritsuka had decided that he would take a semester off, rather than make any final decisions about where – and with _whom_ – he would live.

Kio, guessing that Ritsuka and Soubi needed some time together, had returned to his own apartment, after having been reassured that Ritsuka would make sure Soubi got some rest. After a bit of persuasion, Youji and Natsuo had returned to Seven Voices the next morning, leaving Soubi and Ritsuka alone for the first time since Soubi had forcibly been taken to Hokkaido. In spite of his confession of love to Soubi, and Soubi's own admission, Ritsuka now found himself feeling like a teenager all over again: nervous and uncomfortably awkward around Soubi. It was easier, Ritsuka admitted to himself as he played absentmindedly with his own bowl of noodles, to nurse Soubi back to health than to think about where their relationship might be headed.

"Let's take a walk," Soubi said, a few minutes later, having finished his food without further comment.

"But you…" Ritsuka protested, looking concerned.

"Could _use_ the fresh air," Soubi interrupted, smiling warmly at the other man.

Ritsuka sighed softly, knowing Soubi was right – it would do them both good to get out of the apartment.

It was early afternoon, and the weather was quite mild. Soubi, taking the lead, walked briskly to the nearest commuter station and, stepping up to the ticket counter, bought them two tickets for the Tokyo suburbs. "Where are we going?" Ritsuka asked, as they boarded a train several minutes later.

"You'll see," Soubi answered, with a slight smile.

An hour later, Soubi was grinning broadly as he took Ritsuka by the hand and led him off the train.

"Yomiuri Land?" Ritsuka asked, laughing softly and shaking his head. "I haven't been back since I came here with Yuiko, Yayoi and the others as a kid."

"Then it's high time," replied Soubi.

Five minutes later, they were swinging in a gondola on the amusement park's huge Ferris wheel. The sky was bright and clear and, in the distance, they could clearly see Mount Fuji, silhouetted in blue. Ritsuka found himself laughing.

"What's so funny?" Soubi asked, smiling at his companion.

"You," laughed Ritsuka. "You never did get me alone on this thing, years ago, in spite of the fact that you stalked me all the way here!"

"I did _not_ stalk you," replied Soubi indignantly. "I just wanted to be sure nothing happened to you."

"Right!" Ritsuka said, biting his upper lip and shaking his head. "You were jealous."

"Hn," Soubi responded, folding his arms across his chest. "The way that Hawatari girl tried to kiss you, I had a right to be."

"She _didn't_ try to kiss me, you idiot," Ritsuka countered, chuckling. "She just fell on top of me, that's all."

"As _if_."

"You're still jealous, aren't you?" asked Ritsuka, stepping across the gondola so that he stood over Soubi.

"Am not," Soubi said.

"Are…" began Ritsuka, but the gondola swayed, and he found himself suddenly in Soubi's arms, their lips pressed together.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're cuter when you don't speak?" Soubi ventured.

"No," Ritsuka answered, feeling his heart begin to race.

Soubi stroked Ritsuka's hair. "Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?" Ritsuka replied, slightly breathless at the other man's touch.

"For coming after me," Soubi said.

"As if I wouldn't," said Ritsuka, shaking his head and sighing. He turned and looked into Soubi's eyes. "I told you, Soubi," he added, "I love you. I want to be with you."

* * *

They returned to Ritsuka's apartment well after dark, having eaten a late dinner by the water. Ritsuka put a pot of water to boil, ordering Soubi to rest on the couch. The older man still looked slightly pale, and Ritsuka still found himself worrying that Soubi had not yet recovered from his ordeal at Sora's hands.

Ritsuka brought two cups of tea over to the couch, handing one to Soubi and sitting down beside him. Soubi merely smiled at him knowingly and sipped his tea.

They had not spoken when they were at the park about what had transpired in Sora's holding cell only days before, and Ritsuka, in spite of his declaration of love, found himself feeling a bit like a teenager on his first date. _"Where do we go from here?"_ he thought, swirling the tea in his cup so as to avoid Soubi's blue eyes.

As it turned out, Soubi quite literally took things into his own hands. "Let me take that," he said, putting his hand over Ritsuka's and taking the nearly-empty tea cup from him a few minutes later. The feel of Soubi's skin against Ritsuka's made Ritsuka's heart beat faster. Ritsuka only nodded, not knowing what to say or how to respond.

Soubi smiled warmly, setting both cups on the floor and then putting his hand to Ritsuka's face. "Are you afraid of me, Ritsuka?" he murmured.

"I…" Ritsuka stammered, "no…it's just that…"

"You've never been with a man before, have you?" Soubi asked.

"I…no."

Soubi pulled his hand from Ritsuka's face. He had expected the answer, of course. Still, he felt compelled to press the issue further – to make Ritsuka understand that he would be happy just knowing the other man felt so strongly.

"When I was in that cell," Soubi explained, "I told myself that I wouldn't give in to my desire for you and that, if I ever were to escape that miserable place, I would let you go." Ritsuka started to speak, but Soubi touched his fingers to Ritsuka's lips and shook his head. "Please, he said, "let me explain."

Ritsuka nodded.

"I said I'd let you go, Ritsuka, because I was afraid of hurting you," he continued, his eyes fixed on Ritsuka's. "You had already been through so much – who was I to cause you more pain? But, when you found me, lost within myself, held captive by my own pain, I came to feel something of _your_ heart, as well. And, finally," he finished, "I understood."

"What did you understand, Soubi?" Ritsuka asked.

Soubi smiled. "I understood that, as much as I have fought my feelings for you, as much as I told myself that we were forced together because of events beyond our control, we were _meant_ to be together. I don't necessarily mean as lovers – but as companions. A partnership. Fighter and sacrifice. _Friends._" He shifted slightly on the couch, leaning his head back against the wall and taking a deep breath. "I would be content just to keep things as they are, Ritsuka. If that's what you want, it would be more than enough for me."

For a few seconds, Ritsuka did not respond, and Soubi wondered if he had hurt the younger man's feelings. But, to Soubi's relief and surprise, Ritsuka took Soubi's hand in his. "My beautiful Soubi," he whispered, his eyes wide and dark with emotion, "how ironic it is that _I_ am called the 'sacrifice'." He paused, reaching for Soubi and pulling him against his shoulder, stroking his long, blond hair with his graceful fingers.

"But you don't have to sacrifice for me this time," Ritsuka continued, breathing in Soubi's scent – the scent of jasmine and lime. "I may not be experienced in the ways of loving a man, but I have loved you with all my heart since I was a child. It's your _soul_ that I love, Soubi. And without that soul, I'd be empty. I knew that, in finding you, I'd want to possess that soul. I'm not afraid of sharing my body. It doesn't matter to me if you are a man – it only matters to me that you are Soubi – the person I love."

Soubi's eyes welled up with tears. "Ritsuka…" he whispered.

"Promise me you won't push me away," Ritsuka said.

"I promise," came the gentle response.

"Then let me love you, Soubi," Ritsuka pressed. "Please."

Soubi's answer was to claim Ritsuka's lips hungrily. Ritsuka sighed audibly to feel those soft lips against his own. He opened his mouth to Soubi's demand, feeling Soubi's tongue seek his and tasting the sweetness of Soubi's mouth. When the kiss ended, Ritsuka boldly reached for Soubi's shirt, unbuttoning it with deft fingers and rewarding his efforts with the feel of his hands upon Soubi's bare skin. Soubi moaned and closed his eyes. Ritsuka took off his own shirt and, tossing it onto the floor, pulled Soubi against him, reveling in the feel of his body against the other man's.

In the dim light of the apartment, Ritsuka could see visible scars on Soubi's body – some recent, others long-healed. "I am hardly perfect," Soubi said, his voice low.

"You are beautiful, Soubi," Ritsuka answered without hesitation. "Let me show you." His initial fear now completely vanishing, he pushed Soubi onto the couch and tenderly kissed each scar, tracing the outlines of the marks with his tongue and reaching around Soubi's back to support him.

"Ritsuka, I…" Soubi protested.

"Shh," Ritsuka hushed, "please let me…I've wanted to touch you for so long." He took Soubi's face in his hands and kissed him once more, and Soubi laced his long arms through Ritsuka's pulling him close. Ritsuka found the sensitive spot on Soubi's neck, right beneath his ear, and licked it. Soubi shivered and Ritsuka bit tenderly on the lobe. "Show me," Ritsuka whispered.

Soubi's response was to unfasten the waist of Ritsuka's pants and push them down, caressing the small of Ritsuka's back with warm hands and moving lower to find the soft skin that covered the hard muscle there. Ritsuka gasped at the touch, feeling his body respond in kind.

"Stand up," Soubi instructed with a childlike smile. Ritsuka obliged, stepping out of his clothing so that he stood naked before Soubi. Soubi's eyes traveled appreciatively over Ritsuka's body, then he, too, shed his clothing. He reached out and took Ritsuka's arm and, turning it slightly, kissed the name "Soubi," tattooed on Ritsuka's arm. "I cannot tell you how much this means to me," he whispered. Ritsuka said nothing, but his face lit up with pleasure to hear Soubi say it.

"Are you sure you want this?" Soubi asked.

"Yes, Soubi," Ritsuka replied, "as sure as I've ever been of anything in my life. I love you, Soubi."

"I love you, Ritsuka," came the reply. "Let me show you."

And there, in the small apartment on the outskirts of Tokyo lit only by the streetlamps outside the window, they made love until they were breathless and spent, falling asleep intertwined on the couch.

* * *

As the first light of morning illuminated the apartment, Ritsuka stirred in Soubi's arms. His head lay against Soubi's chest, and for some time, he did nothing but listen to the steady beat of Soubi's heart.

"_Soubi," _he thought fervently. _"Together, we truly __are__ far stronger."

* * *

_

**Author's Note: Yes, lime, NOT lemon. Remember, this story is rated "T." ;-) If you want to read the lemon, it's available on my DeviantArt account. I've put a link to the uncut version on my profile or you can find me under my pen name there, Rukilex.**

**A little fluff as my Thanksgiving gift to you all, to go with your turkey and pumpkin pie if you're celebrating. A brief interlude of peace for Soubi and Ritsuka, before we head towards the end of the story. And I, personally, am thankful to everyone who has been reviewing the story and to Kouga Yun for her incredible characters, whom I adore. Ritsuka and Soubi forever! -Lex**


	16. Living Memory

Chapter Sixteen: Living Memory

"Soubi?" Ritsuka's head lay against Soubi's chest, his eyes closed. It was early morning and the sun had just begun to rise over the city. For nearly a week since arriving in Tokyo, they had done little but talk, sleep and make love. Ritsuka could not remember ever having been happier.

"Hmm?"

"We have to find Seimei."

"I know," Soubi answered. There was real sadness in his voice. "I just wish…"

Ritsuka interrupted Soubi by pressing his lips to the other man's. "It's the only way, Soubi," Ritsuka whispered. "The only way we'll ever live in peace. If we don't find him, he'll come looking for us. He and Minami Sora."

Soubi pushed Ritsuka onto the bed and rolled on top of him, leaning on his elbows and brushing dark hair from Ritsuka's eyes. "You never _were_ a child, were you?" he asked playfully, although there was more than a hint of pain in his words. "You were always so" – he hesitated a moment then, smiling, finished – "responsible."

"That's not fair," protested Ritsuka. "You know we have to do this. Better to face my brother on our own terms, than have him surprise us."

"Responsible _and_ intelligent," Soubi concluded, sighing theatrically. A dark, curly lock fell into Ritsuka's eyes, and Soubi brushed it away with deft fingers. "But," he added, "can't we wait until after breakfast to talk about this?" He grinned coyly. "I can think of far better things to do until then than talk about your brother."

Ritsuka smiled and shook his head; he was perfectly willing to put off the conversation for a few more hours. "Only if you promise to make something really delicious for breakfast."

Soubi chuckled, lowering his head and trailing his lips over Ritsuka's neck. Ritsuka shivered. "I can think of something very tasty _I'd_ like to have for breakfast."

"Soubi…" Ritsuka warned, suppressing a laugh.

"All right," Soubi answered, running his fingers through Ritsuka's hair. "But first, I'll help myself to a really late snack…" He worked his hands behind Ritsuka's back and pulled Ritsuka towards him. This time, Ritsuka laughed – a clear, bell-like laugh that made Soubi shiver in anticipation.

"I love you, Soubi," Ritsuka murmured against the soft skin of Soubi's neck, delighting in the warmth he found there and wishing he _could_ forget about his brother, once and for all.

_But how do you forget the brother you idolized, the brother you loved more than yourself? How can you __not_ _forgive him?_ The answers might come later, but for now Ritsuka gave himself to his physical desire as Soubi sat, straddling Ritsuka's lean torso.

_You are so beautiful Soubi,_ Ritsuka thought, smiling as he looked up and running his hands over the lean muscle of Soubi's chest. _I only wish you could see it for yourself._

Soubi grabbed Ritsuka's shoulders, claiming a kiss and taking Ritsuka's breath away. "Stop thinking," he commanded the younger man, "and kiss me again."

* * *

_Ritsuka lay on a bed in a sterile looking room, staring up at the ceiling. He tried to move his arms and legs, but they felt like lead weights, immovable. He felt strange, half-asleep, as if he were somehow disconnected from his body. He vaguely remembered going to the park with his brother…_

"_Seimei?" There was no answer. Then, after what seemed like hours, he heard the sound of a door opening and footsteps. "Seimei?" he murmured, "is that you?" He felt small and insignificant. Helpless._

"_Seimei's here, Ritsuka-kun," he heard a man say. "If you're a good boy, he'll come see you. Now just relax."_

_He felt the prick of a needle in his arm, and then the sensation that he was underwater, drowning. He tried to breathe, coughing and spluttering, trying to swim to the surface, but it grew dark, and fear grew within him, clawing at his stomach and chest._

"_Seimei! Seimei, please, help me!" he heard himself shout._

"_A bit more, I think," he heard the man say, from far away. Another needle prick, then he could breathe again. His body felt as though it were floating on air; his arms and legs tingled faintly._

"_How much longer? They'll be expecting us."_

"Seimei?"_ he thought, recognizing the new voice. His mouth would not form the words._

"_He's making progress. A few more hours, then you can take him home," came the response._

"Seimei? Seimei!"_ He knew they couldn't hear him. _"What are we doing here, Seimei? What is this place?"

"_Make sure he doesn't remember," he heard his brother say. The tone of Seimei's voice was cold, and it frightened Ritsuka. He tried to shout, but the room vanished, and he felt himself falling into blackness. The tingling in his limbs was now pain, unlike anything he had ever felt before._

"No,"_ he thought, as the pain and the darkness engulfed him. _"Please! Seimei! Make them stop!"_ But he could no longer hear his brother's voice. The only sound was of his own screams, piercing emptiness.

* * *

_

"No," moaned Ritsuka, shaking violently, still half asleep. "Seimei! Seimei!"

"Ritsuka," he heard Soubi say, as strong arms wrapped themselves around him reassuringly, "it's all right. It was just a dream."

"Seimei," Ritsuka gasped, realizing he was back in his own bedroom. The sun had now fully risen and was peering through the window by the bed. Ritsuka was covered in sweat, his skin clammy.

"Ritsuka," Soubi repeated, more forcefully this time.

"Soubi?" The voice was tentative, almost childlike. He blinked, trying to focus on Soubi's face.

"I'm here, Ritsuka," Soubi said, brushing dark hair from Ritsuka's forehead. "Are you all right?"

"I..." Ritsuka whispered, trying to gather his thoughts, "I must have been dreaming. I..." His voice trailed off and he frowned, trying to remember the dream. Soubi gathered Ritsuka in his arms and Ritsuka sighed.

"What were you dreaming about?" Soubi asked, his voice gentle.

"I...I don't remember," Ritsuka replied, shivering again. "All I remember was that I was frightened. Alone."

"It's not surprising, I guess, given your decision to seek out Seimei," Soubi said, stroking Ritsuka's hair. "I can't say I'm looking forward to it, either."

"Yeah," Ritsuka answered, suddenly wishing they could just stay here, forever. No Seimei, no Minami...no fighter or sacrifice. _Only you know it's far too late for that now,_ he told himself.

"So how about some breakfast?" Soubi ventured, releasing Ritsuka and getting out of bed. _"_I still owe you, remember?"

"That'd be great," Ritsuka replied with a wan smile.

"You'll feel better with a little food in your stomach," Soubi said, pulling on a pair of jeans and leaning down to give Ritsuka another light kiss. "Promise."

"Thanks, Soubi," Ritsuka answered, taking a deep breath and rubbing his eyes. For a minute or two, he just watched Soubi dress, the tightness in his chest abating with the ordinariness of the act. _It was just a dream,_ he told himself, feeling his body relax. _I'm just worried, that's all...

* * *

_

An hour later, Ritsuka sat at the table, watching Soubi cook. The smell of steaming rice wafted through the small apartment, mingled with the pungent odor of natto*. Soubi picked up a square skillet from the stove, turning it slightly to spread the raw egg for the sweet omelet. Then, replacing the pan, he added pureed fish with soy sauce, covering the surface evenly and rolling the egg over the filling. Ritsuka's stomach growled audibly and Soubi turned his head around and grinned.

"You're spoiling me," Ritsuka said, as Soubi arranged the cut omelet pieces on a plate and spooned the hot rice into bowls. Ritsuka ladled out two bowls of miso soup and looked appreciatively at the now full table.

"It's always more enjoyable to cook for an appreciative audience," Soubi replied as he poured their green tea. "Besides, I'm guessing you have a trip to Seven Voices planned. It's always better to face Ritsu on a full stomach."

Ritsuka's face grew somber.

"I am no longer that child, Ritsuka," Soubi said, smiling reassuringly.

"But…" Ritsuka began.

"No, Ritsuka," Soubi interrupted. "That was a long time ago."

"I still don't understand how he could treat you like that," Ritsuka said, picking at his rice a little too vigorously and causing some of it to fall onto the table. "I don't understand how you can dismiss what he did."

"There is nothing _to_ understand, Ritsuka-kun," Soubi replied, his face untroubled. "We all have our flaws."

"Abusing a child is more than a flaw," Ritsuka replied. He was unnerved by Soubi's calm response – it seemed strained, forced even. Did Soubi think so little of himself that he could ignore what Ritsu had done?

"No, Ritsuka," Soubi answered, guessing at Ritsuka's thoughts, "I don't believe what he did was right. And I _don't _think I deserved it."

"Then why didn't you ever confront him?" Ritsuka demanded.

Soubi sighed. "What good would that have done? You've seen him – you know he punishes himself for it…"

"I've only seen that he thinks he was justified," Ritsuka retorted, interrupting. "He told me you were 'different'."

"In some sense, that's true. He taught me what it meant to be a fighter, Ritsuka. He taught me how to give everything of myself for my sacrifice."

"It was still wrong, Soubi," Ritsuka insisted. "He justifies hurting you – _using_ you!"

"That's not true," Soubi replied in a gentle voice. "He knows what he did was wrong and he still blames himself, all these years later. Why do you think it took him so long to accept Nagisa's affection? What would it accomplish to remind him of something he can never forgive himself for?"

"But what about _you_, Soubi?" Ritsuka pressed.

"I was angry," Soubi admitted. "I hated him then, but I loved him just as much. I punished him by not returning to the school. But now…" – he hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words to explain – "now, I have no need to hate him." Soubi reached across the table and took Ritsuka's hand.

"Soubi," Ritsuka whispered, his eyes filling with tears.

"You are afraid to meet Seimei again, aren't you, Ritsuka?" Soubi asked. "But you want to see him, don't you?"

"Yes," Ritsuka admitted, swallowing hard. _Love and hate,_ he thought.

"You see?" Soubi asked, squeezing Ritsuka's hand. "It's never that simple, is it?"

"No."

"Don't worry, Ritsuka," Soubi said, kissing Ritsuka's hand. "Together, we are more than strong enough." Then, allowing Ritsuka's fingers to slip through his own, Soubi added, "And it's high time you ate your breakfast, Ritsuka-kun. Or do you want me to force feed you?"

Ritsuka smiled, remembering speaking those same words to Soubi only days before. "Itadakimasu!" he said, letting the feeling of warmth from Soubi's fingers travel through his body._ He's right. We are stronger together.

* * *

_

It was well after dinner when they arrived at Seven Voices. The place was nearly deserted, most of the students having gone home to visit with family over the long break. Ritsuka had hoped to see Nagisa, wishing to press her more on her knowledge of Septimal Moon and Seimei's past, but they were met by Youji who looked surprisingly tired.

"You okay?" Ritsuka asked.

"Oh, yeah," Youji answered, looking a bit sheepish, "it's just that Nagisa-sensei's been having us train from the minute we get up until it's dark. She only let us stop because she knew you two were coming."

"She knew?" Ritsuka ventured. "How...?"

Youji laughed. "You really don't know anything, do you Ritsuka-kun?"

Soubi rested a hand on Ritsuka's shoulder and said, "I think what Youji is trying to say" – he frowned at Youji – "is that in the world of the Sentoukou, we are trained to sense the presence of fighter units, especially powerful ones."

"So Seimei will know we are coming," Ritsuka observed thoughtfully, resolving to ask Soubi later how he might learn to do this. "Interesting."

"A spell battle is never won by surprise. It is, in many ways, a ritual dance between opponents," Soubi continued, smiling to see comprehension in Ritsuka's face. "Even with Minami Sora's unorthodox fighting style, his fighters will announce their battles."

"I guess that's something to be thankful for," Ritsuka said, as they followed Youji down the hallway to the guest rooms. The thought didn't reassure him, however. Announced or not, Seimei and Nisei were dangerous and powerful opponents. There was no escaping the inevitable battle between brothers, Ritsuka knew.

Youji paused outside the door of one of the rooms. "Nagisa-sensei had the suite prepared for you," he said. "She said you'd be staying a while." Ritsuka was silently thankful that Nagisa had not assigned them separate rooms – he and Soubi would need all the time they could get together if they were going to have the strength to defeat Seimei once and for all.

"Thank you," Ritsuka said, yawning and opening the door.

"I'll see you both tomorrow, then?" Youji offered.

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Youji replied with a broad smile, "she said you'll be training with us."

* * *

Ritsuka pulled his t-shirt off over his head and stretched out on one of the beds. "Nap time?" Soubi asked, grinning.

"Hmm," Ritsuka answered. "I guess I didn't sleep very well last night. Sorry. I had all these ideas of getting to work with Ritsu and Nagisa tonight, but..."

"Get some sleep," Soubi said, interrupting. "I need to speak to Ritsu alone, anyhow. We'll have plenty of time to start our work in the morning."

"You...you're going to speak to Ritsu?" Ritsuka remembered Nagisa's words when he had left to look for Soubi in Hokkaido, _"__Please bring Soubi back here," _she had said. _"He needs to speak with Ritsu. They _both_ need it." _

"Yes," Soubi said, smiling and sitting down next to Ritsuka on the edge of the bed.

"I'm glad," Ritsuka said, thinking about the diary he had given Soubi a few days before – Soubi's mother's diary. He had forgotten about it until he had found it amongst his things when he was unpacking the small bag he had taken with him in his search for Soubi. _Maybe reading that was what he needed to face his own feelings,_ Ritsuka thought.

"I'll be back later," Soubi said, leaning down and kissing Ritsuka sweetly on the lips.

"Mmm," sighed Ritsuka, closing his eyes. "I'll be waiting."

* * *

Soubi walked through the familiar building. With the students gone, there was a different quality to the place. He remembered holidays spent here – he had looked forward to these times as a child, when he had been able to walk the corridors of the school without coming into contact with the other students. It had been easier for those few weeks each winter and summer, when he did not have to justify where he spent his nights or listen to the taunts of the other children.

Turning the corner towards Ritsu's office and private rooms, Soubi fought the feeling that he was that same, awkward teenager again. _It's time to move on ,_ he thought, stopping in front of the office door. _You have more important things to do now than reminisce. Ritsuka needs you. And, for once, you are going to be there for him._

Raising his head with determination, he knocked on the door. "Come!" he heard from within. Without hesitation, he strode into the room. Ritsu was seated at the desk, his fingers resting lightly on what Soubi realized was a book in Braille.

"Soubi," Ritsu said, not waiting for Soubi to announce himself, "it's so good to see you." The irony of Ritsu's words were not lost on Soubi. _Of course he would know it's me,_ Soubi thought, _even without seeing me_. _ He knows every movement of my body, the sound of my footsteps, the sound of my breath..._

"Tell me what you know about Ritsuka," Soubi said, closing the door behind him. His face was dark with unexpressed anger, his voice tight.

Ritsu stood up, walking towards Soubi. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean, Soubi-kun," he said, testing the waters.

"You know _exactly_ what I mean," Soubi countered, unmoved. "You knew about what they did to Ritsuka. And you did nothing to stop it."

* * *

**Author's Note: Another mystery, which will lead to the final truth behind Seimei's betrayal and Septimal Moon. Hope you enjoyed the bit of fluff, as well. We're at the last arc of the story, and I'm guessing it will be another 3-4 chapters long, give or take. I hope you all have a great 2011! -Lex**

*Natto is made by fermenting cooked soybeans with a bacteria called Bacillus natto.


	17. Turning Point

**Author's Note: So, here you have it, the reason behind what happened with Seimei and Ritsuka. I hope you enjoy my take on Seimei, Sora and Ritsu, and why Ritsu gave Soubi to Seimei! -Lex**

Chapter Seventeen: Turning Point

The conversation with Ritsu began pretty much as Soubi had expected. At first, Ritsu was evasive, trying to ascertain how much of the truth Soubi already knew. Soubi indulged his former mentor, patiently answering Ritsu's questions: What, if anything, had Ritsuka remembered? Nothing, only vague dreams. Had Seimei ever spoken of his work with Septimal Moon? No. Never. Had Seimei ever mentioned Sora? No. Never.

"I've told you all I know," Soubi said finally, nearing the end of his patience. "Now I expect nothing less from you."

Ritsu leaned back in his chair, his hands on the edge of the desk. "I am not proud of what I have done, Soubi-kun," he said with a sigh.

"This has to do with my parents' deaths, doesn't it?" Soubi pressed, unwilling to allow Ritsu to indulge himself in self-recrimination – Soubi needed answers, and he had no need to serve as Ritsu's confessional. "Did you really believe I wouldn't put things together?"

Ritsu smiled. "No, Soubi-kun," he replied, "you are far too intelligent for that. I gave you your mother's diary because you needed to know."

"My mother knew about what Sora was doing," Soubi said with an even voice, "that's why she and my father were killed." Ritsu shifted in his seat and, although his face was expressionless, Soubi knew he had hit upon the truth.

"Yes," Ritsu answered. "I should have realized it sooner. I tried to find out what she was up to, but…"

"But she wouldn't tell you because Sora was your brother," Soubi supplied.

"Yes."

"You are really a fool, Ritsu," Soubi remarked. The words were blunt, but his tone was surprisingly sympathetic. "A fool and a self-centered bastard."

Ritsu laughed. "I deserve to be called a fool, no doubt. But self-centered?"

"You really believe her death was your fault, don't you? After all you've learned? After all these years?" Soubi asked. Soubi shook his head and ran a hand to smooth his hair. "Did you believe you were that important?"

"I should have been able to prevent it. Sora was _my_ brother, after all. I was part of Septimal Moon."

"That's where you're mistaken," Soubi replied. "Sora brought you into the fold only because it was easier to keep an eye on you that way. Neither you nor Nagisa were ever a part of Septimal Moon."

Ritsu's face relaxed, and Soubi thought he looked ten years older than when he had entered the room, just minutes before. "I should have realized," Ritsu insisted. "I should have…"

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself," Soubi chided. "My parents are dead. You have the chance to do something about Sora _now_. Tell me what you know about Ritsuka. I won't lose _him_. Unless you _want_ to be held responsible for what happens to Ritsuka, as well."

Ritsu took a deep breath. Then, rising from his chair, he walked over to the window. Soubi thought it a strange sight – the blind man, gazing out the window, imagining perhaps the moon rising over the grounds. _He has always been blind, in a sense,_ thought Soubi, finding himself nostalgic. _He has never fully acknowledged the truth before his own eyes._ The intensity of the emotions which Soubi felt surprised him. _I loved him, once_, he thought. It was a sad and fleeting thought.

"Your mother had been acting strangely," Ritsu finally began, putting his hand on the cool glass of the window. "But there were so many things happening then… changes in the way the Sentoukou were being used. The government, which had long relied upon us, cast us aside. Yumiko* and I had been assigned to the Prime Minister's security detachment, but we were suddenly told that we were no longer needed. It was a strange time – we had no idea what to do with ourselves."

"Go on," Soubi pressed, forcing the ache in his chest back to the recesses of his memory. He would not allow himself to experience the pain of his mother's death again now – this was about Ritsuka, not about him. Not this time.

"We still went on missions," Ritsu continued, "but they were sporadic. We were hired out – paid bodyguards. But we had so much more time on our hands. Sora, Nagisa and the others had been conducting their research for years, but for once your mother and I had more time to spend here. I started teaching some of the younger students.

"I don't know what your mother learned, but she must have at least suspected that the experiments had progressed beyond Nagisa's work with the Zero, and that Sora was using children, trying to alter them to make them stronger fighters. Years later, I learned that she had confronted Sora the day she died. But, at the time, I had no idea. I believe she was afraid that you would be next, Soubi-kun." He paused briefly, then continued, "A few years after your mother's death, Nagisa and Sora had a falling out, and Nagisa admitted to me that she discovered that Sora had been conducting research outside of Seven Voices."

"And Seimei?" Soubi asked.

"He was involved, yes. But it wasn't just Seimei…" Ritsu's voice trailed off, and Soubi could see his shoulders slope downwards.

"Tell me," Soubi demanded. "This isn't the time to be silent. If her life meant anything to you…"

Ritsu turned around, his empty eyes facing the place where Soubi sat. "You're right," he sighed. Then, turning back to the window, he said, "It was Aoyagi-san, as well."

Soubi shuddered. He had guessed as much, but the thought had been too horrible to even contemplate. "Ritsuka's _father_?" he whispered, trying to catch his breath.

"Yes," Ritsu answered.

It explained everything, of course. Ritsuka's mother, torn between her husband and the children she loved, had lost her grip on reality. She had probably known what Ritsuka's father had allowed to happen to her youngest son, but had not been able to bring herself to do anything about it. And Seimei… Seimei had been not much more than a child himself at the time. _Thank God the Aoyagi's are dead,_ thought Soubi.

"The Aoyagi's, like your family, were one of the original seven families," Ritsu continued. "They knew that the age of the Sentoukou was over long before the government told us they didn't need us anymore. Sora offered something Ritsuka's father desperately wanted: a means to show the world the power of the spell fighters."

"So he allowed Sora to experiment with his own child? And his oldest son was a willing participant in this?" Soubi marveled. It was all stating the obvious, of course, but Soubi could not help but say it. He felt physically ill at the thought of what Sora might have done to Ritsuka.

"I've thought about this a great deal, Soubi-kun," Ritsu said, walking back to his desk and sitting down heavily in the chair. "In a sense, Seimei was as much a victim as Ritsuka. He only did what his father told him to. He was just a child himself."

Soubi frowned. "He's had plenty of chances to come clean. He's hardly a child any more, and his father has been gone for years now."

"That is true, of course," Ritsu replied. "I am not suggesting he is completely innocent. Still…" His voice trailed off.

"What did they do to them? To Ritsuka and the other children?" Soubi's voice was barely above a whisper.

"To this day, I'm really not sure," Ritsu said. "But I don't believe it's a coincidence that Ritsuka is able to fight, or that he is a blank sacrifice. Blank fighters like you, Soubi-kun, are exceedingly rare. Until I met Ritsuka, I had never heard of a blank sacrifice, let alone a sacrifice who could effectively serve as a fighter."

It all made sense to Soubi, all the loose ends he had been unable to resolve after Seimei faked his own death. Of course Seimei had been cruel – how else could he have reconciled allowing Sora to experiment on his beloved little brother but to harden his heart? And Ritsuka's loss of memory – it had not been the shock of seeing Seimei burned to death that had triggered it – it had been the drugs Sora had used to make Ritsuka forget. Eventually, Soubi guessed, Sora had used so many drugs on Ritsuka that Ritsuka's mind had been, at least temporarily, damaged.

Soubi found himself clenching his fists so tightly that his fingernails broke the skin of his palms. He looked down at his hands, noticing the tiny drops of blood blooming there – it felt as though they were part of someone else's body, not his. His heart ached for Ritsuka and he feared for the man he loved.

Ritsu, noticing Soubi's silence and correctly guessing at his thoughts, said, "Ritsuka is strong, Soubi-kun. You know this, as well. He will survive this." Ritsu was right, of course – it had been Ritsuka's strength that had saved his own soul when he had been trapped in the Nothingness fighter's illusion. "You have always been stronger than you know, Soubi-kun. But Ritsuka…he is stronger still. With you at his side…"

"There is more, isn't there?" Soubi said, standing up abruptly, unwilling to allow Ritsu to share in any of his feelings towards Ritsuka.

"I…" Ritsu began, looking very uncomfortable now.

"Tell me," Soubi demanded. His head pounded, and he felt dizzy, but he resolved not to leave until Ritsu told him everything he wanted to know. "How do I fit into all of this?"

Ritsu chuckled, but there was a distinctly bitter echo in his voice. "As always, you impress me, Soubi-kun. I would like to claim all of the credit for your insight, but that would be unfair of me."

"I'm tired of your pandering," Soubi answered, his voice cold, devoid of emotion. "Tell me why you gave me to Seimei. That's what this is all leading up to, isn't it?"

"Yes," Ritsu answered, taking off his dark glasses to reveal the empty sockets beneath. "It does lead to you, I suppose. Ironic, isn't it, how your fate and Ritsuka's have always been intertwined?" Soubi did not respond.

Ritsu sat straighter in his chair now, and Soubi had the definite sense that the older man had _wanted_ this moment to come for years, to lift a burden that he had carried far too long. "I gave you to Seimei," he said, as a tear fell from his cheek, "to save Ritsuka."

Soubi just stared.

"I loved you, Soubi," Ritsu explained, his tears now falling in earnest. "I wanted to be your sacrifice, although I told myself that I was too old. And still, I had convinced myself that we would remain together after your training was complete. I knew that, even though a part of you hated me, you loved me, as well. I was selfish. I wanted to keep you for myself."

For a few minutes, Ritsu said nothing more, and the oppressive silence of the room pounded in Soubi's ears. _He sacrificed me to save Ritsuka? But how could I ever have been more valuable than Ritsuka?_

"I know what you're thinking," said Ritsu sadly. "You cannot understand it. You underestimate your worth, as always, Soubi-kun." He leaned back in the chair, turning his head towards the boxes of butterflies mounted on the wall, and Soubi almost imagined the older man could see them.

"I found out about Ritsuka just a month before you became Seimei's sacrifice. I realized, of course, that it was not just my brother who was complicit in the experiments, but that it was Ritsuka's father, as well. I did the only thing I knew to do – I confronted Aoyagi-san. He laughed. He told me I could do nothing about it, that Ritsuka was his son, and he could do as he wished with the boy. I was a fool to believe it would be so simple," Ritsu explained.

"He had heard of you, of course – who at Seven Voices hadn't? Of course he would have known what you were! He threatened to have you killed if I made the truth known. I couldn't allow that to happen. He told me he would keep you 'safe' if I were to allow Seimei to have you, and he promised he would stop the research Sora was conducting."

"I was his _hostage_?"

"Yes. Although I wonder if, by that time, Aoyagi-san had realized _you_ were more valuable than his own son. Regardless, he kept his word, or so I thought. Sora's lab was closed, and I was able to make sure that Ritsuka was not touched again. I did not realize until after Seimei returned, unharmed, that Sora had simply moved his base of operations to Hokkaido. Other than the loss of memory, Ritsuka appeared unscathed. And you…" – Ritsu sighed deeply – "you appeared to adapt. I knew you hated me for sending you to Seimei, but I also knew you were safe. Or so I hoped."

"I still don't understand," Soubi said, more to himself than to Ritsu. "If I was so important, why did Seimei fake his death? Why deceive me?"

"Ah," said Ritsu, "I think I can answer _that_ question. I believe that Seimei realized that you would be an excellent and powerful partner for Ritsuka."

"Yes," Soubi agreed. "He played on our emotions – he used his death to bring us together. We were both grieving, and he knew…" His voice trailed off. _You were so naïve,_ he thought. _You fell for it, hook, line and sinker._ Still, Soubi couldn't help but realize that, but for Seimei's cold heart, he would never have come to love Ritsuka.

"I loved you, Soubi-kun," Ritsu repeated, after a few more minutes of silence, his face still wet with tears. "Believe me, if I had known how Seimei would treat you…"

"Enough," Soubi said, silencing Ritsu and standing up. _To hell with the past!_ "Ritsuka and I will begin training in the morning. You will say nothing of this conversation to him. If he presses you, tell him that we are reconciled and that I have forgiven you."

Ritsu frowned. "Have you forgiven me, then?" he asked.

Soubi considered the question. "Yes," he said, finally. "But it's not because of anything you have done. You have Ritsuka to thank for it." And with that, Soubi turned and walked out of the room, not looking back to see Ritsu's response.

* * *

It was well past midnight when Soubi returned to the guest suite, and Ritsuka was sound asleep on one of the beds. Soubi pulled off his clothes and slipped beneath the covers, warm from Ritsuka's body. Ritsuka stirred, rolling over and putting his arms around Soubi's waist, pulling him close and yawning.

"Did you have a good talk?" Ritsuka asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"Yes," Soubi replied, gazing up at the ceiling and forcing his tense shoulders to relax.

"Good," murmured Ritsuka, pillowing his head on Soubi's chest and yawning again. "I'm glad, Soubi."

"I love you, Ritsuka-kun," Soubi said as he kissed Ritsuka on the forehead and smiled. _I will protect you with my life,_ he thought_._ Ritsuka smiled, his eyes closing once more as he fell asleep to the sound of Soubi's heartbeat.

For some time, Soubi lay awake, listening to Ritsuka's soft snoring. Although he was loathe to admit it, his conversation with Ritsu had greatly disturbed him. _You were naïve to believe hearing the truth would give you any peace. Eventually, you will have to tell Ritsuka the truth._

* * *

*I've given Soubi's mother a first name, since there is none that I've been able to find in YK's mangas. If I've missed it, please let me know!


	18. The Power Within

Chapter Eighteen: The Power Within

The next week passed quickly – a blur of training at the hands of Ritsu and sometimes Nagisa, assisted by Zero. Soubi could not help but be amazed at how quickly Ritsuka seemed to learn spells. The nights held little promise of affection – both Ritsuka and Soubi were too exhausted after the rigorous training to do anything but fall asleep in each other's arms. It wasn't much, but all the same, Soubi was thankful just to feel his lover's body next to his.

For his part, Ritsuka asked Soubi briefly about his conversation with Ritsu, but when Soubi dodged the question, Ritsuka let it drop, assuming that Soubi was not ready to tell him about it. The truth was not far from that, although Soubi's motives for remaining tight-lipped were far different from what Ritsuka believed. Soubi had no intention of revealing the terrible truth about Ritsuka's past; he would not risk the likely harm that would result. Someday, Soubi told himself, after the inevitable confrontation with Seimei was well in the past, Soubi might tell Ritsuka the truth. But not now. Not when Ritsuka had already been through so much.

It was on the eighth day of training that Soubi began to sense that something was wrong. It had come on slowly throughout the week, the slight headaches after practice. But this time, after only an hour, Ritsuka complained of a worsening headache and dizziness. "I'm fine, really," he told Soubi as he leaned against the wall of the gymnasium, wiping sweat from his eyes and looking quite pale. "I'm probably just getting a cold." Soubi, noticing the pained expression on Ritsu's face, said only, "I'm going to take you back to your room to rest. I'll have Nagisa look in on you." Ritsuka protested, but finally acquiesced after a dizzy spell that he nearly fainted from. Back in their small room, Soubi tucked Ritsuka under the blankets and wiped his damp face. Ritsuka managed a weak smile, then mumbled something unintelligible as he fell asleep.

Nagisa appeared a few minutes later, saying nothing to Soubi, but sitting by Ritsuka's bed and taking his blood pressure, temperature, and listening to his chest with her stethoscope. During all of this, Soubi stood by the window, back to the glass, looking on. After a half hour had passed, Nagisa motioned Soubi to join her outside the room and, closing the door behind them, said, "He'll be fine, Soubi. You need to relax."

Soubi's expression darkened. "This isn't a coincidence, is it?" he demanded, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb Ritsuka.

"What isn't a coincidence?" she countered, eyeing him with caution.

"The fact that he took ill so suddenly, and that it happened when we were training together," Soubi replied. "And don't tell me you hadn't already considered it."

"I don't know what's wrong with him, Soubi," she said, "if that's what you're getting at."

"But you suspect something, don't you?" Soubi pressed. He ran a hand through his blond hair and clenched his jaw tightly.

"It _is_ a bit unusual," she replied, her expression softening a bit, "that a perfectly healthy man would become so weak and disoriented so quickly. I don't deny that. Still, the fact that he doesn't have a fever doesn't mean…"

"But you _know_ what he went through as a child," Soubi rejoined. "If this is…"

"It could just be a fast-acting virus," she said, interrupting him.

"Or something else," Soubi answered. "Something to do with what those bastards did to him."

"It is possible," she replied, unwilling to fight him on the point. "Either way, what he needs now is rest. He'll probably be fine in the morning. You both have been training very hard." She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'll come by first thing tomorrow, but if there's any change tonight, let me know."

Soubi reached into his pocket without thinking, looking for a cigarette. There were none, of course – he had sworn to Ritsuka he would give them up. "All right," he told her.

"You're welcome," she told him.

"Right," he answered. "Thanks." He opened the door to the room as she walked down the hallway.

She was right, of course, he had overreacted. _"It'll be fine,"_ he thought, seeing Ritsuka's sleeping figure. _"He'll be fine. He __has__ to be fine."_ He sat down on the chair by the bed and watched Ritsuka sleep, replacing the cool washcloth on his lover's forehead from time to time.

* * *

Soubi awoke with a start, having fallen asleep in the chair at Ritsuka's beside. Soubi glanced at the clock: three a.m. Ritsuka was mumbling something in his sleep and shifting restlessly in the bed.

"Shhh," Soubi cooed as he placed his hand on Ritsuka's cheek. The skin was cold and clammy.

"Seimei," Ritsuka moaned. "Please…come back."

Soubi adjusted the covers, covering Ritsuka's shoulders.

"No…Seimei…you have to…I don't want you to get hurt."

Unsure of whether to wake Ritsuka, Soubi moved to the bed, sitting next to the boy and leaning over him. "It's all right, Ritsuka," he said in a low, reassuring voice. I'm here."

Ritsuka's eyes snapped open and he sat up abruptly, tossing off the covers and grabbing Soubi's shoulders in a vice-like grip. "No. You won't hurt him. I won't let you!" he shouted.

"Ritsuka," Soubi said with alarm, "it's me. Soubi. You're dreaming. Everything's going to be…"

"No!" Ritsuka shouted again.

Soubi tried to pull away from Ritsuka, attempting to free himself from Ritsuka's grip. Ritsuka's eyes seemed glazed over, as if he could not see Soubi, even though the other man was only inches in front of him. "Ritsuka," Soubi pleaded, afraid to handle Ritsuka too roughly, "you're dreaming. Please, wake up."

"No!" Ritsuka's face was even paler than before, and his expression was one of sheer terror.

Soubi, attempting once more to calm the boy, continued to speak in a gentle, soothing tone. But as he spoke, the edges of his vision seemed to blur and shift. Even in the semi-darkness, Soubi saw what he could only describe later as vibrations of color that appeared to emanate from Ritsuka's body. An aura, of sorts, that seemed to roil and pulse even as he watched.

It was then that Soubi realized his own body was growing cold. He shivered, trying to maintain his focus on Ritsuka's face. It was difficult – almost as if the room were full of water, and he was underneath, trying to make out the blurry images at the surface. "Ritsuka…" he whispered as his mind seemed to float away, mingling with the colors and sounds. "Ritsuka?" he heard himself say again, from far away.

* * *

_He found himself in an enormous, empty space that seemed to extend forever all around him._

"_Ritsuka?"_

_There was no answer, only the beating of his heart._

"_Ritsuka!" He shouted it this time, feeling the stirrings of fear. It was so quiet here, so…empty._

_In the distance, he heard footsteps. He turned towards the sound, squinting, trying to see who was approaching, eager to find his bearings in this desolate place. It seemed as though an eternity passed before he saw the faint outline of a figure – a man – moving towards him._

"_Ritsuka?" There was no response, but Soubi became aware of low noises that seemed to echo all around him. He strained to hear the sound even as he watched the man grow closer._

_The noise grew louder. A flicker of recognition sent shivers through Soubi's body – he could now make out the noise. Moans. Cries. The sobbing of a child. Sounds of pain and suffering. _"Oh, God,"_ he thought as he wondered if he were asleep and dreaming. Except that it didn't feel like a dream, it felt like…_

"_Who are you?" Ritsuka stood before him, his eyes narrowed, suspicion evident in his expression. "Who gave you permission to come to this place?"_

"_Where is this place?" Soubi wondered aloud._

_Ritsuka ignored Soubi's expression and repeated his own. "Who are you?" Soubi hesitated, more out of confusion than anything else. "If you do not tell me, you will die here."_

_Before he could answer, Soubi felt something tighten around his neck. He raised his hands to try to pull it away, but found nothing there but his own skin. He began to see stars. "Ritsuka," he gasped. "You know me. I'm Soubi."_

_The pressure against Soubi's neck let up slightly as Ritsuka asked, "What are you to me?"_

"_I'm your fighter, Ritsuka. Your friend. Your lover."_

_Ritsuka tilted his head to the side, as if trying to determine whether Soubi was telling the truth. "Give me your hand," Ritsuka ordered. Soubi complied. The tightness around his throat eased a bit more._

_Ritsuka took Soubi's hand in his and studied it. "You are Beloved," he said after a moment._

"_No," Soubi protested. "Not Beloved. I am Loveless."_

"_You lie," Ritsuka hissed. "You are for _him_."_

"_Seimei?" Soubi responded, confused._

_Ritsuka smiled. "I knew it. I knew you were not for me. You lied."_

"_I am yours, Ritsuka," Soubi said with alarm. "I have given my soul to you."_

"_He lies, Seimei," Ritsuka said, turning to the side. A figure materialized there, familiar, disturbing. _

"_He wants to hurt you," Seimei said as he nodded solemnly._

_Soubi's stomach clenched at these words. "Ritsuka," Soubi began, "what is this place?"_

_Ritsuka looked to Seimei, who walked towards Soubi until the stood, face to face, inches apart. "That you do not know," Seimei said haughtily, "is reason enough not to enlighten you, Soubi."_

"_Ritsuka," Soubi repeated, ignoring Seimei's words. "Please…"_

"_Take care of him," Ritsuka said, his voice like ice. Seimei smiled, and Ritsuka turned around and began to walk away. _

"_Ritsuka!" Soubi shouted. He pushed Seimei out of the way and began to run after Ritsuka._

"_No," Seimei said, laughing now. "You won't find him there, Soubi. The only way to him is through me." _

_Soubi's legs stopped moving; he stood immobilized. The room began to spin wildly about him and he struggled not to vomit. He felt Seimei's hands around his neck and he struggled to breathe again._

"_Seimei," Soubi said, his voice unable to issue from his lips. "Please. He has to let you go."_

"_You are naïve, old friend," he said, his tone making it clear that Soubi was anything but. "I _own_ him. Mind, body and soul. I always have."_

"_No," Soubi protested, gasping for breath._

"_You will die, Soubi, if _you_ don't let him go," Seimei said, voice full of pleasure. "His power is mine to control. He will do my bidding, just as _you_ always have."_

_Soubi fought to stay alert. Every fiber of his being screamed out for air. He would die like this, and there was nothing he could do to save himself._

"_Soubi!" _

"Help me,"_ Soubi thought desperately._

"_Soubi!" The same voice, closer now. Familiar._

"Please…"_ though Soubi, as the world around him seemed to swirl once more and then vanish._

* * *

"Soubi!" He recognized that voice. Nagisa. He felt the sting of a hand across his face. "Soubi, open your eyes!"

He obliged, coughing and spluttering as her face came into focus. "Where…?" he choked out, trying to focus his eyes.

"You're in your room," Nagisa said as she looked at him with concern.

Soubi's eyes settled on the still figure lying on the bed. "Oh, God! Ritsuka!"

"He's fine, Soubi," she replied, her eyes willing him to calm down. "I gave him a sedative."

"How? Where was I?"

She frowned, turning back to the now-sleeping Ritsuka. "What did you see, Soubi?" she asked, frowning at him.

"I…" he said, still trying to catch his breath. "It was…" – he tried to explain the sensation, closing his eyes briefly to recall it – "It was as if I were…" The realization hit him all of a sudden, and he breathed in sharply. "As if I were inside of a spell battle," he finished at last.

"A battle?"

"The backdrop," Soubi explained. "It felt like that – the backdrop for a spell battle. Except that there was no battle. It was just me, Ritsuka, and…_him_."

"Him?" she asked.

"Seimei," he replied. He leaned a hand on the mattress, suddenly exhausted. It felt as though he had just fought a spell battle.

"You should rest, Soubi," she said.

"I can't," he protested.

"Ritsuka will sleep until morning," she replied. She had sensed his concern. "I'll stay here with him."

"What's going on, Nagisa?" he asked.

She took a deep breath. "This place," she ventured as she frowned. "The place you found yourself in – the backdrop?"

"What about it?"

"Did it remind you of anything, Soubi?"

His lips parted in surprise. He had been too distracted after the experience to think clearly, but now that she suggested it… "The battle," he replied. "On Hokkaido. The Nothingness pair." Her eyes would not meet his. "What does it mean, Nagisa?"

"What happened to Ritsuka," she murmured. "What they did to him…"

"They did this to him?" Soubi demanded. Fear settled in the pit of his stomach. "But why now? He's been fine."

"I don't know," she said. "The training, maybe? You've both been under a great deal of stress."

"Only a fighter could create such a complete universe," Soubi said, thinking out loud. "He almost killed me in there."

"I'm sure he didn't mean to," she offered.

Soubi ignored her sympathy. He didn't need it. He needed answers. "This isn't a coincidence, is it?"

"You tell me," she answered. "You know more than I do about his past. Ritsu has told me only so much."

He thought for a moment, then turned her chin towards him so she could not avoid his eyes. "What will happen to him?"

"I don't know," she said, and he believed her. "This power…_his_ power…it's growing, Soubi. He's obviously not in control of it."

"Then we must _teach_ him to control it," Soubi responded.

"A laudable goal," she said with a raised eyebrow. "And how do you plan to accomplish it?"

Soubi had no idea. "I'll figure something out. _We_ will figure something out."

"You'd better figure it out soon, Soubi," she answered. "Don't doubt that he _would_ have killed you, if I hadn't come in to check on you both. If I hadn't drugged him, you could have been stuck in that place."

"He wouldn't hurt me," Soubi growled, standing up and walking across the room in anger.

"Are you so sure?" she asked. "How do you feel right now, Soubi?" He said nothing, but just scowled at her. "You look like shit. I'm guessing you wouldn't be able to fight now to save your life."

"I'm fine," he lied. "I'm staying with him. You can leave."

"Have it your way," she said as she stood up and walked to the door. "I'll be back at dawn. Ritsu will want to discuss this situation with you both."

"You can't tell him," Soubi said, surprised.

"Ritsuka has a right to know what happened, Soubi," she said. "But I'll leave it to you and Ritsu as to how _much_ you wish to tell him about how he came to be this way."

"I…" Soubi began.

"You owe it to him to tell him what happened," she said in a harsh voice. "You risk his life as well as yours if you ignore this."

"His life?"

She nodded. "This…power," she said, trying to find the words to describe it, "it drains him as much as it threatens you. You saw him nearly collapse today," she continued. "You have no choice but to tell him. It will continue to eat at him from inside until he is able to bring it under control."

"You don't know for sure what will happen if he doesn't, do you?" Soubi pointed out.

"Not for sure, no," she admitted. "But if this power continues to build within him and is not released, he could die." Soubi was silent. "And if it _is_ released and threatens the safety of our students," she explained, "we will have little choice but to stop him before he does any permanent damage." With these words, she turned and walked out of the door, closing it behind her.

Soubi looked down at Ritsuka's sleeping form. No matter what, he would not allow them to harm Ritsuka. He brushed his fingertips across the boy's lips and gazed sadly down at his peaceful face.

"It's time to leave this place, Ritsuka," he whispered. "We're out of time."


End file.
